hey dude, womans perspective here. To me, alone time, is very important. Although it must be stressed i do not go round other guys houses! I just have a nice relaxing bath, put some music on I like, have a facial, do my nails and hair etc. All these things i have tried doing with my bf there, but it just isnt the same for both of us. After advice from others on this forum i am also starting to go out more with my friends.
Despite this need for alone time however i feel how she has been spending it isnt very fair on you. I feel for you because this is a horrible situation for you to be in and you must be hurting. I have to say i kinda did this same sorta thing to my very first boyfriend. We were in high school together and started going out in the last 2 years of school (from around the ages of 16 to around 19-19) we were together for 2 years and spent all that time together without any sort of alone time for both of us.
Then all of a sudden i made these 2 new guy friends in our last year at school. I got on really well with both of them and i started going round thier houses. One was purely platonic, we were just great friends, the other however i started staying round his house and we ended up kissing and i obviously cheated on my boyfriend.
I think i used this way as a 'get-out' clause. I still cared about my boyfriend very much but felt suffocated by never having any alone time, i never knew how to tell him this because we had gone without it for so long, so i carried on this way. I think the excitment had gone.
I dont know if this is true for your gf but it just seems a very similar situation. Ive learned from this now tho and know that every person needs some alone time, to go out with friends or just chill on thier own and its important to give your partner some space.
Sorry for the load of waffle the only advice i can give is stop seeing her while she sorts herself out, it seems to me she is having the bext of both worlds, the comfort of being able to go back to you as she is comfortable round you, and the excitment of the new guy. Its harsh but cut her loose completely and she may realise the grass isnt greener on the other side and she misses you like crazy
hope this helps -xxxx-
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