should i give him sex to keep him?

[teeshaandamidah]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and I was wondering if I can get some help with my problem.
Ok me and my boyfriend have met each other 3 years ago during my summer break here in US I was 16 and him 15 at the time. We didn't see each other after the end of summer as I got home.
When I came back here last year to study in the US he said he missed me all that time and was wishing we can get back together I was hesitant at first as I just got out of a break up but after I accept.

The truth is I liked him but I wasn't really into him like the way he was for me. I was surprised because everything went fine between us at a point that I was also in love with him.

2 months ago I've met a guy really handsome who looked like the player type and I fell for him I didn't know why since then everything is difficult with my boyfriend.
I sincerely told him I want to break up. But I didn't think about what was going to happen. So I broke up with him to be with the other guy but he wasn't really meeting my expectations. I don't really know I think my boyfriend set my expectations so high that I hoped he could act like him. Anyway, I regretted being with him so I broke up. My boyfriend was always there for me even Thought I was dating the other guy.
Even after I felt so bad because I figured out that he was the one I was in love with. So I told him I still love him and we went back together. I tried to make him forgive me and I succeded. Then the "handsome guy" came over again saying he loves me and was willing to change for me. I was confused because my boyfriend wasn't my type at first he succeded to be with me by his personality. Its like he was the only one who can understand me we were always there for each other. So I told both of them they should give me time to think amd then I will give them my answer. Me and my boyfriend were both virgin not the guy. I told my boyfriend to go to prom with another girl a friend of him and he did. I didn't wanted to have a bad effect on him.

One thing after the other his mother figured it out that her son and the 2 boys were involved in something with me and that I was making my boyfriend sad. She went to see the other guy to tell him I'm playing games with both of them and that he should help her make her son forget me. Now he came and told me what she said and my boyfriend came to see me. He was hurted by what his mom said and didn't understood why she did it. I finally told them I don't want to be with either one because I don't want trouble.

But I regretted. The next day. I went to see my boyfriend to tell him I love him. When the other guy found out he sent some of my old message saying that I was leaving my boyfriend for him to the mother. My boyfriend was so hurt that day. His parents told him to start dating other girls to get over me. Since that day I knew I've made the biggest mistake by first going out with the guy because he ruined my relationship with my boyfriend. My boyfriend went to prom with his friend I didn't knew that she was in love with him. So she made him loose his virginity and the next day he didn't call me. I was so deceived when he came to see me. He was changed. He was a different person he didn't kiss me the same way nor touched the same way. We talked about the girl and while he was talking I figured out he wasn't telling me something. I got him to tell the truth and he said he was dating her because his parents told him to and he thought he would forget about me if he had sex with her. We cried together when we was explaining everything he said he didn't like having sex with her and that he felt bad doing it to her because she loves him. We are back together now but things are so difficult now. He has to stay with her so that his parents won't figure out that we're still together. It hurts me because all this happened by my fault. I think he can't leave her because he has feelings for her and she also give him sex what I can't as I have to stay virgin until I get married(muslim religion and also my commitment).

And plus his parents and sibling don't like me anymore but his grandparents complain about the fact that his mother didn't give me a chance and that she should let him decide who he wants to be with. Its hard for me because I love him, I know. He loves me I'm scared of losing him over this girl because of what she gives him. I wish his parents can give me a chance again. He's leaving soon for university in San Diego the girl is leaving to go somewhere else too he told me if he go there he will tell her that its over it will be easy because. She won't be able to see him anymore. We want to make our life together I'm already in a university and I'm transfering this summer. Do you guys think she will forget him? What should I do? Let them be together? Or should I fight to get the parents confidence again and stay with him? I really love him but all this is happening because of me and it kills me. And do you think I should give him sex so he won't have to go see her everytime?

[VincenzoG91]

You should use paragraph breaks to keep him. That wall of solid text would scare anybody off.

[teeshaandamidah]

Ok thank you

[irrelevant_89]

Wait, what? He's "your boyfriend" and he's out having sex with another girl on a regular basis?

There are so many things wrong with this... just run away. Seriously. Find someone who can keep it in his pants.

(and you should never had to "give sex" to anyone just to keep them, anyway)

[Ashurii]

What the hell?? Both of you..

[winnwinnfreddy]

I don't even have to read the wall of text to know how to answer this. Don't ever, EVER have sex with someone to keep them. Sex is an extension of a relationship, not a foundation. If all that's keeping you afloat is sex, I highly suggest you jump ship.

[tomatoes]

@_@ is the wall of text necessary? no.
u said its ur religion and ur commitment.
so what the hell are you asking for right now?

how old ARE you? TELL ME ABOUT IT. you will regret. when it's the time; u will give yourself willingly to a guy. not like now... asking things and being unsure about what you want.

[teeshaandamidah]

I'm 19 and you're right I also feel like if I do it I will regret. I'm just praying to not loose him. I don't want to sound mean but For the one judging us without giving help you're not in my situation and we all make mistakes in life I'm not a saint

[VincenzoG91]

I don't think that anybody has been permanently traumatized by this situation, but it would probably be easier for everyone involved to start fresh with different people than to forget what happened.

[tomatoes]

I'm 19 and you're right I also feel like if I do it I will regret. I'm just praying to not loose him. I don't want to sound mean but For the one judging us without giving help you're not in my situation and we all make mistakes in life I'm not a saint

I am the same age as you. I'm not a saint either. Yeah, I can have sex with anyone I want to; I'm quite an atheist but NO... that's not the way teesha. Virginity is overrated but it's my will to give it willingly to someone that deserves it. I pray that I don't lose my ex too; but you see, sometimes things happen. maybe he's not the one for you. You're just trying to make him into 'the one' for you. If he is, give it time and he WILL come back to you someday.

You want to get him back? Then win him with pride and honor. not by having sex with him okay? you worth more than that.

but I don't wanna give you hope right now. Please stop thinking about it. I beg you. Love yourself.

[Gigabitch]

The "handsome guy" didn't cause you to lose your boyfriend- you did. You jerked him around all over the place and I can't believe he actually took you back after all that.

No, don't have sex with him. If you really loved him, none of this stuff would have happened. I think you should be single for a while and sort yourself out before getting another boyfriend.

[Ashurii]

Of course people make mistakes, no one's a saint; hell, I'm still paying for a mistake I made a year ago. But let me summarize your predicament:

You have a boyfriend who you love. Awesome. Then you meet some random guy and dump your boyfriend for him after two months, hoping the new guy will act like your ex. Why? You had your boyfriend to act like your boyfriend. You realize they're different people and dump him and go back to your first boyfriend. Guy #2 pops up and tells you he 'loves' you then you randomly tell your first boyfriend to go to prom with a girl who he loses his virginity to, and his damn parents get involved and pressure him to be with prom-girl. So now you two are secretly 'together' while he screws some other girl while claiming he doesn't like doing so.

A person can hardly judge another on one mistake they made, but you went and made the same mistake again? Sorry, but I agree with the others who are saying to just get out of this entire situation and get someone new and start fresh.

[Mish]

Let him go and stay single for awhile.

[TheTooya]

I don't think that anybody has been permanently traumatized by this situation

I read this story and can say I have been permanently traumatized from reading it.

You are young, you are going to a University soon, make the most of it! The way you treated your exbf is shitty, I agree with almost everyone here, stay single for a bit. Almost ALL the high school relationships I remembered got severed before graduating college. Lemme correct that, ALL of them did. Being single is a love-hate relationship, but I definitely think you should spend some time being single for now. In the future, who knows what will happen with this guy.. but for now, work on yourself before you go working this guy.