Weird behavior of my boyfriend after breakup..Please help!!!

[sherrylim]

My long distance boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because I had hidden something from him. We were best together but then it had to go because of my mistake. After breakup I tried telling him how much he means to me and everything in hope of getting him back. I even went to his country and met him up, where we had great time minus anything physical. We were to meet once but we spent 3 days together. He was quite nice and caring. After coming back he turned to his usual self and reminded we needed to move on. I was completely broken but then I decided to try no contact, since we talked every alternate days. He did come back to me every time I did the no contact and made sure I don't lose contact with him. I tried moving on but talking to him and then trying to move on was difficult. I minimised our chats and he eagerly waited for those weekends wen we would talk. I joined sportsclub, new job and changed my wardrobe. He too started flirting with his set of friends on Facebook and other nwking sites. I have the password to his account which he refuses to change. He tells me that I can access his account whenever I want. He has mine too but he hardly checks my account. Now for some times I observed that he had made some new friends and he talks very intimately to them. I felt quite hurt. He talked to those girls just like he used to talk to me. I didn't wanted to talk to him but somehow I ended up chatting with him. And he immediately realised I am not fine. So I told him that he's gone mad and should come out of his madness. As we talked further he knew what I meant and he assured he has nothing for those girls. He even said he won't talk to them or won't flirt with them. I slept and next day wen I checked I saw he didn't talk to anyone, but later I realised he did and deleted those convo's from trash bin. I have no idea why he isn't true to me. I am not his Girlfriend and this is so clear between us. I offered him that I wanna go on a month's break without talking to him and he can do whatever he wants but he gets hurt because of this. Am absolutely confused, if you guys can help? Its been more than 7 months of our break up now.

[Perryville]

What did you hide from him?

[sherrylim]

What did you hide from him?

Its a different story. We met online and he proposed me within a week, without even knowing me. I was confused for a long time coz i took an instant liking for him as well. And then he had some important things to do in his career, an important exam etc. So i just kept quite. I was all that i told him minus the pictures. When he saw my real pics he said he would have luved me more had i told him earlier. But then he broke off coz of wat i hid from him.
Later on when i met him i felt he was physically attracted to me as well, coz he did try to get close.

[Caleb]

Well, he`s not a genius, ill tell you that (who the hell would forget to empty the recycle bin in such a situation?! lol). My best guess would be that he is not being honest with you because he does not trust you and because he does not intend to rely on you. After all, you are not his girlfriend and you seem to be far from it. Think about it, a 7 months break up is indeed a long time. Perhaps long enough to be considered as an escape plan.

[sherrylim]

I actually have no problem if he wants to flirt his way out. I told him the madness thing coz from all those chats I could see he was just acting 'interested' in those girls, but he wasnt really. My problem is that if he wants to be free, why cant he let me go? The moment i tell him i wanna take a break and give him his space he gets very irritated and acts angry.

[Caleb]

He probably like`s having you around. After all, you do take pity on him and give him the benefit of the doubt. Why else would he want to stay in contact with you? But you know what I think? your thinking too much into this. I think that your baby is all grown up and is now able to go to the bathroom by himself. Meaning, I think that you are at the point where the two of you should break contact with each other. Shoot first, ask questions later. If he can`t be a man and take that first step into his independence, then you should. Kick him out. Sure, he`ll be angry, but its better being angry then being delusional. Set him free. Who knows, maybe one day he will be able to thank you for it.

[sherrylim]

Trust me i dont hold him now. I have learnt to live independent. There used to be a time wen we talked every waking hour, then every day and then every alternate day. Now its only once a week, to know how's he doing. I may cry hard one more time but i can definitely set him free. The only thing is I am afraid if i would ever get to talk to him. Will he ever talk to me? Lol darn these emotions.

[Caleb]

Emotions can be tricky, ill give ya that. But as long as he is clinging on to you, he is not free. I am afraid that there is no going around this, you must be the one that ends the relationship with him. He can`t do it. I know its hard, but I think that you must give him back his nut sack, you have to ignore his wishes. Look, I don`t know if he will want to talk to you after you end this ordeal. Though he probably will want too because I don`t think that he will let go easily. bUT Don`t worry, I am sure that as time passes by the both of you will meet new people and regard each other as a memory. Think about it this way: Some people in life are meant to be there in order for them to not be there in the end of the day. Its a little tricky, I know. But its natural.

[xxazurexx]

He wanted to marry you and within a week of chatting and before you had even met?

But he was actually proposing to a 'fake' pic and because the pics you showed him were not you?

Every good reason why you should NEVER take anyone seriously online folks. Not least till you have met in the 'real' world anyway.

[Caleb]

Every good reason why you should NEVER take anyone seriously online folks. Not least till you have met in the 'real' world anyway.

Amen to that!