she left me and took my son

[Gigabitch]

You don't need that kind of comfort. You need a reality check. You are just starting to see the REAL person she is, and it's not pretty. Stop looking at her through your own denial. She's a jerk. You married a jerk.

[brownowl90]

never been married, but i do see what your saying! if she is that person i worry for my son cause all he is ever going to do is be dragged from one place to the next, from one man to the next, she left home at 15 and lived in about 15 different houses in the last 10 years, i was her chance to stop that running, maybe shes in search of a happiness that doesnt exist?? maybe the fact her father n siblings left her with her mum all those years ago has seriously inbalanced her, she will inflict these issues on my boy!

[Gigabitch]

Because you're in GB, you don't really have any rights to custody, do you? Here, you might have a case to get full custody yourself if she doesn't provide the boy with a good home.

[brownowl90]

nope, without real proof or reason the mother is always the winner in the UK and are also paid lots of money in benefits which means they end up better off than they would be working full time!

[xxazurexx]

.....cant believe that the person that 2 weeks before was still talkin about new houses and marraige had already left the relationship

My ex husband was telling me one night, that he loved me and we'd been arranging our summer holiday.
Next morning, he walked out and to be with another woman.....

Not everything is what it seems.

as for her seeing someone else, she has been seeing D for 6 weeks about 4 months after she left, wether that was the truth ill never know but she assures me it was,

Gimme a break. He was likely the reason that prompted her to leave. She's hardly likely to tell you the truth is she? At same time and when they up and leave for someone else, then you can pretty much guarantee that in their minds, your relationship is over. She wouldn't have left easily for him and if she'd still loved you and still been in your relationship.

[xxazurexx]

nope, without real proof or reason the mother is always the winner in the UK and are also paid lots of money in benefits which means they end up better off than they would be working full time!

Yeah well, all that will change....the Tories will see to that and these sponging mothers will have to work!

You could still get rights and access to the child. Have you even been to a solicitor and to be advised of your rights?

[brownowl90]

i do get access, i get him friday - monday every other week and im sure if i asked for more inbetween she would allow this to facilitate her drinking and socialising!

[xxazurexx]

^^Thing is, there is nothing you can do. She is free to do what she pleases and ya gotta just sit back and accept that and live with it.

You are are gonna be f**king pissed off and angry and for a long time to come, that is natural.

I think the best thing to do, is to just let her get on with it and get on with your life in the best way you know how. Sitting around and moping does no good, other than to give you more time and to think.

I know that is the attitude I took anyway. Let him get on with it and meantime I got on with my life as hard as it was, but I didn't have much choice.

Start living your life again and let her see that you can live it quite happily and without her. That you don't need her and in order to be happy again.

Even if you have to 'fake' it.....never let her see you unhappy.

That is the best revenge.

[brownowl90]

Major development this morning!!!! i need serious help, cant take much more, she called today and i thought it was time to b civil, we talked ok for ten minutes about our son, then i made the stupid mistake of asking her if she loved D, she admitted she did, i tortured myself and asked if she loved him like she loved me, she just said it was different, she said she had loved me but it faded away and she had known D since they were kids and they get on different. i for some reason asked if they had sex like we used to, that led to 2 unexpected bombshells.
1. she is still bleeding from the birth of our son, brown blood clots and is due back to the doctors for a second smear test???? 1 year after his birth, its been constant with only short intervals! so she said no we dont really have much of a sex life!
so how does she know she loves him if they aint even had sex???
2. they had had sex before she even met me, so the friend who had been like a brother when they were growing up was actually also a old f*ck buddy???

so i said u did leave for him, still she insisted not and that though she had always had a thing with D it had only started into a relationship 6 weeks ago when she told me. she had loved me but in the end we just didnt get on we clashed? i said its not fair on our son to bring men in and out of her life, she insited that she thought D was forever? my world is shattered, im at work and have been sick and cant breathe!
she cant have loved me and then just love someone else within months, wtf is going on, why why why

[Gigabitch]

she cant have loved me and then just love someone else within months

Exactly. Remember this.

[brownowl90]

but she still says that she did, she certainly acted like she did, do you think she loves this new guy or its just her playing at it again?

[Gigabitch]

but she still says that she did, she certainly acted like she did, do you think she loves this new guy or its just her playing at it again?

Who cares what her motivations are? Stop investing yourself in her drama.

[brownowl90]

i create a lot of drama to be fair, if i just let her be and only conversed about our son i think she would be happy and just get on with her life, i really do feel like ending it all rather than facing the reality, my kids are only things that will keep me going through the night

[Gigabitch]

Sounds like you're really hitting the bottom. Do you think you used to rely on the emotional high you got from her to stay afloat?

[brownowl90]

i think i loved her, invested my life in her, built my dreams around her, planned my future with her and now shes gone and not only that shes having my happy ending with someone else!