Advice please!!!

[Ashley2013]

Hi everyone, I'm Ashley.

I would really appreciate anyone's input on this situation.

I have been friends with my best friend for four years. For the better part of three years I have had romantic feelings for him that have grown into love. We are very close and always have been, but he is not one to really talk about his feelings. Instead, we have always enjoyed corresponding with each other via letters every so often. In these letters, I told him how I feel about him. He never gives me a direct answer to that portion of the discourse though. This is odd because he is a very straight forward person and always tells people if he doesn't have feelings for them as more than a friend. In these letters he says things like "I'm not ready for a long term relationship at the moment." Any idea what this means? I feel like there might be something more between us, but he just isn't ready to explore it yet.

Also, he is coming to my city for a visit in May. We are going to a really nice dinner, paid for by him and going to see Yo-Yo Ma perform as well (which was my birthday/Christmas gift to him). I am planning to finally have a discussion with him when he is here. Any suggestions on how to bring this up or approach the subject?

All thoughts are appreciated!

Thanks!
Ashley

[ThatSimpson88]

I hate to say it, but he doesn't seem to be interested in a relationship. Guys are not shy when a girl they are interested in, but have been stuck in the 'friend zone'. If he wanted more then just a friendship, he would let you know.

[1337lizard]

He's not interested. Don't press the issue anymore than you already have unless you want to alienate your friend.

[dono01]

Maybe he's a wuss? Try and talk to him about it.

[davidtorres]

usually guys will ask you out if they are physically attracted to you. Are you fit?

[cmacattack1]

He probably wants the benefits of everything you have to offer but doesn't want the relationship and the work that comes attached to it. There isn't a hidden meaning behind it, take it as it is. You girls! You are so silly. The "for now" thing is just to keep you hooked, we all like to have options as vain as it sounds.

Just don't get your expectations up high this month. You might feel like it's a magical time but you have to keep reminding yourself that "he doesn't like me like that, he doesn't like me like that." Even if he makes a move (which would be SUCH a guy thing to do), he's going to be long distance again afterwards and you will be back at the beginning. Do your best and keep it platonic. I have a feeling you won't though. You have been warned.

[somedude]

He is having his cake and eating it!

You have put yourself outthere and he is not giving you a direct answer. He is keeping you there to boost his own self-esteem.

Don't bring it up with him and control your feelings when with him. He knows how you feel so he needs to make the move from here.