How to find a lovable female if you are a home-obsessed male?

[weibin]

Hello! I just wonder if any of you people are staying at home most of the time and do not have some time to go out and meet with new people. Well, I am that type of people and I don't see any chance to meet with new people, let alone attractive female. That worries my parents and me also. I have a cousin who is still not married now at the age of 30. She once met an attractive male online but failed to establish a relationship for the far distance between where she lives and where the male lives. Any advises from you people? I am expecting for your positive feedbacks. Thanks!

[xxazurexx]

Get some hobbies and interests, join some clubs, that involve having to get up and go out into the world.

Failing that, the only other way you would meet people at home, is on your pc or a phone chatline.

Nobody is gonna come knocking at your door.

[Doc Durian]

Meeting is seldom the problem... it's meeting the type of person you'd like to meet which causes the biggest problems.

So, develop your own interests and make yourself be social. Do what makes you happy... do what you believe in or enjoy.

Once you start down that path, you'll meet compatible friends and lovers as a side show to whatever you're doing/enjoying.

Too many people think, "I'm lonely. I should go to the pub and see if I meet someone". Far more think, "I have this life and I do what I do, but I don't want to hang out at bars looking for someone who appreciates me" but don't try at all... only to settle with someone less than ideal for them.

When you aren't at odds with what you want and feel, you'll direct your spare time to things you like and think. Along that course, you'll meet like minded sorts.

It could be the sister of the fellow you race RC cars with down at the track...

...or the lone girl behind the midnight movie ticket booth who feels compelled to tell you not to waste your money on a particular flick..

Revel in the chaos... don't despair because of it.

If we came to earth fully remembering our game plan, we wouldn't exist as we've come to expect it. And that's most of our problem.

[weibin]

Thank you for your advices, Doc Durian and xxazurexx. But I am not that type of people who is ready to go out and involve into my social life because I am too shy to get contact with new people in real life. I think nobody would come to you and say hello to you even if you are a stranger to her. I try to meet with people online, but usually that kind of relationship never last because we don't meet with each other and live together to get to know more details like social experience, habit etc. Even if we could, we cannot share with each other online, social experience and habit cannot be explained and gained from several words or pictures online. So that is the problem, usually I am the one who tries to get contact with my online friends ( strangers), if I don't mail or sms them, I would not get any response from them. If I found them unintereting, I would not contact them, either. Then the so called relationship is broken. I need help to keep the relationship but that requires the effort of both sides. Suggestions are needed from you people urgently, thank you!

[QueenofCorona]

What sort of things do you like doing at home? Reading or cooking or what? Maybe take a cooking class or join a book club.

If anything ask your close friends (they know you best) to think of gals that might click with your personality which sounds like the homebody type.

[Doc Durian]

Thank you for your advices, Doc Durian and xxazurexx. But I am not that type of people who is ready to go out and involve into my social life because I am too shy to get contact with new people in real life. I think nobody would come to you and say hello to you even if you are a stranger to her. I try to meet with people online, but usually that kind of relationship never last because we don't meet with each other and live together to get to know more details like social experience, habit etc. Even if we could, we cannot share with each other online, social experience and habit cannot be explained and gained from several words or pictures online. So that is the problem, usually I am the one who tries to get contact with my online friends ( strangers), if I don't mail or sms them, I would not get any response from them. If I found them unintereting, I would not contact them, either. Then the so called relationship is broken. I need help to keep the relationship but that requires the effort of both sides. Suggestions are needed from you people urgently, thank you!

Stop caring about strangers and start caring about the person you'd like to understand most.

Would you ignore you?

Nope?

Well, that's a start.

Go with that feeling and if someone ignores you, remain strong in the fact that you don't ignore yourself.

Be your best friend to find best friends, lovers....even network amongst the workplace channels for further financial and positional gain.

Anybody who doesn't return your emails, phone calls, or initial contacts... dead to you. You render them inconsequential. Deal with them strategically. They lost the right to humanity when they treated you contrary to it.

- And look at the small things in life for happiness.... a cold beer, ocean waves... some silly girl at the supermarket frantically trying to find the best Use-By date on a tin of salmon... whatever.

When you truly come into your own, you'll own this world.

[davidtorres]

If you dont go out then you will never find a girl. put this in your head. stop being a wuss, go out and talk to girls. Girls will not come to you, you need to make the initiative to get with them.

[weibin]

Absolutely! I agree with you!

[weibin]

I like cooking at home, I'm interested in wine and dining, but I don't know if there is a cooking class or a book club in the local town. So usually I go online to search for materials of wine and dining.

[xxazurexx]

^^How can people help you, when you aren't seemingly wanting to help yourself.

Get off your backside and go out into the world and look for a cooking class or a book club, rather than make excuses, ie: going online to find these things.

That is like me saying Im not going shopping anymore and because I can get it online.
Actually going for my shopping, gets me out and about and mingling among society.

Every place I know has some kind of cookery class, or other classes/courses going on or a library where you can go to borrow books, etc.

There is just no excuse, lol

[lahnnabell]

I find that home-obsessed males are very insecure. They worry about what others may think of them and so they stay out of public view. It may be compounded by the fact that the idea of "home" is comfortable, yes, but that's exactly what that means... It's a comfort zone. We do lots of growing when we find the balls to push ourselves outside our comfort zone.

[weibin]

Yes, i see it that way, too. I actually had a blind date with a girl who is a shop assistant. I tried to meet her needs by doing everything possible. But she seemed to be uninterested in me. How I find that? We never had eye contact because she never looked at me when she spoke to me. And in the shopping mall, she seemed to be trying to lose me by walking very fast. Believe it or not, I didn't even have a topic to talk with her. She talked to her parents that she liked me, but she behaved like a stranger to me. Is that because I behaved like a wuss? How could she like me? So I decided to stop seeing her. And she never sent me a message asking me the reason. That's really funny, isn't it? But to me, it's miserable.

[phys251]

Meetup.com or its equivalent is a great way to find specific interests and, more importantly, get out from time to time.

[blue102]

Chat rooms.... do they exist anymore? That's where i met my first boyfriend... I was with him for 4 years. We even went to college together. There is NOTHING wrong with being a homebody. Lots of great girls (AND MANY THAT WANT FAMILIES) love that. I think older women appreciate the home life more, so try relationship sites targeting women ages 25 and up. Maybe eHarmony? Not familiar with the sites out there....