really sucks

[dewilliams2]

Had a good time last night. Everything went well and Ashley seemed to totally understand where I was coming from.

[dewilliams2]

Me and Ashley are going out again tonight...we are both off work so we are gonna do some bar hopping.

The weird thing is she really seems to be pursuing me....she is definitely confident in herself which is cool. But she always seems about a step ahead of me.

Like she was the one who asked for my number the other night. I was going to ask her but I thought I'd wait a few more minutes and next thing I know she asked for mine.

And it is like that with everything. I mean its cool I suppose...most women wait for me to take the lead but she does not. Its actually kinda nice to meet a woman who doesn't want to play games.

[lahnnabell]

Don't let her pull you in a direction you're not ready for though. Sounds like she's rather aggressive, and while that's good, she also may need a reminder of where you're at right now.

I'm sure she's hoping in some way that she can distract you from the pain of your break-up, especially if she's that interested in you. But you've been upfront with her so far about your situation, so that's a good first step followed by a good second step with some quality time Have fun!

[cmacattack1]

Already on to the next one?

You go, daddy.

[bloodtippedrose]

Actually I ****ed up the other times. When I am in an argument I have a tendency to stay calm yet at the same time I have such a large vocabulary that I can basically say "**** you" without actually saying it and many times it is far more hurtful than just saying it. I am very good with words. I did finally learn though that it is best to just shut my damn mouth because usually it isn't that big of a deal...like one time....I used the "nice towel"...thats what a fight was over...and I did and we got in an argument over something stupid that blew up huge because I had to have the last word. The correct thing for me to have done would to have just said "sorry"...I have learned a lot and even though I've always been a cool tempered guy I have learned to calm it even further and I have learned to pick my battles.

So for all her faults...the break-ups were my fault. While I never called her a bad name the way with which I can use words...I said things much worse.
.

Stop defending her, the fact is that fighting all the time over stupid little things (a towel, really? worst case scenario is if there was grease or oil involved and even still it would cost you a max of 9 dollars to get it replaced..) is not a healthy relationship.

[dewilliams2]

Stop defending her, the fact is that fighting all the time over stupid little things (a towel, really? worst case scenario is if there was grease or oil involved and even still it would cost you a max of 9 dollars to get it replaced..) is not a healthy relationship.

Its not defending her to point out that shit came from both sides and I'm not innocent....yea it was a stupid fight but surely you know how stupid fights can blow up into big ones.

[dewilliams2]

So I ended up not going out with Ashley tonight. Basically she had a family thing so it was totally understandable. We are going to a concert this weekend...but it would have made me feel better to see her.

I've been doin okay...havin ups and downs. Right now is a down. I didn't work today so its been the first day I've had the whole day to think about things.

I have been talking to Desiree some through texts and I even met up with her for about 20 minutes the other day to talk some shit over. Basically she said she hated for everything to end like this and at least wanted to stay friends since we had known each other for so long.

I thought maybe I would get to see ari a little bit and even if I wasn't her father it would give me an opportunity to watch her grow up, at least from a distance. So I told her it was going to take me awhile to get over the anger but that I would try the whole friend thing.

Well there was one other thing I did not get from her place. Its not a big deal. Its the cable for my 360. I wanted to play some madden and couldn't hook it up to my tv. She forgot to pack it up with the rest of my stuff. So like two days ago I told her I would really like it back as well. She said she was having a party for her friend at her house starting at 6 and it was all girls but I could get it before the party. Well it was like 5 at the time so I told her "no worries, I'll pass." To which she commented "don't bitch at me when I give you opportunities to get your things." Now I'm still a little pissed and this sent me over the edge and I did say some stuff to her that was not very nice. But she deserved all of it and I still said all of it without cussing or calling her any names.

So that was two days ago. Yesterday I asked if she wanted to try and fix shit (as friends) or not. Keep in mind I have Ari I'm thinking about here. She tells me that she just wants to be friends and wants me to be happy because she is happy and doesn't understand why I am not happy for her.

This continues to piss me off. I told her that I really want nothing to do with her anymore. The thought of being with her turns my stomach. She is not the type of woman I thought she was. Even being friends is something I will struggle to do. But with that said she should expect that I am now going to treat her like a friend and not like a gf. I am not as nice to my friends as I am to my gf. I don't hold back if I have something to say so now when I tell her something its gonna be full force.

So I went today to grab that cable. I stopped by her house, she didn't even invite me in. I could see as she opened the door Don was sitting on the couch in his boxers. I still kept my cool and I said "do you want to talk about anything?" She said "there isn't anything to talk about you can't talk to me the way you have you should give me some respect."

Once again...I will reinficize I have not cursed, yelled, or called her a bad name. I have told her things like "lose my number" "oh now your ignoring me, thats extremely childish" "While you say I was only nice to you to get with you I could just as easily say you only ****ed me so I would be nice to you."

Cause she said that...she said I was only nice to her so that she would have sex with me...which is total bullshit. Who ****in targets a pregnant woman? I've never had trouble with women. If all I was looking for was to bury my dick I could find an easier and more attractive target.

The whole thing has just pissed me off. Not only was that ****er sitting in there when I showed up but she didn't invite me in and then while I have given her a total of 3 attempts to fix shit so we can be friends she has denied speaking to me in person about any of it. Although she will ramble on in texts almost endlessly. I hate having a serious discussion with texts...its not how adults solve their problems. My whole thinking is that I could be close to Ari but I don't think its going to work.

Next time she texts me trying to be friendly I'm gonna have to tell her to piss off. I can't do this shit. I shouldn't be trying this hard to make shit right when she is the one that ****ed it up to begin with.

I can't even sleep cause its all I think about and when I do sleep I just have dreams about fighting with her.

Like I said though I want nothing to do with her...I feel no love for her anymore. I don't know what happened to her but I find myself hating everything she is. She is not a good person. She is very selfish and inconsiderate. I hate her.

[misombra]

dedicated to williams.

[Gigabitch]

dewilliams, you need to listen up:

Ari.
Is.
Not.
Yours.


Walk away.

[Junket]

Listen to Giga, that child is not yours.

Chalk it up as a casualty of a bad relationship.

I'm glad to see you're finally getting angry.

Tap into that darkside, buddy, the sooner you get it out, the sooner you'll get it over.

And don't fool yourself, you're not friends, never will be, and eventually you'll never talk to her again, if you're smart.

As for her demanding respect, I'da told her to suck my cock first.

[misombra]

yeah. it's her fault for hurting her child like that. not yours.

[LailaK]

I love children, and it's sad that the kid's not going to have you ( a good influence) in her life. That being said, I agree with everyone else.

Walk away. You don't owe your ex anything. Don't let her try to guilt you into keeping contact with her. Some people are toxic and the longer you let them stick around in your life the more you are doing yourself a disservice. Move on. Completely.

[dewilliams2]

I know. I said I would tell her to go away and leave me alone. I didn't talk to her at all yesterday. If she leaves me alone I'm not contacting her.

I figure at some point today she will get a hold of me and I will tell her then.

[Gigabitch]

You have to really mean it, too. The bitch is crazy. She wants respect after you walked in on her riding someone else. You have to be very clear with people like that.

[LailaK]

Why do you have to tell her anything? If you avoid her phone calls and just move on with your life she will eventually get the hint. AND you get the added bonus of not having to talk to her.