GF has slept with a LOT of guys

[welsh_az]

Hey,

About 3 months ago i met a girl and started dating her.. I really do admire her honesty and although she is not proud of it, she told me that she had slept with around 30 men and she is only 21!! i am 24 and have only slept with 15 girls.. she says that she went a bit wild during her first year at university and was very unhappy which lead to her sleeping with about 2o guys in the soace of a year...

she insists that she has only had 2 proper bf's one for 2 years and has never cheated on a bf.. i really do like her and think i am falling in love as we just seem to work well together.. i definitly wouldnt discuss this with her as i wouldnt want to offend her and she obviously wouldnt be happy if she seen this post.. she keeps telling me that she loves me with all her heart and never wants to loose me which should be enough i guess.. although im sure ul agree that 30 is a lot, i do know i need to accept it and deal with it..

Any feedback guys would be most appreciated

[vashti]

WHY did she tell you this? Did you ask her? If so, you shouldn't have, and now you know why.

I don't know that anyone can help you. You need to decide whether or not you can overlook this. If you can, you need to not mention it, ever. If you don't think you can, you will have to let her go. She doesn't need to hear from you or anyone else about this for the rest of her life.

If you decide to let her go, you should tell her she should never tell another soul exactly how promiscuous she was. You guys generally can't take it well.

And BTW - you should always wear a condom if you have sex (with her or anyone else). She may have been tested for STDs, but they do not routinely test for some of the most common ones unless there are symptoms.

[erik]

serious question: wtf is wrong with people in the UK today, I am constantly reading shit about young people there sleeping around, getting pregnant, getting std's etc. You've "only" slept with 15 girls at 24? Jesus Christ

[Ashurii]

Haha, erik. not just the UK, I guess. Though I haven't looked at statistics or anything. But so many people in my HS got pregnant, it's ridiculous.

If she's so honest like you claim she is, OP, what's the problem? Yeah, it's nothing to be proud of, but people make dumb mistakes, and some even do better and change.

[Charlie Boy II]

20 girls in a year!! Holy f-ck. That's a brand new guy every two weeks for a whole year. Where did she find them all?

I feel for you though, and it is admirable she's been so upfront about it. If you're falling in love with her, good for you. I wouldn't let this get in your way. I'd just look at it like an isolated part of her life. It's not who she is. I feel kind of sorry for her to be honest.

[xxazurexx]

serious question: wtf is wrong with people in the UK today, I am constantly reading shit about young people there sleeping around, getting pregnant, getting std's etc. You've "only" slept with 15 girls at 24? Jesus Christ

LOL....serious over here man!! Sleeping around at 13 and dropping kids as young as 14. It's all they think about!

Products of the ex Labour government, a society gone to decay.

It's a total embarrassment for this country.

[xxazurexx]

Hey,

About 3 months ago i met a girl and started dating her.. I really do admire her honesty and although she is not proud of it, she told me that she had slept with around 30 men and she is only 21!! i am 24 and have only slept with 15 girls.. she says that she went a bit wild during her first year at university and was very unhappy which lead to her sleeping with about 2o guys in the soace of a year...

she insists that she has only had 2 proper bf's one for 2 years and has never cheated on a bf.. i really do like her and think i am falling in love as we just seem to work well together.. i definitly wouldnt discuss this with her as i wouldnt want to offend her and she obviously wouldnt be happy if she seen this post.. she keeps telling me that she loves me with all her heart and never wants to loose me which should be enough i guess.. although im sure ul agree that 30 is a lot, i do know i need to accept it and deal with it..

Any feedback guys would be most appreciated

As for you, you either accept it or you don't. If you can't, look for a girl less promiscuous. If you can find one that is.

Wear a condom, otherwise you might pick up something n-a-s-t-y and that you can't cast off.

[Lukus]

Agree with azure, sure 30 is a lot, but some would argue 15 is a lot too? As much as you try not to, this will probably always be in the back of your mind, it's not fair to yourself to plague yourself with this thought constantly.

[doppelgaenger]

Her herpes reminds her of it every night. That's prolly why she was itching to tell you.

Hahaha, sorry, pardon my puns.

[Caleb]

Dude, are the two of you on a quest to save the human race, or something? I think only god knows why she has decided to tell you that she used to be a slut, but I say, keep in mind, but mind the up keeping.

[hello1]

I think you slept with quite a lot of girls too for your age! 15 a big number. But her number is ridiculous!

[misombra]

That's pretty sad.

[welsh_az]

1) whereas i fully accept that i do not have some sacred regard for sex as ive been with 15 girls, i disagree with the above as i do feel there is a huge difference between sleepin with 30 guys at 21 yrs ols and sleepin with 15 girls at 25 yrs old..

2) im not lacking in self esteem, im not worried how i measure up, it doesnt dent my pride that she has slept with more than i have... The only reason why this is a problem is because i do really like her and i want to try and make it work but i cant help thinking that she doesnt value sex, and she has been a bit of a slut

3)does the fcat that she was honest with me and the vast majority of these guys came in the space of a 'rocky' freshers year in university make it any more acceptable/understandable/justifyable?

[Charlie Boy II]

3)does the fcat that she was honest with me and the vast majority of these guys came in the space of a 'rocky' freshers year in university make it any more acceptable/understandable/justifyable?

Yeah, it does in my opinion. I mean 20 guys in a year is a staggering figure, but I think you should draw some comfort that her promiscuous conduct appears to be mostly confined to a certain period.

My own view is that you should just chalk it up to a year of craziness and move on, particularly if you love her. Her honesty speaks a lot about her character.

Have you seen the movie Chasing Amy? It's about a guy in your exact position.

[qwertz]

That is a huge number...the 20 in a year is bad but she was also in a 2yr relationship and slept with another 10!

Only you can decide whether you can get past that or not. On the plus side (i think) at least she told you.