husband sneaks to look at porn to much.

[Petit Papillon]

Gigabitch:
freaked out about it... i wouldnt say that. we have different values and morals. I have them and he doesnt. that pretty much sums it up. we are complete opposites in every way and that is a conflict. its not easy to find a perfect match. relationships tend to not work because those two people don't share the same morals and values.

So why, WHY OH WHY, are you married to this guy???????? You should also say that you don't love him and it would make your marriage the most nonsense marriage in the world. Do you even like that guy?
And for your info, maybe he sneaks out to watch porno ,because you overreact like you do. He just doesn't want to listen to your moaning and bitching,so he does that in a secret.

[VincenzoG91]

if your husband sneaks to look at porn do you think that is normal? my opinion i don't think thats the norm. i think that makes him a pathetic pervert. i'm a good looking woman. i'm not a obese,old, wrinkly woman so why the need for him to be such a freak?

Looking at porn is a normal guy activity. That's why magazines like Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler have been around for several decades, not the brilliant articles. That's why roughly 25% of video rentals were porn, back when the video rental business was in its prime. That's why so many websites make money off of porn. In fact, ten years ago, most of the profits to be found in online commerce were in porn, before a lot of other businesses finally found a way to adapt to online business. Face it, porn is big business, because most guys like it.

As for the other stuff, yeah, that's not normal, that's him getting ready to cheat on you.

[bluesummer]

I like how you say "We have different morals and values" and then follow up by saying "I have them and he doesn't." Just because his morals and values are different than yours it doesn't mean they are non-existent. That's basically saying that your way of looking at the world is right and his is wrong. Not true. They're just different.

I've caught my man looking at porn. Bothered me a bit at first, but I got over it because I realized it was all my own insecurity. Men are very sexual. We're not around all the time to fulfill their needs as they come up, so they find an alternative source. If it's some trashy whore in a video, I don't care, he wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole in real life.

Guess what, I look at those Craigslist ads too. Not because I'm looking for anything, but I find it so weird what people post on there. Kind of like the car wreck you can't look away from. Women post naked pics on there all the time, so maybe he's using that for jackoff material.

[RdHrshyKss]

i'm a female and i watch porn. i know for a fact that i don't watch it nearly as much as my bf does, but i still do it. if he's away with friends for the weekend and i want to pleasure myself, why the hell not! same goes to my boyfriend, if i'm away for a night and he is in the mood to release some tension in his rod, props to him. it's better him do that than cheat on me! if you aren't sexually satisfying your husband, what should stop him from looking at porn? it's the easiest solution to releasing his tension without cheating on you. porn is no biggy. i personally don't like some of the porn that's on there and that people like to watch, but that's just my preference and i'm not going to judge anyone based on their preference (as long as it isn't snuff). if my boyfriend is into some kinda crazy ass shit that scares me, then i'd have to talk to him about it and figure out if we are sexually compatible.

the whole watching porn thing is just silly and it shouldn't bother you. if it is bothering you, then you need to assess why you are so worried about it, do you have your own self-esteem issues?

the craigslist ads are probably for (1) looking at dirty pics, (2) reading the slutty things that girls write on there to turn himself on, or (3) to look for women to cheat with

regular dating websites (without sex) are a definite trigger for cheating. sex dating sites could again be just for the dirty pictures and videos on there.

i think if you were a little bit more open-minded about porn and weren't so judgmental about it, your husband probably wouldn't be resorting to it so much. but like everyone else has said, you haven't mentioned anything about your sex life that could give any of us the opportunity to make an educated statement.

[xxazurexx]

My ex husband used to watch porn, although I dont know if he was jacking off to it....lol. I'd have found it amusing if he was. But the fact he watched it, didn't bother me one bit.

My most recent ex also watched it, again it didn't bother me.

I think it's a man thing and most guys watch it. Insecure females only get pissed that men watch it IMO.

[Mish]

if your husband sneaks to look at porn do you think that is normal? my opinion i don't think thats the norm. i think that makes him a pathetic pervert. i'm a good looking woman. i'm not a obese,old, wrinkly woman so why the need for him to be such a freak?

It sounds like you are up in arms against porn because you feel jealous of those women. It's almost as if him looking at porn makes you feel obese, old and wrinkly, I think that's very unhealthy and you should look for a way of fixing that.

[cmacattack1]

I can understand where the OP is coming from, I'm sure she is looking to see if she is wasting her time in this. And looking for sex ads on Craigslist could be a gateway to cheating. Doesn't he hear about all the shady ass shit that happens on that site (murders, rapes, etc.)? I think it would be helpful to know how long they were dating/married and all that also.

She sounds like she likes to be in the driver's seat in the relationship. With the whole "I have them (morals and values), and he doesn't."

For a split second there, I thought of the girlfriend from The Hangover who was dating the dentist.

The more you freak out about it, the more sneaky he is going to be about it, and it's going to have a positive feedback kind of effect. It's just going to snowball. Maybe your approach to this situation is a bit harsh, if you scream and yell at him about how much of a pervert he is, of course he is going to fire back "I guess I am a pervert then." You can't control what he does, but you certainly can control what you do. If you think doing the same thing you are doing over and over again and expect different results to happen, you are going to drive yourself insane. I'd say if you value this relationship, I would just settle down for a talk without getting angry, emotional, and just honestly trying to listen to him. Not to "get your point across". You are going to have to communicate and listen to really learn something about him to figure things out.

[RdHrshyKss]

cmacattack, SUCH good advice

[Illusional]

you're sexy woman huh?? in whose eyes?? alright alright i was kidding, i had to say that.

however, remmeber when you married your husband?? you take the good with the bad. if you can't deal with it, atleast talk to him about it before jumping to conclusions. i'm sure there are things about you that he also doesn't like, but he has learned to deal with them. hey, i'm a sick pervert too, i love porn. i'd honestly bitch slap my girl if she ever deleted them.... i'd say that some of my ex's knew about my porn, but it never bothered them. it only bothered the insecure ones, which is why i ask you to talk to him before you jump to conclusions.

raverboy

[Illusional]

bottom line.... i'm sure that you look at handsome guys at some point in your life. but if you don't touch, then what's wrong with looking? he hasn't cheating on you imo.

raverboy

[TheTooya]

I watched porn, my gf has even suggested watching together

It doesn't sound like he is cheating. The Craigslist thing... imo could just be him looking at whats there. You need to know him as a better than to just assume Craigslist = leading to cheating. But porn? Not really cheating, sorry to dissappoint

[7sins]

I myself have looked at those craiglist, escorts and strippers sites. My mate once went to a brothel and told me that the girl there did it so she can afford unviersity. Ever since that day i cant help but think it when i meet a girl at uni.

I guess I look because im curious that mabye i might see someone there iv met before.

There is no basis to conclude that it might lead to cheating, he could just be curious.

[xxazurexx]

There is no basis to conclude that it might lead to cheating, he could just be curious.

But you don't just 'blindly trust' and hope he won't be tempted either.

As far as the viewing dating sites, she is best off keeping her eyes and ears wide open.

A cheating spouse leaves clues.

[RdHrshyKss]

i just had to add a funny lil tidbit of information. so having read this whole thread, i approached my bf last night and just casually/calmly asked him how often he watches porn and how often he masturbates. he obviously didn't feel 100% comfortable because i know guys like keeping that kinda stuff private, but he told me and i just shrugged it off like it's no big deal. then i asked him what kinda stuff he looks at when he does it. he said strictly porn...but the reason is what's hilarious. my bf is an application developer and knows A LOT about computers. so when i asked him if he went to any of those sex dating websites or craigslist he said, "no, those types of sites have tons of viruses". LOL, so i'm lucky in that my bf doesn't look at those kinda sites, but not for the right reasons, only because he doesn't want to get a computer virus lol. so if my bf wasn't a computer geek, he'd probably be checking them out too. i know there's always the possibility that it could lead to cheating, but i think most guys know that all that stuff is just fake. if a guy actually acts out on those type of cheating impulses, then it means there is a whole lot more going wrong in his relationship, and is even maybe dealing with a sex addiction.

[happyrun]

jealous of dirty skanky sluts who want everyone watching them have sex. no, that is by far not whats going on. i wish not to ever have a dirty lifestyle like those std sluts in those porno movies. theirs nothing to be jealous of. who in their right mind would want to do that for a living? also i'm a good looking woman and by far a lot better looking then many of those gross skanks in those porns. the whole debate on men with porn addictions is that those who watch that crap are going to condone it and say theirs nothing wrong with it and those who live a clean cut lifestyle like me will not condone it and will not approve of it. i am a decent person who lives a VERY clean cut lifestyle. i'm not with a a man like that and thats why its a waste of time for me to be involved with someone like that. theirs no way 99% of men are porn watchers. i 'm sure their are some decent, good men out there.