Awful Feeling...Lost/Broken Man Here

[tjhook]

Really could use some advice...

My ex and I met last March, we fell in love in no time, and got engaged 4 months later (set date to marry in March of this year). Along the way, there were a few problems we encountered...but always talked them through.

Fast forward to nearing wedding time...she came home 3 weeks before our wedding date after visiting her family for 4 days. She was acting very strange...and admitted she was having doubts about the wedding. We discussed it that night and decided to give it a few days and see how she felt.

Well...the next day, she went to my condo to shower, and decided to go through my emails. She found out that I was on a certain medication that I had hid from her (I admit I should have told her)...and flipped out. She said she could not trust me, and called off the wedding. I actually understood her position, and we stayed together but were no longer engaged.

Here is where it gets tricky...she still went to the vacation spot where we were due to marry (friends had invested $ they could not get back)....I did not go even though I had invested a large amount of $ as well.

I asked at one point for the engagement ring back, but all she said was we would talk after she got back from the trip....hmm? I did not like this, and while she was on the trip I was at her home feeding her animals one day..and decided to take the ring back..in which she threatened the cops on me! She called the wedding off but wanted to keep the ring! She said it was me who messed it up and she should keep it as it was a "gift"....I beg to differ that one.

Anyways, things progressively got uglier....she started acting very rude, like not returning texts, taking jabs at me, treating my MOTHER like crap....so forth.

One day I had had enough and called it off between us, and she became emotional and of course played the victim role.

So....we decided to give us a try again....but I think the damage had been done and before long, the games began again.

I am not perfect, but a few things she did included....treated my mother with disrespect, tried to hurt me financially, claimed I took her for granted (I feel was the other way around), and began pushing me aside (even though claiming to be in love with me).

There is a lot more to this story, but I am thinking that anyone who threatens a loved one with the police, and tries to keep an engagement ring after she called off the wedding...I might be better without.

However, I MISS HER TREMENDOUSLY, and am having such a hard time with this! I have tried to contact her 2 times in the last 6 weeks but no response.

Is this thing dead in the water? Am I better off without her? She was my first real love and I truly care for her....I just don't know what to do. Please help me with this.....I NEED ADVICE!

Thanks for reading my story....I need some closure and words of wisdom...please, thank you.

[Alvy]

Look on the bright side, at least you've seen her ugly side. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who can't even think and behave like an adult when a situation flairs up? Threatening to call the police, disrespecting your own mother, yeah...I'd forget about her. Find a woman who can at least keep their emotions and actions in check.

[VincenzoG91]

Next time, do not fast forward to the wedding. Spend at least a year or two getting to know someone before marriage. You dodged bullet here, don't walk back into a hail of gunfire from this woman.

[tjhook]

Thanks guys, yeah I suppose I am lucky to have dodged a bullet...still hurts though.

[Gigabitch]

Hurting is your way of telling yourself to stay away from her.

[cmacattack1]

For some reason only beknownst to her, the wedding scared her and she was looking for any way out. This was her way out. And her behavior is sabotaging your relationship to push you away yet keeping you around for the comfort. It's confusing as hell, I understand.

Not much you really can do. Start backing away and moving in your own direction. I know we all have doubts but if you are truly in love with somebody, I don't think this is the way you would act. Start cutting contact, stop feeding her animals, get your locks changed on your condo if you need to. Her little fantasy playground is about to get shut down.

[tjhook]

For some reason only beknownst to her, the wedding scared her and she was looking for any way out. This was her way out. And her behavior is sabotaging your relationship to push you away yet keeping you around for the comfort. It's confusing as hell, I understand.

Not much you really can do. Start backing away and moving in your own direction. I know we all have doubts but if you are truly in love with somebody, I don't think this is the way you would act. Start cutting contact, stop feeding her animals, get your locks changed on your condo if you need to. Her little fantasy playground is about to get shut down.

Yeah, it is already shut down...we have had no communication in over 6 weeks. It is just sooo hard to accept that she could turn so suddenly, because things were so great.

I am convinced she was looking for a way out, or she would not have gone through my emails in the first place.

This whole thing has just through me for a loop and put me into a deep depression, but I will climb out and be myself again..hopefully soon. I appreciate the replies you guys....they mean a lot right now. This is my first broken heart and it hurts like a mofo!!!

[Shark]

talk to other women, give her space, and work on your own life. You need to bring her interest level back up and make sure she doesn't take you for granted.