just got out of a relationship

[wthislove]

i know if a girl says she's just got out of a relationship, it's time to back off. but this girl that i'm interested in told me that it's not that she's not interested in me, but she needs time because she just got out of a relationship. but she said she does like me. so what does this mean? and what am i supposed to do?

[Gigabitch]

Tell her to call you when she's ready. Don't try to be her friend in the meantime, that will only bite you in the long run. Appreciate the fact that she was straightforward with you about it- you don't want to be her Rebound Clown.

[girl68]

That's right ^ just let her do what she's got to do before jumping to a new guy.

[wthislove]

Tell her to call you when she's ready. Don't try to be her friend in the meantime, that will only bite you in the long run. Appreciate the fact that she was straightforward with you about it- you don't want to be her Rebound Clown.

now she wants me to be her friend. i'm so confused.

[xxazurexx]

^^ She doesn't see you as 'boyfriend material'.....hence the 'wants to be friends' bit,

Friends is what she offers, rather than a straight up rejection.

Probably wants to keep you around on the sidelines, incase she doesn't get back with her ex.

[wthislove]

^^ She doesn't see you as 'boyfriend material'.....hence the 'wants to be friends' bit,

Friends is what she offers, rather than a straight up rejection.

Probably wants to keep you around on the sidelines, incase she doesn't get back with her ex.

wish she had told me a straight up answer, instead of making me so confused. i thought i had a chance.
anyway, if that's the case, i don't wanna be around her. am i being stupid and selfish? what would be the best thing to do?

[xxazurexx]

Thing is, you can't expect people here to know what is going on 'exactly' in her head and because we don't know her.

It could be that she isn't over her ex, in which case she won't want to jump into anything else. She will be keeping the door open to her ex returning and if she's wanting him back. She may think that if she sees other guys, it would ruin her chance of getting her ex back.

It could be that she also doesn't see you as boyfriend material, but has 'friendzoned' you. In that you will get friends and nothing more.

I have only ever been in friends with ex situation. Never in this kind of situation where I liked someone and my feelings were not reciprocated...
But in your situation, no I wouldn't hang around. Particularly not if they were just recently out of a relationship. Do you want to be a rebound guy?

[elphie]

just because she is interested doesn't mean she wants to pursue anything right now. she said she needs time, which is to give her a chance to get over her ex. that's really admirable on her part because so many people just rebound right after a relationship. respect her wishes and back off (do you really want to be a rebound?) and after a couple of months you could see how she's doing (or maybe she'll contact you); or you could tell her that when she's ready, if she's still interested, to get in touch with you. in the meantime though, don't wait around for her, and pursue other options for yourself. things may or may not work out down the road. but definitely don't put your life on hold.