GF Cleaning Your House...yay or nay?

[QueenofCorona]

I've mentioned before that my bf is a full time single dad to 2 girls, so he's a busy man. He also works full time and both him and the girls have activities and commitments outside of the house that keep them busy.

Right now his bathroom is gross. I have Friday off and want to either offer to clean it or just clean it when he's at work. My intentions aren't "You are a nasty, lazy, pig," but more so, "You do lots of nice things for me, let me help you." I'm happy to help him out. I bought some fun cleaning supplies (yeah thats strange but I kind of like cleaning) and didn't spend a fortune. I'm moving in with him in a few months so whatever, its an investment the toiletbrush and whatnot.

I just don't want him to feel embarassed if I do this. I mean I'm there every weekend and use the bathroom too so I'm part of the problem, another set of girls hair shedding on the bathroom floors.

Guys, what are your thoughts?

[Cloud206]

It's a great idea, he should apreciate you.

[Incognito]

I would just go ahead and do it. That way if he does get upset you can always say "I just wanted to help you out". It might also help if the bathroom isn't the only thing you cleaned, so that it doesn't look like you're zeroing in on his disaster of a bathroom. LOL

When I first started going out with my then girlfriend (now wife) her house was a mess, mostly because she had a full time job and was a single parent. I like to cook, so the kitchen caught my eye. I was disgusted, but I didn't say it. One day she was cleaning the house, I came over, asked where the cleaning supplies were and started cleaning with her. Another day she went out with her sister, so I came over and tackled the kitchen. It hadn't been properly cleaned in years. I cleaned everything and even sorted all of the decades old bowls, cups and such that were in the cabinets (she was renting her mom's old house). I even managed to get the half inch of grease off of the oven range Yay me. She appreciated my efforts and never discouraged me from helping.

[Gigabitch]

I know you posted this in the man section, but I can't hold this in: BE CAREFUL. You are setting a precedent where you clean for him even though he's perfectly able to afford a cleaning person to come in and help him. You don't even live there yet, but by the time you move in at the end of the summer, you'll already be expected to do the cleaning. All of it. It's my understanding that he is expecting you to pay your share, regardless of how little you make compared to what he makes. He will ALWAYS be able to play the Busy Guy card because he has the kids. You know what? That's not your problem. I sincerely doubt he's busier than me, and my bathroom gets cleaned. He just has different priorities.

Unless you have a cleaning fetish, you'd better think this through to the worst case scenario before you put on your rubber gloves.

[doppelgaenger]

Tell him that the apartment needs to be cleaned. Try to establish some kind of cleaning agenda.

My gf and I split the chores.

[Junket]

Giga makes some good points.

I would wait until you move in, and you two should sit down and really discuss what you both envision what the living dynamics will be.

It's much easier to live with roommates when everyone sits down and shares their expectations so that all can come to clear compromises.

[Charlie Boy II]

I bought some fun cleaning supplies

LOL

I think it's a great idea. When your girlfriend does something like that, it kind of makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It's kind of a feeling of being looked after, similar to the feeling I imagine women get if they feel like they're being protected.

[girl68]

No shit Giga! I did this very thing from that day on the bathroom duty is ALWAYS mine. Granted he helps out with other cleaning but he will never, no matter how nasty it gets will he clean it. That's an excellent point.

[QueenofCorona]

LOL

I think it's a great idea. When your girlfriend does something like that, it kind of makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It's kind of a feeling of being looked after, similar to the feeling I imagine women get if they feel like they're being protected.

Thank you.

I do see the others point though. His bathroom usually looks pretty decent but he'd been away for over a week and has been getting back on schedule with the girls and of course spending time with me. I'm the same way, when he's around I don't really clean my house unless we're having people over for a party or something.

Now, I'm not saying I LOVE cleaning bathrooms, I just think its something he'd appreciate. Especially since his parents are back in town and I'm sure will be dropping in he'd just appreciate the extra help.

I will feel out the situation and see what happens.

[Mish]

Guys, what are your thoughts?

I think it's a good idea, but becareful. When I shared accommodation and my friend's gf decided to do some cleaning, she did that by throwing away half of our stuff without asking any of us. She was then surprised we were angry at her, she said she only wanted to do something nice, we told her that we liked her better when she didn't.

[QueenofCorona]

Mish, for sure. Got ya there. No throwing anything other than garbage out cuz I'd choke him if he threw stuff of mine out

My plan of attack is really only to:

empty the trash
shake out the rugs
sweep and mop the floor
wipe up the countertop
put the blue tablets in the toilet tank and scrub the bowl
spray the joint down with some Febreeze

[dewilliams2]

Do it...he will appreciate it. I would.

I mean if he is as good of a guy as you say he is then he will as well and I'm sure he does and will continue to do things for you as well.

[QueenofCorona]

Right, thats just it. He bought me a 50" plasma HD TV for the heck of it. In no way do I just expect those kinds of extravagant gifts because of it going forward. Actually I had an old lady tube tv and he didn't want to have to move it when I moved to the duplex but on his trip he brought me back a jar of rhubarb jam which I love.We like doing little things for eachother when we can, seriously I was at Wal Mart and noticed this caramel (his fav) scented Febreeze spray and wanted to pick it up for him but thought it would be an odd gift then I thought shoot, his bathroom is kinda wrecked right now. May as well clean it too.

[dewilliams2]

Right, thats just it. He bought me a 50" plasma HD TV for the heck of it. In no way do I just expect those kinds of extravagant gifts because of it going forward. Actually I had an old lady tube tv and he didn't want to have to move it when I moved to the duplex but on his trip he brought me back a jar of rhubarb jam which I love.We like doing little things for eachother when we can, seriously I was at Wal Mart and noticed this caramel (his fav) scented Febreeze spray and wanted to pick it up for him but thought it would be an odd gift then I thought shoot, his bathroom is kinda wrecked right now. May as well clean it too.

I think a couple is supposed to take care of each other and do little things like that for each other. It should go two ways and it sounds like you have that....clean the bathroom and make it smell delicious....he will appreciate it...I'm sure of it.

[vashti]

L ike Giga, I'd be REALLY careful about this. I've see this sort of situation go bad many, many times before. What you start out doing as an act of generosity quickly becomes an expected chore, and one that never gets noticed or appreciated later on. If I actually felt protected by a man as often as the bathroom needed cleaning, it might be a fair trade, but unless you are living in South Central LA, that probably isn't the case. You are setting yourself up to look like a mommy, which is okay for some people, I guess, but I'd rather not put the cart before the horse.