Is he serious, or is he messing with my emotions?

[warriormaiden]

Me and my boyfriend have been in splitsville for about 6 months now.

We were together for two years and the last year of our relationship was pretty much nonexistent. But we continued on with the sham of being girlfriend and boyfriend. I now feel like, he wanted to prove me wrong and so PRETEND that everything was going ok. Which, it wasn't even close to it.

When he told me that he had kissed another girl and was planning on sleeping with her later that week, in such an arrogant manner (it was almost like he was talking to one of his guys. Like, 'heeheehee, well you know. I get down with the laaaadies.' *raises brow* ) I stopped all forms of communication and didn't see him or talk to him for five months.

Just recently we've kinda got back in to contact, only because he sent me a really long email expressing how hurt he felt about how I had suddenly left him, and that he wasn't trying to push me away, and that he had missed me and that he loved me and blah blah blah. *rolls eyes* I just felt like he wanted me because the sex is great.
He can be two totally different people at times. Like, on a saturday he's all affectionate and kissing and hugging and touching. But during the week, he's moody, he's distant, he's rude to me. (like, I was taking him out for dinner one Wednesday night, and I had gotten all dolled up for him. And usually he compliments me. So when I asked him why didn't he say anything he just looked at me and said, 'if you came out in a bikini THEN I would have said something.)
I just can't go on this emotional roller coaster.

Then today, I saw him. And he was like, I haven't seen you in awhile because of work, and I've missed you like crazy, I need to make more time for you, I love you, don't you love me? I wish I could go to Germany with you this summer, on and on.

I have actually, FINALLY gotten over my feelings with him. Lol, it's kinda funny, because it was another guy who helped me to forget about him. But now he comes back and says all this, and it's just......what does he want from me? One minute he's pushing me away, the next he's pulling me back. Is he afraid or something?

Either way, I have not the time.

[lahnnabell]

He wants to have his cake and eat it too. The only reason he even told you about this other chick was to get a reaction from you. So, you went silent. Good move, but you didn't keep with it. Now he's back to his old games of making promises, but not keeping them. He hasn't changed, and it's probably going to take some more time before he realizes that he's acting like a douche.

If you keep feeding him your attention, he'll see a reason to continue these games. He's incredibly affectionate when he wants something, but if he's got other plans, you fall by the wayside. You're not a priority to him. Realize this, cut ties, and move on. Verbalize it to him if you have to, but that's probably only going to give him a chance to throw another sob story at you. Best to just go silent, and let him think about it for a long, long while. By the time he realizes what he's done, you'll be over him.

[xxazurexx]

Gawd knows, but I had an ex similar and recently.Totally liked to f**k with my mind and kept on coming back time and time and time and time again. I couldn't figure it out either.

Only way to stop it, is to end it and just stop talking to them. Then they don't get chance to play constant headf**k games.

[warriormaiden]

Thanks guys.

I'm just tired of feeling so USED. Like, a whore in a brothel. And when I would try and explain this to him, he would be like, 'no, I love you! You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now have I told you how spectacular the twins look today? ' Seriously. He would constantly go on about my body, and it just made me feel dirty. He makes me feel so worthless sometimes.

[lovesjoyajm]

He makes me feel so worthless sometimes.

If he makes you feel like this, then HE'S worthless. I want to punch him. Stop talking to him - you are encouraging him.

[Mish]

I have actually, FINALLY gotten over my feelings with him. Lol, it's kinda funny, because it was another guy who helped me to forget about him. But now he comes back and says all this, and it's just......what does he want from me? One minute he's pushing me away, the next he's pulling me back. Is he afraid or something?

Honestly, I think it's less about him and more about you. Didn't you say you cut all contact with him? Why then do you take him back? You are sending wrong messages to him. You are communicating to him that with some kind of move he still has a shot and so naturally he's going for it. You need to be communicating that when something's over, it's over and there's no going back, when he knows this he will stop and you won't have this problem on your hands any more.

[cmacattack1]

I'm sure he still has a little piece of you snared, otherwise you wouldn't be asking these questions. You know the only reason he is doing this is because he feels like he doesn't have you anymore. That's when it's back to trying hard and trying to get you again. Lahanna is right though, as soon as he had you back, you'd be dragged through the mud and spit out the poop shute. Sorry for the visuals.

If he was really secure with himself, and really didn't need you in his life, you wouldn't be hearing from him, he'd understand that what he is doing is selfish and just bringing you more hurt by popping back up in your life. Of course, he doesn't have the self awareness and he personally doesn't care about how you feel. Only about him. Him him him.

You already analyzed the relationship, you know his M.O., you know that you are unhappy when you are with him. It's quite obvious he hasn't changed, because if he had, he wouldn't be jumping up and down in front of you doing jumping jacks like he is right now trying to get your attention. Let's not revisit the past and if you are still talking to him, please don't.

You don't work with him do you? How does he keep popping up?

[darrick111]

Speaking as a man, and knowing how we are, do yourself the biggest favor of your LIFE and dump the douche bag. Don't allow any contact AT ALL and live the life you want. There are good guys out there who will make you their queen and take you higher than you thought imaginable. Do it for every woman who doesn't think she can find someone better and let them know that EVERYONE deserves the best! Go get 'em.

[Cloud206]

He might be really interested in getting back,remember that you don't really know how much you love a person until you lose her/him.Have a real conversation with him about this.

[xxazurexx]

^^But he hasn't lost her and to know if he'd really miss her.

He knows he can go back as and when he pleases, therefore no incentive to change his ways.