HELP!!! Taboo Love!!!

[MaurGuy]

Hi all,

I'm new to this Forum and I am in desperate need of advice!

I think I have fallen in love with my sister in-law and she has fallen in love with me!

We've known each other for around 18 years and ever since I started dating (now married) her sister, there's always been this rift, or invisible wall between us and we've never been able to talk or become close. Over the years, she's displayed jealousy for the relationship me and her sister has.

Anyway, recently she's changed towards me. We've started talking and we've connected on a totally different level which I never knew was possible with her. We seem to have the same moral and spiritual beliefs. I/we can sense some intense chemistry there, however, I think we both know this is "taboo" and it cannot go any further.

Lately when she sees me, she cannot be in the same room as me! At times when we are chatting, we lock eyes and go into this trans-like state and we just cannot break the intense eye contact. As much as I want to break it, I just can't. It's mesmerizing.

I care VERY deeply for my wife, however, I think I'm totally and utterly head over heels in love with her sister! HELP!!!

Thanks in advance for your advice...

[MaurGuy]

OH, in addition to the above, she is also married and her husband and I have been good friends ever since they've been married.

She recently went through a "phase" where she wanted to leave him and I can't help but think she wanted to leave him because the feelings she has for me has overwhelmed her and she can no longer be with him. Things seemed to have settled down now, but I think she's only staying with him because of the material things he gives her. I feel that this is just a temporary solution to the underlying problem!!!

I want to confront her about this and our feelings, but I am afraid! I'm afraid she'll talk to her husband about it and all hell will break loose.

She did ask me out for a drink and chat a couple weeks ago, but we never ended up meeting. Now I'm being consumed by the thought "What was it she wanted to talk to me about?".

I'm so consumed by this situation! I just don't know what to do!!!

[LINEBACKER _2]

You can let it die, or you can let her husband kick your ass.

LINEBACKER 2

[jane]

I would let her husband kick your ass if I was you. SHE'S MARRIED!!

[Illusional]

whoa..by the replies i'm guessing that you should back down. never get involved with someone that is already involved..it will only lead to more pain and problems. raverboy

[jane]

you know, I have to be honest.
I am totally attracted to my boss who is married. I know that it's worng. When I posted before I wsa tryng to convince myself that it's wrong to fall in love with someone who is married.
I guess it depends on their relationship.
I know how you feel. I have no idea what say except becareful you don't get hurt and understand that the person isn't really available?! Good luck... keep posting and let me know how it goes. I could use the advice too. Sorry for being so judgemental.

[DuckyWucky]

Nothing's wrong with being attracted to someone that's already involved. Just don't act on it! Shame on you. Let this one go.

[leight69]

There is a scene in the movie Keeping the Faith, where Ed Norton is having trouble dealing with the fact that he has fallen in love with his friend, but he has taken a vow of celibacy to the church.
The response he gets from the other priest...actually I think he was a bishop...is, that over the years one will fall in love, again and again, that is a good thing. The question remains, what you do with the feelings. The basic lesson is...

One can either either decide that these feelings are important enough to act on, or one can decide that something is more important then those feelings. (Such as Ed Norton's faith and initial promise to the church)

In this case you made a promise to your wife 18 years ago, are these new feelings for your sister-in-law more important then that promise you made? That you hold feelings for her is not of relevance, its the decision you make of what to do with them that matters.

[jane]

[

In this case you made a promise to your wife 18 years ago, are these new feelings for your sister-in-law more important then that promise you made? That you hold feelings for her is not of relevance, its the decision you make of what to do with them that matters. [/B][/QUOTE]

This is the best piece of advice I have heard in a long time! Knowing where you stand in the beginning is better then finding out in the middle~
Thanks. i hope this advice is taken

[LINEBACKER _2]

I met my friends wife for the first time this weekend. Wow, she's a bombshell. Perhaps a few naughty thoughts entered my head, but I sure as hell wouldn't act on it.

You have to stop yourself before you fall in love with the person that's involved. You can't let it advance that far. Because it's going to be one those things where either way you're screwed:

She won't love you back and he's going to beat the crap out of you.

So, I'd say stop before you really cross the line and do something really, really stupid.

LINEBACKER 2