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Thread: She gave me her number but was somewhat hesitant (wall of text)

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    She gave me her number but was somewhat hesitant (wall of text)

    It's a girl I've known for about a year now but didn't really start chatting with her for about a month.
    Back story:
    A chick friend of mine (who we'll call girl A) introduced me to her friend (who we'll call girl B) about a year ago. I liked girl B almost from the start. However, I didn't like her too much and I was too nervous to do anything (I kept my cool at the time, but had only that one convo with her for almost a year now). Anyways, after girl B left, I told girl A that girl B was really hot. A few months later, girl A told me that she told her friend (girl B) what I said, and that girl B thought I was cute. Why at that point I didn't try to hit on her is passed me. Anyways, the semester for college was ending soon and I wanted to do something, so I started talking with her A LOT more and trying to get closer. So far, I asked her out once to a cafe and she shot me down saying that she was swamped with homework (which is true, she was complaining about it for a while, was even working on it while I was there with her doing my own homework, but I gave it a shot anyways). I asked her out again on the last day of school to a thing my friend was doing at his university. She said she was busy again going to another city (which could be true, a lot of people here go to that nearby city for a few days). She however did invite me to a party later that day that she was invited to. Unfortunately, I had already made plans, so I couldn't go. Forgot to get her number there tho.

    Recently (4 days ago), during exam period (no classes, just scheduled tests), I saw her in the school after I finished my test (well, she saw me and called me over). She said that she was going to a nearby cafe to hang out with one of her closest friends and asked if I wanted to go with her (well, in the same direction, she knows I live somewhat close to her, which is also close to the cafe). I said sure and on the bus ride there, I asked her for her number and said we should hang out some time. She at first said no. I felt really awkward and she very clearly saw that and said she's sorry and she's not trying to reject me or anything. She said if I wanted to hang out with her, I could use Facebook. I told her it's too awkward to ask someone to hang out on Facebook. To which she replied that it would be fine if I did on Facebook and that she doesn't give out her number to people she already has on Facebook since she doesn't text or call much (which is a lie, I've hung out with her in school, she does those quite a bit). Anyways, she apologized again and said she would give me her number. I told her if she didn't want to, then she didn't have to. She said, no, it's ok, then gave me her number. I still felt really bad not only because she said no but I think I just kinda forced her into giving me her number, which I really don't like doing. So I left to my buddies place sine we planned to go to the theaters together.

    Anyways, what should I think and do now?

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    She likely gave you the number and so as not to be nasty. Maybe she had felt pressured into giving you it.
    I've done the same and when I was younger. Passed my number along and because some guy was pressuring me for it and I'd felt awful saying no.
    I just planned to ignore him when he called and hope he'd take the hint.

    Thing is and if she was hesitant, it was for a reason and she likely doesn't want you to call/text her.

    So to be on the safeside, you are best off sticking to Facebook to arrange things with her.

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    That's what I was afraid of which is why I haven't called or texted yet. Sigh, struck out again, but I don't feel nearly as bad as if I have never tried. If I want to do anything with her, then I'll have to wait 4 months when she goes back to school again and try to get closer to her then (assuming she doesn't have a bf or anything by then). Until then, I'll see if there are any other girls I can chase after. I don't wanna focus on only one girl like I used to.

    Edit* Does it mean anything that she did invite me to a party with her and that on the same day that I asked her for her number. And (on the day that I asked her for her number) that she saw me in the hall and called me over and asked if I wanted to go on the bus with her?
    Last edited by dudeguy; 03-05-10 at 12:57 AM.

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    Well my word isn't a given that she might not want you to text or call, lol.
    I just say what I think, but I don't know her personally and to be able to judge what she will/won't do, whether she's happy to have you call or not.
    At the end of the day and if you want to call or text her then go ahead.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained
    Last edited by xxazurexx; 02-05-10 at 12:05 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dudeguy View Post
    Edit* Does it mean anything that she did invite me to a party with her and that on the same day that I asked her for her number. That she saw me in the hall and called me over?
    I can't speak for all females, but I wouldn't be inviting a guy to a party with me and if I didn't like him. If I didn't like him in 'that' way, I wouldn't invite him and because I wouldn't want to lead him into thinking it was more/could be more.

    Thing is, some females would and it seems fairly common in the States and Canada, for females to have lots of guy friends.

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    Well, I really do want to ask her out again. This is the first time I've ever actually tried asking a crush out, even more so, asking for her number. So I really want to try and go through with it to the end. So if any events come up, I might try. I wanna hear more opinions first before doing anything further tho. I've been pretty terrified to even go this far and don't think I can go any further blind.

    If you wanna know about her to help decide more. She isn't a huge party chick but she does go out fairly often (like about 1 to 2 times/week) but will at most, drink once per week. She really isn't into the whole girls kissing each other thing for fun or to be sexy. It's not that she doesn't mind gays, she just thinks it's weird to do that stuff for fun. She also isn't very perverted, not stuck up, she just doesn't finds it a bit gross. In high school she was a somewhat shy girl. She did have friends but wasn't invited to too many parties or anything like that. She also thought the girls who wore skirts above their ass were gross (she went to a private school, so almost all of them did that). She doesn't do weed. She is very pretty, towards the end of the semester, a lot of guys asked her out on dates. She pretty much shot all of them down. How many got her number, I don't know.

    Sry if my knowledge about her is a bit disorganized.

    As for her asking me to go with her to a party a while ago, I doubt she did it because she liked me. I was hanging around with her for a while when she was talking with one of her guy friends about a party they were both going to. I was on the bus with them when they were going to her place because she wanted to change (he was not her bf and he was not allowed inside the house). They were talking about the party and she was like, oh hey, do you wanna come as well. It felt sort of like she only asked me because she would feel bad for not inviting someone to it after talking about it. I could be wrong about this. It was really hard to read her when she said it, but I'm giving myself the worst situation possible.

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    I would like more people to give me advice, so please help me out.

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    Well you may as well give it a shot, but make it very , very low-key. Like you said, wait until something fun comes up and then ask her along.
    Is it burnin'? Well, f-ck, now you're learnin'.

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    I would be a man and just call her. The reason some guys get laid a lot and some guys don't is because the guys that do have the guts to simply say something, anything to a female. Sure, everyone on the net gets more ass than a toilet seat, /sarc, but the bottom line is, if you do, if you really, really get laid a lot, you wouldn't be asking for help.

    Just ask her out, she says no, move on, who cares, at least you tried.



    Paul Cho

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