is it something i'm doing wrong?

[shawn_wonders]

hi women, i'm a 17 year old guy, i have a big big problem over-analyzing things. my girlfriend, in any form of communication, be it in person, over the phone, texting, she is incredibly arrogant and critical about everything. it's getting to the point where i can't even normally talk to her because she makes an argument over everything. i'm not sure if it's the way i'm talking, but i really love her (my first love and relationship) and i would go to the end of the world and back for her, but where i live almost 200kms away, working every day, i don't get the time to go out and see her, even with my own car and money for gas. the summer's coming up and i'm going to have some time to myself. but it won't be much.

anyways back to the issue at hand this girl is really critical! and like i said i love her but i can't see it lasting if she doesn't change that. i tried taking it another way, tried ignoring it, nothing comes out of that but intense arguments... and at the end of it she accuses me of treating her like she doesn't know anything at all, that she's stupid... that i'm always right...

i don't know what to do

shawn

[Gigabitch]

Shawn, there are over three billion females on this planet. They're not all bitches like your girlfriend. Find someone else, someone worthy of going to the ends of the earth for.

[shawn_wonders]

i'm afraid of even attempting to end it, i know it's only going to end in pain on my end...

[VincenzoG91]

Fear is a lousy basis for a relationship.

[girl68]

When you grow man balls at about 21 years you'll realize how much time you wasted (yes, wasted) on this chick. I think you need cut your losses.

[shawn_wonders]

alright umm maybe i might have been a little too negative...not every phone call ends up in an argument, and i kind of take every single text message the wrong way, it sort of is more towards my fault. let me tell you a bit about her first. she's also 17, she lives 200kms away from me, has been in a few too many relationships gone bad in the past. her first couple were younger relationships, nothing important, then she was with a guy for 2 years, he lived about 10 minutes away. that ended because she didn't love him in the way that she could be with him forever (her words) and broke it off. in other words she was bored. everything was the same. the guy after that, lasted 2 months, he cheated on her with some chick that lives half a world away that he was engaged to. she was REALLY depressed for a short time after that. i actually know my girlfriend from when i used to live in her town, just didnt realize it until she wrote me up one day near her birthday.

anyways, the couple times i went to see her, everything was perfect, it was my first time cuddling with a girl, watching a movie with a girl (yeah, i'm a loser save the flaming) and making out with a girl. no, not all in the same weekend. i've been out there about 7 times now, love all her friends, she loves me, i love her, hell she even made me a sandwich once (haha) , but i mean its just texting, she is a bit uptight, and on the phone we get into a few arguments (phone calls are at night) but at the end of the night our text messages and phone calls always end with "i love you".

is all this just me overanalyzing?

[Gigabitch]

It's two people trying to have a long distance relationship, which is almost impossible (especially when one of them is a bitch).

[shawn_wonders]

long distance relationships are impossible? examples examples!

[VincenzoG91]

You can find plenty of examples in the Broken Hearts forum here.

[shawn_wonders]

You can find plenty of examples in the Broken Hearts forum here.

long distance relationships can last and do exist. i know many many examples of good ones.

oh my. i must be craaaaaazy, i always go this far and blame her. it's all my fault lol, i make it seem like shes so bad, when shes not....shes soooooooo worth it and i hope i catch myself like this every time when i overanalyze it to the point where im ready to freak out at her. i did that twice, i'm such a bad guy..............

[VincenzoG91]

She has crushed your spirit. What do your friends think about this situation?

[shawn_wonders]

She has crushed your spirit. What do your friends think about this situation?

she has done no such thing, do you understand the concept of overanalyzing?

[VincenzoG91]

Yes, I too have a tendency to over-analyze things. But when you combine your tendency to over-analyze with her tendency to criticize, you end up apologizing for her treating you like crap.

[shawn_wonders]

Yes, I too have a tendency to over-analyze things. But when you combine your tendency to over-analyze with her tendency to criticize, you end up apologizing for her treating you like crap.

i took it as her treating me like crap, but she's been through a lot of shit these past few weeks, she doesn't mean to treat me like she does. i know she doesn't. her back has been bad, x-rays and shit were done, and she cant eat without throwing up. we talk every single night before we go to bed. when she talks to me shes laughing, seems to be happy. she isn't happy in her situation, in her town. i'm going to be there for her, i love her that much. i will fight back if it goes too far, i've never had to yet. when i read a text with "..." at the end or just "No." i take that and strip it apart to the point where my conclusion is she hates me and wants to break up. yeah, i'm that bad.

i was to the point today where i had to seek outside help. if it were during a phone call, it would have most likely ended it... she said to me before when it happened twice before this and i didnt catch myself that she couldn't deal with it...i told her the extreme of the situation, that i couldnt even play video games anymore, it was interfering with school. she stayed with me, tell me she doesn't love me back when she puts up with the shit i throw at her.

sorry guys, this happens to me... i hate it. i overanalyze EVERYTHING. i'm way too young for a relationship i think, but i'm in it, i love it, i love her, and i'm going to keep going. i'm going to be happy for both of us. if thats what it takes at this moment, i'm going for it.

[VincenzoG91]

I tend to over-analyze things when I don't have enough information about a situation that is really important to me. Fortunately, there is a lot of information available online these days. And my girlfriend isn't always comfortable about volunteering information, which bothered me a lot in the past. I would sometimes obsess over something she said and reach a wrong conclusion before getting all the facts. But the communication gradually got better and I got over my trust issues.