Fat

[LailaK]

I love food so much. I also hatehatehatehate it. I've nurtured an unhealthy relationship with it ever since I was a little girl. Years ago I was a ballet dancer (skinny and suffering from unhealthy food/control issues) and when an injury took away that lifestyle I almost immediately gained 50 lbs. After getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship a year later I lost 30 lbs and was ok with my weight but OBSESSED about maintaining it and not gaining any more.

When I was single I was a very unhealthy person. I would over exercise, cut out carbs and meat, and do crazy awful things like limit myself to 1000 calories per day for weeks at a time in order to loose weight fast. This wasn't an everyday occurrence but whenever I would get on the scale and see that I had gained 3-5 lbs, I'd usually start this, freak out, and start obsessing. A part of me was convinced that the last guy who rejected me might not have if I was 10-15 lbs lighter.

Now that I'm not single and someone is telling me I'm beautiful everyday I've falling back on bad habits. I fully embraced food and stopped obsessing so much. My boyfriend LOVES to eat and he also LOVES to feed me. He says "I'm so happy that you eat like a real woman and you don't eat salad food all the time." If I have a choice between going to the gym and killing myself for 2-3 hours or laying on a couch with him and playing video games, guess which one I'll choose. I've been pretty happy not obsessing or even getting on the scale. Exercise went from compulsively EVERYDAY to random/whenever I felt like it.

I recently had a b-day and everyone took pictures. I thought I looked really good the night of. My boyfriend kept telling me so. Afterwards when I looked at the pictures I was SHOCKED by how much weight I've gained in the past 2-3 months. I got on a scale (which I had been avoiding) and I've gained 15 lbs back. I was instantly disgusted and depressed. I had such a great week and now I don't even want to described the negative thoughts I'm having about myself. I'm angry and all those mean horrible things that I could possible hurl at myself through inner dialog have started. I'm know that I'm in a lot of trouble right now. I know where this road leads for me and what kind of actions it opens up. I've had years and years of therapy dedicated just to this. I know what the right thing to do right now is but the biggest, strongest, loudest part of me thinks that if I open the door on getting help right now, I'll be closing the door on losing the weight as quickly as I know I can. I know the smart advice I would give to someone who is in my shoes. I also know what is most important to me, right now, in this moment and it doesn't have anything to do with health and well being.

[Asip4u]

I think you look great simply because very skinny girls are a turnoff for most guys. You shouldn't worry too much about this and if you really want to keep your weight steady maybe start some light exercise and you should be fine. Also, it sounds like your boyfriend really loves you so i don't think you have much to worry about. BTW, you are PHAT! haha

[Illusional]

this is always a psychological problem. have you ever thought about seeking professional help?

raverboy

[vashti]

You might want to consider eating a steady diet of the same old foods, day in, day out, except for dinner. It's less painful to strictly control what you eat during the day if you know you will enjoy your dinner.

[QueenofCorona]

I feel your pain. I have food issues up the wazoo too. My weight is so yo-yo, I know its unhealthy to be like that. My boyfriend LOVES to eat and loves it when I bake/cook for him. I should look into baking healthier/low fat goodies.

I agree with Vash. I think the best thing you can do is try to stick to a routine. It helps me if I get groceries every Sunday night and just plan my meals/lunches/snacks out. I may not be craving yogurt or bananas but I buy them anyway so I have something around for breakfast rather than hitting up McDonalds on my way to work. Same thing with my work lunches, buy 5 Lean Cuisines and I'm set. I won't think "But I have no lunch today, better just hit up Chipotle." You can't totally limit yourself though, when I was really watching my weight I put my nose to the grindstone during the week and on weekends I let my hair down, allowing myself to have treats and go out to eat. Not stuff myself and get sick but had treats without stressing.

[LailaK]

Yes, I think I just need to be better at controlling being healthy instead of staying at the two extremes of unhealthy behavior. For me it's all about control. I get mad at myself for not having control (gaining weight) and then I punish myself by doing crazy controlling things.

Even just writing the blurb out helped though. I was able to write exactly how I felt and then read it later objectively.

[VincenzoG91]

You might want to consider eating a steady diet of the same old foods, day in, day out, except for dinner. It's less painful to strictly control what you eat during the day if you know you will enjoy your dinner.

That's something that I've been doing for years, and it works. Boring, but effective. Breakfast is light but mandatory: oatmeal in the winter, granola cereal the rest of the year. For lunch, I drink a low-sodium can of V8 juice plus I eat carrots and several pieces of fruit. Dinner is flexible, and it's the only meal where I routinely eat meat.

[Mish]

When I went to Canada 2 years back I put on 10 kilos (they've got buffets everywhere) and ever since then I've become obsessed about staying healthy. As soon as I came back I lost the 10 kilos and got back to my normal weight. Though I used to be a lot more diligent. I'd cycle to work every day and eat minimum amounts of food. Lately I've been lazy and sliding back. Basically consistent exercise and good diet is everything you need to lose weight, but it's just difficult to maintain it.

[lastwish]

I don't believe diets work. Don't starve youself. The key is to make healthy choices. Eat lean meat, lots of veggies and fruits, whole wheat, and no junk or sugary food. Exercise regulary.

[Cbrider]

Cutting calories to an extreme can actually be counter productive. Your body will sense the reduction and go into a semi hibernation mode, slowing metabolism to conserve since its getting less than it needs.

Eat right and exercise, there is no magic to it. You consume a healthy amount of calories from healthy sources and you burn a portion of those calories by exercising. Your body uses the rest to sustain itself.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed. I had to drastically alter my diet a few times, but I never resorted to starving myself to lose/keep off weight. Does it mean that I have to eat some boring stuff sometimes? Yes.

Typically in the morning I go for generic bran flakes, low fat milk, and I dress it up with some fruit. Mostly raisins. I don't buy brand name raisin brain 'cause there's so much sugar in that stuff. This gives me a good, fueled start to the day, and it keeps me regular I do love bagels though, so I allow myself those too.

Lunch, I'll do homemade sandwiches with basic cold cuts and cheese, or some sort of salad. I'll usually keep some fruit, granola bars, or yogurt on me to give me a boost later in the day.

Dinner is more difficult for me. I work at night and so I don't always have time to stop and eat a full meal, or I'll come home at 2am starving. I try and keep it simple with a sandwich, or something light. I hate going to bed hungry.

I also drink lots of juice and eat various fruits. I like what it does for my body, especially my skin and hair. Also I take Omega supplements. I cut down on my drinking (I love beer), but I'll buy a 12-case and moderate. I realized my junior year of college that most of my weight gain was definitely beer. So, I began the steady habit of eating like this and I dropped 20 pounds over one summer. I went back for my senior year and almost nobody recognized me It felt great.

[Gigabitch]

It is really hard to keep disciplined when you're blending your life with someone else and he loves to eat and sits on the couch playing video games.

The best advice I have to to make sure you get your Lalia Time, and take that time to exercise. Make a habit of it. I've been in relationships where I let that slide before and ended up resenting the guy for "getting in my way", when it was really my own fault for not making sure it happened. Don't let this be you.

[lahnnabell]

Excellent point, Giga. I read an article in some woman's magazine touching upon how women adopt their men's eating habits. I know far too many guys that have terrible eating habits, and their girlfriends are kind of at their mercy as to when they eat, what they eat, etc. I had this problem too. I had to learn to set aside extra time for preparing food so that I could have a regular, healthy eating schedule instead of heading to Carl's Jr. at 10pm. Ugh. Makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

[Junket]

Agreed. I had to drastically alter my diet a few times, but I never resorted to starving myself to lose/keep off weight. Does it mean that I have to eat some boring stuff sometimes? Yes.

Typically in the morning I go for generic bran flakes, low fat milk, and I dress it up with some fruit. Mostly raisins. I don't buy brand name raisin brain 'cause there's so much sugar in that stuff.

I'm glad you brought this up.

For those of you who don't already know, I'd like you all to do something the next time you go shop for cereal.

Take all your "healthy" cereals, and start comparing their sugar content with the traditional "sugary" cereals.

Might be be surprised at the irony of it all.

[Cosmo]

You want to lose weight? Become more active and drink retarded amounts of water.

Diets don't work. Period. They might work for a while but invariably you want to eat normal again.

I've lost 14lbs in 2 weeks and here's how I did it:
Gym 4x a week doing ZERO cardio or fat burn (doing max-muscle building, max weight 6 reps 3 sets), oatmeal and protein shake in the morning, gigantic lunch - something with complex carbs, egg-white sandwich, more carbs for supper (rice and chicken/turkey), some creatine, gym, some more protein, some more creatine and then bed. My goal is to gain muscle weight but the very act of lifting heavy is burning calories and killing fat. I'll do this for at least another month or two and then 'cut' by doing LIT (low intensity training) and eating 500 calories less a day than my current 4,000.

You should be having ~5 meals a day. It keeps your metabolism going thereby helping you lose weight.

Even when body builders have to cut their fat % to ridiculous levels they reduce their caloric intake by only 500 below their recommended intake. 500 calories is two cans of pop.

a HEALTHY diet is important to weight loss, starving yourself and overeating are not. This whole notion of calorie counting and reducing intake were hyped by the media in the 80's and its literally killing our youth with anorexia. There are girls out there eating like 300 calories a day. You burn 150 calories just breathing every day. The sad irony is they would probably weigh the same (or maybe 5lbs more at their PROPER weight) if they had 2,000 calories a day properly spaced out.

... to be fair though I body built until my recent relationship and then completely let myself go... a lot of this weight loss and muscle gain is coming just from living a healthy life again and bringing muscles out of remission.