Really sad because of my bf's reaction... :(

[waytoodown]

Me and my bf have been in a long distance relationship ( 2.5 hrs car drive) for the last 13 months. We had recently decided that I would slowly move my stuff to his place, in the next 1-2 months.

However, I got the news a week ago that I got a 7 month contract in my field, which is great, but it's in my city. I decided to accept the job, as I not only didn't have a job in his city, but had been applying for a few months and had yet to even get an interview!

From my point of view, I thought that I would be getting experience in my field and would have 7 months to keep applying in his city, and hopefully find a job so that when my contract ends, I would be able to move to his city and already have a job( since I don't like the idea of me moving to his city without a job....).

To my sadness, my bf has not taken the news as good as I was hoping he would. He's angry at me, says he's tired of doing long distance but agrees taking the job was the best thing for me to do, while not the best for "us". He hasn't wanted to talk about it with me anymore, saying he wants to wait until I come to see him in 4 days. This makes me sad, and I almost regret accepting the good paying, wonderful experience, full time job.... ( which is the only one I have yet to find that would hire someone without experience, like me.)

( In case it makes a difference, we are both in our mid 20's, there's no chance of him moving to my city with the job he has and I just graduated from college, which is why I didn't have a job before.)

Did I make the wrong decision?!? Or should my bf be more supportive and understanding?!?

[Ashurii]

From what you said, he is semi-understanding and admitted it was a good opportunity, just not the best for your relationship. Plus, maybe he'll use the four days to think about it more. But I suppose a 2.5 isn't so horrible, it can be much worse long-distance.

[hello1]

Aww well your careers seem to be taking you in different directions. I see his point but yours too. You both have jobs and maybe you two are just not meant to be??

[Gigabitch]

Long distance doesn't work if it goes on too long or if there isn't a solid plan for being together for real at some agreed-upon point in the future. I don't really blame him. In fact, he's absolutely right and you're being emotionally insensitive.

[waytoodown]

..... I have told him that I would be moving in with him the day after my contract ends, so that he knows it's going to happen.

...Should I just give up the job in my field to go work at a retail store in his city? :S

[Gigabitch]

NO, but I think you should seriously reconsider whether this long distance thing is sustainable.

[waytoodown]

Honestly, I didn't see it as that big of a deal.... We see eachother every weekend, so we could have kept doing this. I can ask for my contract to be minimised to 5 months, which I would probably do, and in 5 months I could move to his city.

Considering he was really nervous and slightly unsure we were ready to move in together before, I thought he would have been happy!

[Gigabitch]

Do you think he's just looking for an excuse to end it?

[waytoodown]

Ok, so I guess I somewhat better understand why he's upset.... ( I just spoke with some other ppl...)

... without giving up my new job, does anyone know if I can do anything for him to accept better the LDR for another 5 months? I'd rather not give up on it as we are usually extremely happy as a couple and we both see a great future together.

[waytoodown]

Hum....I hadn't thought of that honestly. I didn't think he would do that, but then again it would explain his reaction better.

I guess I'm just going to have to ask him straight out when I see him in 4 days.

[IncognitoSir]

Seems like he's getting pretty frustrated with the whole LDR, but I dont think he's completely given up just not looking forward to another 7 month delay ya know. Give him time to think it over. I can tell you from experience, DONT move to him without a job, you'll regret it.........I speak from experience.

[QueenofCorona]

You two will just have to talk about things. Honestly though what could have happened is you could have moved 2 hours away and lived with him for who knows how long and been unemployed and ended up getting on eachothers nerves, you being broke and him resenting you for being jobless. If its meant to be, you two will make it work.