He left me... again.

[Butter]

Boyfriend had left me for the second time. The first time, he just broke up with me out of the blue. I was devastated when he left. I tried my best to convince him to stay but he left anyway. I built myself up again for 4 months. Just when things had gotten better, I contacted him and asked for us to meet up. We met and we got back together. I was the one who thought of us getting back. I did my best to be the best girlfriend. I understood the times he was late. I was the one who texted and called first. In fact, he never called me. All of a sudden, he stopped answering my calls and texts. He just left. Just like that. I figured he doesn't want me anymore. I am not as miserable as the first time he left me, though. Before, I used to think that maybe I wasn't treating him right. Now, I can definitely say that I'm not the one who messed up. Yes, I was too needy but he's the first and only guy I've gotten serious with. kissed,and pretty much done everything with. We were together for a year. I was new my senior year and he was my only friend. I need some advice. I'm 18. I'm young, right? I'm gonna be okay, right? I'm not gonna do the things i did the first time he left me. I'm not even gonna try to get revenge. I just need to be assured that I'm gonna be okay and that there's someone out there for me. I just need to feel better. please. help me. thanks.

[ftm]

You are 18. You are REALLY young. There are billions of men out there, and just as many different ways for you to grow and change and be ready for your next relationship. At the end of any intimate relationship, it's common to feel like it's "the end" and that you'll never get another shot. I can't even tell you how many different things are in your future. I don't know the details of your relationship: who did what who said what to whom. But I do know that relationships end and new ones begin. This is the nature of our lives.

Frankly, given what you say in your post, it seems to me that you already know everything I've written above, and that you just need some person to nod their head and confirm it. I confirm.

[Gigabitch]

It feels terrible to be blown off like that. What he's done is very wrong and irresponsible. You'll find someone who treats you better, even if it's just common courtesy, and you'll be proud of yourself for holding your head up like this right now.

Keep giving yourself the respect he won't give you. You know you deserve it.

[Cloud206]

Yep, don't give up hope

[Butter]

Thank you. Is love really like that, though? Tell me, are stories like 'being with your one and only' not real? I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with one guy, like my mom and like other people. I don't know much about love and I need advice from the experienced.

[xxazurexx]

^^Life for the majority is not like that and even though there are people who remained with and still are with their first love, it is rare that young love lasts and stands the test of time.

You will go on to meet other guys and form new relationships, as the majority did and do.

Just because he is your first, doesn't mean he has to be your only and he won't be your 'only' if he doesnt want to be.

[Gigabitch]

That almost never happens. I'm so glad I am not stuck for life with my high school boyfriend. The man I'm with now is the right guy for me, and I didn't meet him until I was 25. I've had MANY relationships, and I've learned something from every one of them. I bring all of that to my marriage now and I have so much more to offer as a wife than I would have if I'd just been with the same guy all this time.

You're so lucky he left you, actually. You wouldn't want to have to stay with someone who treats you like that. Hold out for Mr. Right (but accept the fact that you'll probably date many Mr. Wrongs before you find him).

[ftm]

Thank you. Is love really like that, though? Tell me, are stories like 'being with your one and only' not real? I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with one guy, like my mom and like other people. I don't know much about love and I need advice from the experienced.

Someone can be your "one and only" for a time and then later cease to be. Having the relationship fade and disappear does not render the feelings you had invalid or any less significant. A love doesn't have to last forever in order to be "true."

Movies, TV and books have given us all an idea that there is one magical person out there who is your "true love," and it is your appointed task to seek them out, secure their place in your life, and then live happily ever after. There can be many true loves, and many "happily ever afters," and they can all be good, and worthwhile, and memorable, and cherished for what they were, WHEN they were.

It's not unreasonable to want to spend the rest of your life with one guy. We all want that. But you may not find that onee guy until you are 25, or 35, or 50, and that's OKAY.

[Alvy]

Just because you may want to spend the rest of your life with one guy doesn't mean he'll want the same thing. Heck, most young males are pigs nowadays. They'd rather party, drink and bang as many girls as possible than doing something actually productive. There's about a million other more useful things you can do at your age than trying to find 'love'. Just focus on doing the things you like and stop worrying about finding your one and only.