What am i doing wrong?

[(man)]

My girlfriend and I are both in our early 20's and have been dating for about 5 years. Basically she is not one bit interested in sex with me anymore. We used to have great sex all the time, but I think in the last 6 months we've done it twice. Its got to the point that when we do have sex I'm not allowed to actually do anything, same old thing, me ontop till she comes then pull out because im not allowed to actually come inside her anymore.

I tried my luck last week and she said to quote "no chance" in a sharpe tone. When I tried to talk to her about it she turns it on me and says there is more to a relationship than sex, which is very true, but as I said I don't have sex with her for no reason, I do it because I enjoy having it with her. Basically she says shes never horny, but I find it hard to believe that a girl 22 years of age is content with 2 orgasms in 6 months. She says she dosen't masterbate too, but im beginning to find this hard to believe.

I don't understand what Im doing wrong. I do everything for her, I have a great job and look after her very well. I always give her massages virtually every night and I never get anything in return. I've no idea what I'm doing wrong, I've been training a lot lately and I'm far fitter now than when we started going out. Is there a problem here or is it just me?

[girl68]

Some girls really don't have any drive.

What is more worrisome is that she won't talk about, won't even attempt to work on it, and makes you feel like an asshole for wanting it. That should be a HUGE red flag.

There more to a relationship than sex, very true but without it you don't have a relationship.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed with girl. Her lack of a sex drive would make me wonder if she's getting it elsewhere too.

[(man)]

Your right she won't even make an attempt to work on it, I planned for her to stay at mine tonight and get an early night with her. Phoned me up after work and said shes not coming out to me. Its got to the point that Im not even gonna bother anymore, Ive actually got used to getting nothing, I went 6 weeks without coming not that long ago, do you know how hard that is for a man! lol it actually affects your everyday life after week 2!

[girl68]

Umm so dump her?

[(man)]

Like i said outside sex we have a great relationship and do almost everything together. I dont want to make her sound like a bad person, but when it comes to sex its just not happening anymore. Don't know what to do, I really don't want to lose her, and I wouldn't cheat, but i just feel like im missing out on my best years!

[xxazurexx]

If regular sex was important to you, you'd dump her.

Obviously you are not prepared to do anything about it.....I think you are here to whinge and for whingings sake.

[lahnnabell]

What do you expect to do then? Sounds like you're going to suffer in silence until you get so fed up that you cheat on her, or leave her altogether. This girl has shown ZERO interest in changing her ways, and quite frankly, there is nothing you can do that will make her change. She has to want to.

[workoutgirl1970]

It could be hormonal. Has she talked to her gynecologist?

[xxazurexx]

^^Obviously he is prepared to suffer in silence and do nothing about it and because he doesn't want to lose her or cheat on her.... so IMO the sex can't be 'that' important and if he's prepared to stick around for her other qualities.

For a relationship to work OP, you need to be compatible on all levels....sexually included.

Sex isn't everything and if both of you didn't care about having sex, then yes it would work.

When one does want sex and the other is a 'dead' fish, it won't work and in the long run.

[(man)]

Nope I think your right, shes not going to change, you can see it and i can see it. I'll just tell her if shes not interested in me she should move on.

[girl68]

If you use that approach it will fail you big time. Ask her if she's interested in working on it, talking about it, and getting help (if she needs it). If she makes any excuse at all why she should NOT work on it or change, YOU need to move on, not her.

[xxazurexx]

^^Don't be surprised if she becomes suddenly interested in sex again when you tell her that.

I also think that some females can become too comfortable in relationships and when they bag a man, assume that they no longer have to work and to keep him.

[(man)]

I dont want a girlfriend who has sex to keep her boyfriend, I want a girlfriend who has sex because she wants to. If I were to finish with her over sex I would be called shallow by other girls. I just don't understand how you's work!

[lahnnabell]

Girls like yours give the rest of us good ladies a bad rep. Don't let your experience with her sour your opinion of women. She's not the norm.