Dating site question

[everton11]

I have heard from girls on dating site saying that they don't like guy's greeting message being too simplistic. Like a message such as "Hi, how do you do today?". Then they choose to ignore the person altogether because they don't feel the guy is making enough effort to read her profile. But here is the thing, if the girl would actually be interested and send a message back, I will definitely read her profile and make an effort to have a more substantial conversation.

Well, I used to read the girl's profile, and write message base on the content. But here is the problem, out of the 30+ "long" messages I sent, I have not receive a single reply. Afterward, I resort to "shotgun" tactic and send out simplistic messages. I managed to send a lot more messages out, and actually got a few replies. So the conclusion is basically: "Girls who do not reply to your message simply ain't worth you reading their profile and taking the time to write the message".

Now, tell me, what do you think is best?

[warriormaiden]

What's the question again?

I don't know what those girls are talking about, if the guy is messaging you he is OBVIOUSLY trying to get to know you! Your profile can only give some MUCH, people!

But it would be nice if a simple greeting and maybe a hint or a question regarding one of your interests were in the PM. Gives you something to start the conversation with, instead of blindly looking for something to say.

[xxazurexx]

You will find that a lot of people judge your pic. If they like the look of you, they will reply, if not...no reply.

[sookie6]

You need to be cautious with online dating until you've met the person in the flesh..

A lot of things can happen on the other side of the computer...like for example maybe you've sent a message to a girl who has already started chatting seriously to a guy so rather than dismissing you with a direct email saying no thank you she will just let it drift and you'll never hear from her...

Does not meant she does not like you though...it's nothing personal...so start very softly with single lines..nothing too plain but just show a normal level of interest.

It takes a few emails to develop a feel for a person and then decide to meet but you should not let it drag on either...best to meet asap...

[everton11]

I'm new to this online dating site thingy. Here is my profile, anyone mind checking to see if it need improvement?

[url=http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=19979513]everlin History, mathematics, economics, soccer, runn[/url]

No name or anything, just my pictures and profile, hopefully no one from this forum know me personally.

[sookie6]

I'm new to this online dating site thingy. Here is my profile, anyone mind checking to see if it need improvement?

[url=http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=19979513]everlin History, mathematics, economics, soccer, runn[/url]

No name or anything, just my pictures and profile, hopefully no one from this forum know me personally.

Everlin don't mean to disourage you but while the whole text is not bad it's not great either.

The pics first: I'm struggling to find one that makes me want to meet with you...I'll explain:

what about a fantastic smile that says 'I love life and am a happy person'?

People are usually attracted to someone who looks positive...your pics from the army...drop them...your pics as a graduate ...drop them...

although they show external achievements they don't speak about you that much...you need pics of you that shows you know how to have fun, preferably with friends, preferably a good mix of male/female...

Also pics of you in different settins (pub, restaurants, outdoor activities..) anything that oozes confidence and a positive outlook at life.

Now your text:

don't talk so much about your achivements this could make people think you are cocky about that and that you only care about people who have a degree or who have a thriving career...I hope you have worked that one up for yourself already: you should know that your Mrs Right could come from any social and educational background...so don't go intimidating people.

Focus on who you are rather than what you have done and be very laid-back...women will appreciate a man who does not take things seriously..I mean come on these are just dating sites...they are meant to be fun + added bonus of maybe meeting the one if it's meant to happen.

I would like to share with you a profile I really liked recently on a dating wesite. It's really short but makes you want to know the guy. Maybe it's just my opinion:

'in a few word...Good listener, does not take anything for granted, protector and present however deeply respecting your personal space. I like scuba diving, take time to taste and enjoy complicity with you, prepare our next trip, rugby, bookshops and, from time to time, move mountains for you'


In my opinion this description covers all in a few words. The buzz word is 'protector'..what woman is not gonna like the sound of this? the guy is sporty, sociable (plays rugby so enjoys time with his mates, loves traveling, and reads!!!! and the romantic bit he can move mountains for you!!!!


Well this was my 2 cents...I hope it helps.

[Asip4u]

I totally agree with sookie. Also, that site is mostly for hooking up and even though it's not impossible to get something serous you'll really need to work a lot harder and you can start by improving things mentioned above.

[girl68]

If you send out more messages obviously by sheer numbers alone you will get more responses. That is called odds.

I judged pictures, as they judged mine. If they write me "Hey, you're hot." I don't respond. If they write "Hey, how are you" I will take a look at your profile and if the picture is alright I'll read it, if the picture doesn't strike me I won't. If they write a message about the content in my profile I will take a look at your profile and if the picture is alright I'll read it, if the picture doesn't strike me I won't. So basically if I'm not at all liking the picture it isn't going to happen no matter what you write.

FYI you don't have to write "long" messages. A one liner about something she mentions is her profile is more than different. Ie: "so you play hockey? Me too!" At the very least it means you read something...

[xxazurexx]

I'd overlook your profile. I like to see a pic preferably the profile pic, of a close up shot of the face and I didn't see one. Instead your profile pic depicts you looking to the side.....no clear indicator of what you look like.

Because I saw no clear indicator of what you look like, is why I'd skip your profile and not be interested in what you have say.

[xxazurexx]

I'm same as Girl.

If I aint liking the pic, I won't reply and no matter what you say.

I have to be attracted to the pic....end of.

If you prove a bore, even though I like the pic....then I'd stop replying.

There has to be more, than just the pic. But the pic is the initial 'attention grabber'...

[everton11]

Wow, very good advices. I think I know what I'm missing now, I was basically writing my profile as if I was writing my resume. While that do good for me career-wise, it doesn't do much for me here.

Its funny, the two girls who I failed to start a relationship with both used to the same thing to describe me as some of the posts did: "Too serious."

Let me think of some changes, thanks!

I updated my profile, anyone mind taking a look and give me your 2 cents? I have some more pictures but not in my computer right now, and seriously I need to start taking picture while I'm out.

I hope this is a little bit better.

[url]http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=19979513[/url]

[sookie6]

Wow, very good advices. I think I know what I'm missing now, I was basically writing my profile as if I was writing my resume. While that do good for me career-wise, it doesn't do much for me here.

Its funny, the two girls who I failed to start a relationship with both used to the same thing to describe me as some of the posts did: "Too serious."

Let me think of some changes, thanks!

I updated my profile, anyone mind taking a look and give me your 2 cents? I have some more pictures but not in my computer right now, and seriously I need to start taking picture while I'm out.

I hope this is a little bit better.

[url=http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=19979513]everlin History, mathematics, economics, soccer, runn[/url]

Personally I think it's all great, the pics are definitely portraying an engaging and friendly guy...and the description is laid-back and makes people want to meet you...

Kudos to you for not only asking advice but TAKING IT ON BOARD ...I wish you good luck with your social life this summer but it's a great start already!


I've got 2 more observations but feel free to ignore them as I'm really nit-picking here:

- can you take away the keywords at the top of the page 'Everlin History Mathematics Economics' a again they are too serious.

- Rather than Dating I would say Hang out in your profile..I think it will attract more people to your profile and hang out is a good base for dating.

[SirWagginston]

Online dating is even more backwards than real dating, I think. When I posted a clear and informative profile, indicating the desire for a real relationship, my success was disappointing. However, when I went on a different website, posted a simple paragraph about myself, and then added the following:

I am looking for a confident, attractive, older woman who wants to use me for sex. Is that so much to ask? Pin me to the floor and force yourself on top of me--I want to be an object of your desire and fulfill it. I will submit to you always, unless your desire is to submit to me. Then I'll **** your brains out, because I aim to please.

I was solicited immediately. The response rate to my messages skyrocketed, even though I began using generic flirts instead of sending people unique dialogue. I was added to more than 20 favorites lists, and one user said I should be nominated for "best of."

[crazy4you]

Hi you can not judge any girl who message you a common thing.... It is not the right thing that we judge any person who talk regular...It is possible that you can not write long messages in profile but its a rule of websites...so dont judge quickly for any profile... wait & think about that.... Then go for conversation...

[sookie6]

Online dating is even more backwards than real dating, I think. When I posted a clear and informative profile, indicating the desire for a real relationship, my success was disappointing. However, when I went on a different website, posted a simple paragraph about myself, and then added the following:



I was solicited immediately. The response rate to my messages skyrocketed, even though I began using generic flirts instead of sending people unique dialogue. I was added to more than 20 favorites lists, and one user said I should be nominated for "best of."

Regarding this particular happening:

I think your sense of humour probably attracted a lot of women...this is something that we are soooo drawned to...someone who can make us laugh and forget about daily routine...