Should you tell your friend about her cheating husband?

[ruthpurple]

Hi guys, I am in bit of a dilemma here, I just found out three days ago that my best friend's husband has been cheating on her! I found out from the other woman herself!

You see, I was in my cousin's party and she introduced me to this girl. The girl and I hit it off well, we started to talk about our love, men and relationships and during the course of the conversation she told me that her relationship is very complicated, because she is in love with a married man! I tried to discourage her, of course by telling her that she deserves a man of her own, a man who can give her the full love and attention, but she said that she is really falling in deep with this married man. She said the affair just happened, they work together in the same company but in different departments, they see each other every day and have a few drinks after office, until they had emotional affair, then it become very sexual. She even told me how intense and great the sex was! When I asked her where she works, I was a little surprised because I know someone there, when I dared to asked her lover's name, it was my best friend's husband's name! I was really dumbfounded and still in utter disbelief. I know this married couple since forever, they have 2 beautiful little girls, I was even the Godmother of there eldest daughter! I don't know what to do! I want to tell my best friend but I am afraid of the consequences. In my heart I really feel like telling her.

Any suggestion on how to drop the bomb? Should I even drop the bomb?

[VincenzoG91]

If you don't have proof when you break the news, be prepared for her to become hostile and defensive. But if I were you, yeah, I would find a way to prove it and then tell her.

[Cosmo]

Yes. Should also consider poisoning this asshole.

[sehvral]

As Vincenzo said, when you break the news, she'll be pissed, and it may impact your friendship for a while.

That said, your obligation is to your friend, not her husband. But you'd better be sure you have 100% irrefutable proof before broaching the subject.

[bloodtippedrose]

If I was being cheated on and my friend knew I would want her to tell me. Sure I would be devastated and my emotions might be misdirected but when the smoke settles I would have been glad you did it and youre a true friend. If you know her well, really really really know her well then invite her over or whatever and prepare her then tell her everything the woman told you straight up.

[Joshua]

you should tell her and this is what a real friend should do
think about it,you dont tell her and it once she finds out by herself and she will be more shocked and things will become much worse

[mel2208]

I would tell your best friend..If you dont she will be more upset if she found out you knew and didnt tell her..But before telling her just make sure your 100% sure its going on between the 2 of them. I dont condone cheaters i think its unforgivable. My ex was having an affair with someone i knew. My best friend told me when she caught them. i was upset at first but i couldnt thank her enough afterwards for telling me.

[SirWagginston]

If you really love your friend, you will care more about helping her than you will care about how angry she will be at you for doing so.

[LailaK]

She's your best friend. Tell her NOW. If you don't have solid proof you can say "This is what happened to me at a party. I don't have solid proof but here is the b*tch whore's name" To cut down on the pain you might offer tidbits like "I really hope it's not true" and "Anything you need, ANYTHING, you know I'm here for you and the girls."

Good luck and be prepared to be there for your friend in her time of need.

[girl68]

I like the last bit. She is your bff you should be able to talk to her. Tell her how and when you found out and be there for her. Again, why would you NOT tell her?

[xxazurexx]

I've been in this situation before and told a best friend that her guy was cheating...

She didn't believe me, hated my guts and we havn't spoke to this day.

So no, I'd never get involved in that type of scenario again. If he's a cheating scumbag, she will get wind of it eventually anyway, if she hasn't already cottoned onto it that is.

[girl68]

your "friend" sounds incredibly stupid to have ditched you without at least trying to find out if there was truth behind the accusation.

my god if my bff told me the love of my life was cheating the last person I'd be upset with is her! (but then again I have the most honest caring bff ever) she'd be the first and likely the only one I'd go to, to cry and vent and pick me up and carry me on.

[vashti]

Does your friend have children?

[Sonrisa]

no, no and no. affair is just a temporary phase that people go through. let it be over without hurting your friend. if you tell her now and she still stays with her husband she'll be hurt forever. it will take a huge toll on their marriage and most importantly children.

[vashti]

no, no and no. affair is just a temporary phase that people go through. let it be over without hurting your friend. if you tell her now and she still stays with her husband she'll be hurt forever. it will take a huge toll on their marriage and most importantly children.

I'm inclined to agree, unless they are childless, in which case, she might as well get rid of him now.