Mixed messages and total confusion

[some1there]

Hey there! Could really do with advice about a girl I really like...cause she's sent my brain scatty and I am starting to think so irrationally!

I've become really close friends with a girl from work, actually we've known each other for years through a mutual friend but never really had an oppertunity to talk or do anything together. For a start I think she is single, but I know she is actively looking for someone or just sex (perhaps). We've started to spend a lot of time together, and we don't go more than a few days without meeting up.

Actually there's a litte more history behind "us" we've had a few kisses in the past and things might have gone a little further but...for some mystery reason it didn't? I think she was pressured by friends to avoid anything more with me (for reasons which are unfounded and irrelevant now).

Now...I really have great respect and feelings for this person, she is amazing! When I look into her eyes they always look really big and sexy (dilated pupils I've noticed). So far things would seem promising but I have some gut instinct that she is really not interested in anything more than friendship. For instance, when we touch...she seems very timid yet occasional she seems quite forceful? I think she's quite a shy person, but why would she be forceful and over the top?

I have no intentions of rushing her...and if anything is going to happen I'm willing to wait BUT she really does stop my concentration...I would hate to think that nothing would ever happen??? help!!!

[ltj5253]

well if youve known her for so long, why didnt you ask her out from the get go. now shes had plenty of time to get to know you and call you as a friend. that great. you wont get anything out of her. im sorry to say. unless shes really interested in you, your screwed.

[SuperTech]

I have a similar situation at work...a small touch here and there in passing, obvious smiles and flirting, constant e-mails talking about work stuff but nothing ever happens outside of work. She even invited me to go to the company picnic with her family and there was a party she was going to with her family and I was specifically not invited to that party.

There are two conclusions I can draw:

1. She likes the attention and the game we play, but limits it to the work place, her "safe place" where she knows it won't go any further.

2. She does like me more than friend, but does not want it to go any further as it would complicate our working relationship.

I would love to confront her on all this, but given sexual harassment laws in the work place, a weird look alone can get you in hot water and when I tried to talk to her alone about something that was on my mind, she promptly avoided me and made excuses why she couldn't talk to me.

[some1there]

when I tried to talk to her alone about something that was on my mind, she promptly avoided me and made excuses why she couldn't talk to me.

Yes, I'm getting a similar sort of vibe too! Maybe, it's a polite way of distancing herself to avoid any unwanted attention...or perhaps she's in an equal conundrum over your feelings too?

In theory it would be a good idea to just *blurt* out all your feelings but it really does put her on the spot. Imagine if she has only just consider the possibility of "you"...could be quite overwhelming!

Also, (your advice being much appreciated ltj5253) I think it is possible to make a transition from friends to more...perhaps it's even preferable as you know what to expect from each other (likes, dislikes, common interests etc).