Dating a guy whose 20+ years younger

[Vanilla1024]

I have finally met the guy of my dreams..way to late. I am having serious moral issues with his age. I am 43, he's 19. Is this totally wrong? Granted he is very mature you would never know, but to me it's still an issue. We have been together for awhile and have discussed this repeatedly. He doesn't care one bit about my age, yet. I'm sure he will later. Keep in mind I am mad about him, he's the most awesome person I have ever met. I am worrying about what he is missing out on. The long term damage I could be causing him. Any suggestions or advice please? I don't know what to do..

[Lite]

Yes, it would be wrong of you. You're not going to cause him long-term damage, but what you are going to find is that his personality and his desires in life are still very much in transition for pretty much the next 5 years or so.

He doesn't know who he is, what he wants to be, what he wants to do, and who he wants to be yet. If he were older my answer would be different. Anyone I've ever met who is 18 or so and dating someone 5+ years older than they are typically have had a bad home life and are latching onto older people out of a need to feel stable. And then they grow to resent that person for not letting them be a kid.

[Junket]

Yeah, I agree.

I've changed a lot in the past 5 years, (I'm 24 now).

Plus, he may say he loves the way you look, or that love is on the inside, but trust me, he'll begin to long for all the young girls his age later on.

[vashti]

I don't think you need to worry so much about causing HIM long-term damage. He's just a kid, experimenting with an older, willing woman, and probably learning a lot about sex. He will move on when he's ready, and given his age, that shouldn't take too long. I think YOU are the one who sounds like you are in danger of being emotionally shredded.

[sookie6]

Vashti is absolutely right about this...

Should you invest in a long term relationship with this guy, you must know that one day it will be over and chances are HE will be the one calling it off because he's met someone younger who can give him children while you will bet getting old and starting the lovely phase of menopause

I can only imagine the damage done to your self-esteem then!

[xxazurexx]

God almighty! Can't you get a man your own age.?

[Asip4u]

As long as neither of you is looking at this long term, you're fine. If you are falling in love and all that, i would be careful because as it was already pointed out, there's a good chance he'll want someone younger later on. For now, have fun and enjoy it while it lasts.

[LailaK]

Take it with a fine grain of salt. Just have fun but don't expect any thing.

[Gigabitch]

Vashti's right. You're going to get shredded.

[Vanilla1024]

thanks to all of you..i fear i am going to get "shredded" and btw yes i can get a guy my age..this was just a fluke thing that happened. it's not quite intense and involved, i just can't do anything about it yet. i am trying to just enjoy it for what it is. once again thanks!!!

[Vanilla1024]

yes I can, it wasn't like that..if you could try not to judge, it was a chance meeting, we talked and i didn't see him again for 3 months. we did spend hours on the phone, texting, and emails.. then we met again. it's all been very umm based first on communication. i know this won't be long term, but for right now who is it hurting? age is nothing but a number. it has now been 7 months..it's still just as awesome as it was when i first started talking to him. and yes i will be the one who gets dumped and i understand that.

[hello1]

As long as your having fun. Why not? Go girl

[SirWagginston]

Gotta love the cougars.

[bhpchen94]

Yes, i think this is wrong by the time 5 or so years pass he will lose interest most likely. I think the maxium age difference is 10 years

[SapphireBerry]

I have weird thoughts like this. I like older guys because I feel they are more mature and know what they want and do not just go out looking for one thing (that is not always the case of course)

A question I asked before was quite similar to this only it was 25 and 56. I mean that is not so bad but this guy is still in his teens and I know a few 19 year olds
who are quite desperate. And as Lite said in cases like this it seems as though the younger person is going for someone older because they are seeking the love and
guidance of someone because they never got that love at home from their family. I mean sometimes it's not based entirely on that. But to be honest an older
woman and younger man seems alot more drastic and uncommon than an older guy and younger girl especially with this age difference.

Sadly, you will find that guys as they get older (depending more or less on who they are) they like to go for younger, vibrant women. And this boy seems like he could be a little confused. If he were older there wouldn't be too much of a problem but he is still a teenager and being one myself I know relationships can get quite confusing and muddled up. Mixing all this with teenage hormones is not really ideal, I advise you just be careful and do not expect the world from him he may be mature but as everyone before me said his thoughts and opinions may change when he advances 5 years. But personally, I do not have a problem with your decision as long as you love each other for now and are both happy. You never know what the future may hold for you both.

Hope this helps, Good luck

Sapphire x