Single mother advice please....

[isay]

Do you think you're a wirdo for wanting to date a guy that age? I hope not...there's nothing wrong with it. I think he'll actually be flattered that someone like you would consider him an option. Many times younger guys who are very mature for their age like older women because they can relate better---i don't know if this is the type of guy he is but if he is not then you don't need to waste your time with him- you don't need an immature guy around.

I also look good (young) for my age and unless we tell people they can't tell I'm older than he is (actually once on a date I was IDd and he wasn't---I had to make fun of him for that)
Stay young, take care of yourself and be confident. Like I said earlier, he should be flattered by your attention.

Don't make it seem like you're too interested or worried whether he'll be okay with you being a mom and being older. If he is ready for that he'll take you for who you are. I know it can be nerve wrecking at first so just be honest and ready for whatever comes. I think the sooner you tell him the better but don't go out of your way. Have a first date with him and you tell him during dinner....don't let it be the first thing that comes out of your mouth though. Let him get to know you a little bit before you bring up serious conversations---best thing is to let him tell you about himself first ---
Good luck!

[workoutgirl1970]

NO way are you too old to be dating him, go for it..I would! He is legal and young but good for you..he will be energetic and have a hell of a sex drive.. just be honest and tell him that you are a Mom. Honesty is best regardless of the age.

[workoutgirl1970]

Age is irrelevant, he could be really mature for his age. No one is too old to date anyone unless they are a minor, legal is all that is important. Only he knows if he wants a package or not and they just met, one step at a time.

[Gigabitch]

Lulu, just be careful about showing your daughter what you think is appropriate. You're her model of womanhood, and she's paying attention. Don't date guys that can't handle your scene. This means you have to tell him about being a mom before you go out with him.

[lilly1185]

Lulu, just be careful about showing your daughter what you think is appropriate. You're her model of womanhood, and she's paying attention. Don't date guys that can't handle your scene. This means you have to tell him about being a mom before you go out with him.

I have a huge problem with suitability, so I'm at a loss on how to convey to someone else how they SHOULD bring up a situation.
Current guy, I've known since highschool, so before we got together, we had the benefit of "Lets catch up since we hadn't heard from eachother in some years."

He's the same age as me, and has no problem with the fact I have a son.
If I were to date anyone else who *didn't* know I had a kid, I usually just picture myself saying "Oh, but I've got a 2 year old."

I do omega agree with you Giga, on being a model of womanhood. Children absolutely absorb everything we do and say.

[vashti]

Ashton is probably checking out Demi's teenagers.

In any case, it ism't the age difference I find problematic. YOu two are in completely different stages of life. Also, you should know that if I had an 11 year old daughter, I wouldn't be bringing home ANY male I was dating to meet her. A large number of molested girls are abused by their stepdads or mom's current boyfriend.

[Lulu]

I don't bring home men to meet my daughter!! That is for sure. The only way I would do that is if it got serious, and I haven't had that since my break up with her dad. I've been celibate since. I'm new to the single life and dating scene- which explains why I pop up here every now and then. I haven't been a single gal since age 18!!! (explains my lack of dating know how!). I do have to admit that I never had any idea how many seemingly great men would be into me!! (not to sound arrogant or boastful) but for all of you women that have been in long term dead end relationships, take it from me- the single life CAN be pretty great and revitalizing. I really had no idea. I thought that I was 31 year old mom that would never find anything better than what I had. NOW- I realize my ex was just a bum in comparison to all of these other men that I keep coming across! HA! People always say, "you can do better". Believe THAT, ladies!!!

[qwertz]

I agree, he's not too young in numbers, but he is probably too young in maturity to be able to handle your situation on a long term basis.
I had a similar situation and looked at it in terms of no one was good enough to meet my son, there was no way i would introduce any guy into my sons life that wasnt there to stay 100%. I would just mention in conversation from the outset that I am a mother- even if i had to just say "oh, i have a son" - no point in wasting anyones time. As it goes, i dont have to worry about that now

[mel2208]

Age dont matter hun. My brother (33) is married to his wife for 10 years and she is 50!! they love each other dearly

..Id tell him about your daughter pretty much straight away on ya first date !! if he likes you he ll stick around, if not then his loss...probably not meant to be.. just go with the flow..x

[NewStart]

I'm 36, with a 9 year old son. My advice on this topic is to stick to other people with kids (probably within a few years of age either way). I'm separated from my wife-- 8 years younger than me (not the mother of my child) because she cannot handle the responsibility of being a step-parent on the weekends. A 23 year old guy might make a great 'play date' for you, but I question whether it would be feasible for a long-term relationship. I guess there's only one way to find out: call those digits and go on a date (telling him straight out that you have an 11-year-old). Good luck!

[dewilliams2]

I'm 36, with a 9 year old son. My advice on this topic is to stick to other people with kids (probably within a few years of age either way). I'm separated from my wife-- 8 years younger than me (not the mother of my child) because she cannot handle the responsibility of being a step-parent on the weekends. A 23 year old guy might make a great 'play date' for you, but I question whether it would be feasible for a long-term relationship. I guess there's only one way to find out: call those digits and go on a date (telling him straight out that you have an 11-year-old). Good luck!

Not all 23 year olds are the same. I'm 23 and I welcome the opportunity to be a father. Me and my gf have already talked about while her daughters father will always be in the picture in terms of visitation I will be a father figure....in my opinion better than her biological father. Of course thats only if things go that far....we just sort of made sure all the cards were on the table and everything was understood.

I want kids though....I think I'd make an excellent father. Mainly cause I had great parents and I've seen so many bad cases of parenting just watching my cousins raise their kids.

So don't rule him out just because he has never had kids and is young. There are plenty of 40 yr olds that have several kids and still haven't learned how to man up and be a father.

[Mr. Turtle]

Let not throw the baby out with the bath water here. LOL. I would say right here its okay to do 35 in a 60mph zone. I know was after a single momma, because lets face it...They are the best bang for buck. By that I mean, when you date someone you dont know if they are a good mom...But a single mom who is able to hold her own with a child is worth its weight in gold. He may be interested, he may not. Date him and bring it up. If you are upfront, if he gets thrown off or scared, then he's not ready and you dont want to have to "work" anyone in. It should fall in naturally. There is a very bad stigma that single moms carry and it sucks. But there is a guy out there that just plain doesnt care about your past, just the possible future. Keep at it. The pitch is rough these days on everyone, especially the people who have responsibilities.