I Lost 'The One', How Do I Get Her Back?

[ace256]

Hello all, I am 18 years old and although I shall not go into much detail - I have recently lost the best girl I could ever have dreamed for. I met her at a unique sporting event that we both do (motocross), and because girls rarely do motocross I am lucky to have found a possible partner for life in her. Not only that, we share the same, family orientated, traditional values. We also both have similar personalities and we got on so well and we were together for 7 months.

She broke it up with me 8 weeks ago, for the following reasons: "I had changed", "made her upset" etc. You get the picture! Basically, at that point in time i went through an extremely stressful time in my life and I ended up depressed, not knowing what I wanted in my life and not only did my personality, love and care for my ex girlfriend change, I also kept saying (for 1 month) that I might dump her.

Now that she has dumped me, I am lost. It's been 8 weeks and although I have come to grips with the fact she has dumped me and my head is clear now, I still am finding it very hard. So far (for the whole 8 weeks), I have been constantly texting her, ringing her, trying to see her etc. and I have just not give her ANY space whatsoever - which is what she has asked for many many times. I just find it exceptionally hard to sit back and wait. However yesterday she told me that she does still like me a little bit WHEN SHE SEE'S ME AT MOTOCROSS AND CLUB NIGHT, but in the week i let her down by constantly harrassing her over the phone etc and that is the side of me she is hating. Today, we fell out again and she went back to saying she didnt like me at all anymore - but I know deep down she does (and i knew all along, even tho she only just told me yesterday). I have found my weaknesses and kicked them out my life (that is why she is liking me again when she see's me) and i have also wrote a letter saying sorry and how it will be different next time. So she knows what I have to offer her and she knows how i am now in real life. I think it's just because i'm annoying her in the week still that she still isn't prepared to give me a 2nd chance. What do you think??

What should I do? It has been 8 weeks, i've tried asking her to meet up with me for a talk etc but she is so so stubborn and will never agree to that. So therefore I can only see her at motocross and the club night (so 2 times a week). She says she wants space, and if it helps i KNOW that she still has feelings for me - but because I annoy her so much during the week - she just tells me to piss off and she dislikes me all over again. I come across to ehr as being extremely needy and clingy though, texting her loads ever yday!!! She hates clingy. She loves my personality and when i'm with her she likes me and we get on very very well, but in the week we're always at each others throats. But I am afraid to just sit back and give her space by not contacting her at all, because she keeps saying she wants to just be friends - is this her getting her own way? Then again, I know she likes the real me. What should I do?

I do not want to be waiting around for months and months, but what should I do to win her back? How should I approach the situation now, after 8 weeks of constantly contacting her? She is my life, I need her. Thank you very much.

[Cosmo]

You don't.

You should never 'win someone back'. Right now you are afraid you will never find someone new. You literally said it in your post. She likes motocross, which is unique, she likes this and that and has the same blah blahs.

You're just afraid of not finding someone new. You will.

If you want her back then stop harassing her and let her come to you. You are pushing her away. You obviously have not played the game. Cut off contact and even only say "hey, hows it goin' when you see her around and then walk away. If she still likes you it will drive her nuts and she'll come running back. If she doesn't its not meant to be and you need to move on too.

[corporatesam]

Things to consider:

1) You're only 18 - how do you know if she's going to be what you really want?
2) People change. She may have been the girl you've ever "dreamed" of being with at one point but the reality is she may also change into a person that you don't want to be with.
3) When she said she wants space you have not given her any space. It shows that you have a lack of respect and also immaturity in you.

Don't take this personally but I think you're being quite immature about this whole situation and what you really need to do is to stop what you've been doing in the past 8 weeks and don't talk to her. I know it's hard but you must do that. If you ever want a chance of getting back with her then you must start doing what she wants and that's to give her space by not bothering her. Don't ever say to her that you've changed etc. That could mean that you're just changing yourself to suit her and that's not what a girl would want (a decent girl anyway unless they're the selfish type).

Remember, love will find you no matter who it is from. You will know when you've end up with the right woman. But right now I think it's too early to say that you have lost 'The One'.

Source: from my own experience