Can a Man truly be loyal?

[Kelsey777]

I understand. Im sorry, I dont mean to generalize about men. Its hard for me to trust my judgement, because my father cheated on my mother a lot...and my father basically taught me that if Im not super hot then I dont matter. He always criticized my appearance and stuff over the years. So Im kinda hot wired to be untrusting. Women are no better than men for infidelity. I just want to sort out my insecurities and see whats in my head and what isnt. Thank you for your advice.
That's a shame what that girl did. If a guy did that for me, I definitely would not call him too nice.

[Mish]

I know women are guilty of cheating on men as well

Women guilty of cheating? No, those were clearly lies spread by men. How can men be truly loyal? Listen to yourself. After all, they are men. Cheating is all you hear about these days, so it clearly must be the case with 100% of the cases. Stay single for the rest of your life, then the cheating will definitely never happen.

[Kelsey777]

He in AA (or something like it for addicts?)

no hes been off heroine for 5 years tho

[Kelsey777]

Women guilty of cheating? No, those were clearly lies spread by men. How can men be truly loyal? Listen to yourself. After all, they are men. Cheating is all you hear about these days, so it clearly must be the case with 100% of the cases. Stay single for the rest of your life, then the cheating will definitely never happen.

Lol. haha, I guess it wouldn't be 100 percent of the cases. Sometimes, I just wish that a persons intentions were stamped clear as day on their foreheads, "Won't cheat," or "Will f*ck everything that moves). I guess I just get scared.

[Gribble]

I was watching something on TV the other day. It was some sort of reality TV garbage. Anyway, they showed a picture of this absolutely gorgeous woman. Breathtaking. The kind of woman you want to marry just so you can lock that shit down. Unfortunately, that picture was twenty years old. At 40 she was overweight, her hair was a tangled mess, her skin of blotchy and gross and she was wrinkled.

Now before anyone gets on my case, I've encountered some truly gorgeous older women. Women who in their forties put college chicks to shame. That said, I tried to imagine what it would be like to marry this amazing woman and then watch her turn into such an unappealing old woman. How can a man remain faithful? How can a man even want to have sex with her? I'm even less inclined to get married than ever before from seeing that. I envision myself growing bored and frustrated with a bride who still looks as beautiful as the day we married. How the hell would I feel about someone like that? Small wonder escort agencies thrive.

[sookie6]

Well I think it is possible of course for men to remain faithful for a lifetime

BUT they need a lot of attention ( sex, food, listening to them, caring for them) + you need to remain attractive (men are visual so...)

And these 2 things are not so easy to sustain when life gets busy with work and children...

Actually us woman have fought to obtain the rights to have a career but jeez...we have added to our already burdened schedule in life...and yes very often relationships suffer from this...

I never took seriously the fact that men are and always will be big children but they seem to be...

They love being pampered, well fed and complimented all the time (and yes women do too but to a lesser extent)...and believe you me men who are used to this special treatment will think twice before they leave you!

[Mish]

Lol. haha, I guess it wouldn't be 100 percent of the cases. Sometimes, I just wish that a persons intentions were stamped clear as day on their foreheads, "Won't cheat," or "Will f*ck everything that moves). I guess I just get scared.

I find that people's intentions are pretty obvious most of the time. The way I see it there are people who will always cheat and there are others who never will (both men and women). There are those in between, but they are much rarer to find than the first two. You just need to ask the right questions and then judge their responses to find out which one is which. For example one of my ex's told me once "women wouldn't cheat if men didn't mistreat them", you can straight away tell which mind set she is coming from (i.e. it's okay to cheat if you are mistreated. What is mistreatment? That's open to interpretation). Avoid the ones with a cheating mindset and life will be a lot easier.

Another way to determine is by studying a person's ethics and cultural norms. Some people will never cheat because of strong personal values, others because of cultural or Religious norms. Once again you can ask questions and judge the response.

[xxazurexx]

ou just need to ask the right questions and then judge their responses to find out which one is which.

Agree with this.

All you need do is pretty much ask a few questions and the answers can reveal a lot.

How did he treat his exes? Were his past relationships 'long' or 'short' term? Why did they end?...etc, etc...

My ex husband was married before me. His first wife divorced him and one of the reasons she had listed for divorcing, were that he had cheated on her.

I thought that it would be different with us however and that he'd never go on to cheat me. Because while his ex wife had claimed he'd cheated, he would say to me that he'd never cheated, he hated cheaters and said he'd never cheat. He could remember his dad crying every night and when his mum left for another man.
His mums second partner went on to cheat on her and nobody was more angry about it, than my ex husband...

Sure enough though and six years into our marriage....yep, he cheated.

So if I'd taken notice of his wifes reasons for the divorce (why would she have lied after all in regard to his cheating), then I could have avoided this CHEATER!

[TheTooya]

I am glad to say I am faithful to every person I have been with, but...

When I look at cheating, I always go back to my moms story. She brought me up as a single mother, and dated many guys. The reason why I say many is... they almost all (bar two or three out of 20 or so) were cheaters. My mom had an instinct that she thought her man was cheating on her, and she would check crazy places. At the time it never made sense, but... she was able to catch them, in the act at times too.........

Point is, yes, guys and girls can be both known to cheat, but like Mish pointed out, its still detectable.

[alexa]

I guess some men can and are faithful but but certainly not all. But women are? I love I share I am faithful without conditions and rules if he want to cheat me he is free to go but there is no way back.

[girl68]

no hes been off heroine for 5 years tho

You do realize that quitting is only half the battle, and that now he has to cure his mind. I'd be willing to bet that he still acts like an addict 90% of the time he's just not using currently.

[Kelsey777]

You do realize that quitting is only half the battle, and that now he has to cure his mind. I'd be willing to bet that he still acts like an addict 90% of the time he's just not using currently.

well hes not friends with any of the people from then anymore, and he comes over every night. He likes going on hikes and walks when we have time together, because he enjoys nature. I don't really know what an addict acts like when he or she is not using. He don't go to bars or anything. He don't drink. I guess I get scared of the idea of infidelity, because if he plays musical gigs...he is extremely attractive, and I think women would throw themselves at him.

[Incognito]

If he's been avoiding bars as part of his efforts to stay clean I somehow doubt that playing gigs at bars where drinking and drug dealing/abuse happens is a good idea.

[girl68]

well hes not friends with any of the people from then anymore, and he comes over every night. He likes going on hikes and walks when we have time together, because he enjoys nature. I don't really know what an addict acts like when he or she is not using. He don't go to bars or anything. He don't drink. I guess I get scared of the idea of infidelity, because if he plays musical gigs...he is extremely attractive, and I think women would throw themselves at him.

Sweetie you're incredibly naive. They act incredibly selfish, they are hard to talk to, very stubborn yadda yadda yadda. Almost everything you wrote has nothing to do with not being or acting like an addict. He needs AA.

[Kelsey777]

I'll ask him if he wants to do that. I never mentioned it, because he was off heroin a couple years before he met me. When he met me he confessed that to me. So far it has been five years hes been clean.