She never compliments me..

[Kolo]

My girlfriend of almost 5 months never compliments me, we've dated 8 years ago. Last compliment I remember, she called me cutey, which was.. a month ago. She has never come out and said I am handsome. When I ask if I'm Handsome she goes, yes.. I say , really? In a nice innocent way like i loved hearing it, and she goes, YES MICHAEL. I used caps because she raises her voice when she says it. I am on the phone with her now, I asked if she could compliment more because i LOVE hearing it so so much. She says she has a verbal problem, and she shows it more in person. She has never commented me in person. Please help me, what's going on? I love this girl to death.

[Kolo]

Don't know how to edit so I'll reply. She is currently mocking me. EDIT : sorry i figured it out, wanted to add I am currently crying. She started mocking me, and telling me "GROW YOUR ****ING BALLS". I started crying, I'm a soft person.

[doppelgaenger]

No offense Kolo, but it sounds like you are a needy, sensitive boy and you're annoying her with that.
Girls are attracted to masculinity. If you're always whining about receiving compliments and begging her for attention, you're being quite the opposite.

[Kolo]

Sensitive yes, needy, no. How would it be annoying to ask for it once? I am starting to think asking someone else for advice was a mistake. Thanks for nothin.

[doppelgaenger]

Don't you get it? Throwing a pity party is not going to get you anywhere. You're turning her off and annoying her by crying like a baby! And why? Because you asked her to compliment you more, which is pretty darn ridiculous. And yes you are needy. If you're crying because of *this*, then you're needy.

Try this: stop giving a damn. It will make you feel a whole lot better, and hell, maybe she'll start showering you with compliments for being more 'manly'. After all, it is 'men' who are handsome. Is that something you can live up to?

[anonymous12345]

try this for one whole week. Stop being needy and clingy BUT instead go the opposite. Give her her own treatment. Don't compliment her anymore, don't do sweet stuff to her, don't focus on her much, basically just play it cool. "you wanna hang out? cool lets hang out. Oh you don't want to hang out? ok see you next time then." Just passively ignore her and see how that will work out. Once girls think that your soo hook on them and that there's no chance she'll lose you, they start feeling safe and gives you less attentnion. But do as i say and she'll change her ways.

[xxazurexx]

A guy who was always fishing for compliments from me and constantly, would totally get on my nerves.

It would make me think he was a real insecure person who lacked confidence.

I'd be viewing him like a little boy, rather than as a MAN.

[dewilliams2]

Balls up!!

[girl68]

Just 'casuse he's a guy y'a'' jump down his throat. If it were a girl posting about how her man doesn't say a darn nice thing about her almost ever. We'd all be screaming what a jerk! I was one of those girls. I know what a toll no compliments takes on a person and I believe man or women the result of feeling unloved, and insecure is a result.

I think that instead of fishing and asking for compliments you should have approached this like a problem. You should have talked about how good compliments are to hear, how good it makes you feel. And then continue on to say how bad it makes you feel when you never, ever get them. Instead you just said hey, can you compliment me more?

And I also think fishing for compliments is super annoying. And when you cried it was a bit wussy but you do need to man up and tell her that you don't need to be made feel bad becasue you'd like to hear how much she loves your ___________ every once in a while.

I wanted to add that despite me talking to my guy about compliments and him promising he will at least a little more often he never really did. He was dumped. I now have a guy and he is worshiped and he knows it.

[lahnnabell]

Yeah, gotta say the crying would turn me off too. However, probably wasn't a good idea for her to lose her temper like that either. You have to understand though that crying is what babies do when they have no other way to communicate with the world. You need to stand your ground more about what you want. It is nice to be verbally appreciated as well as physically appreciated by our partners. It's essential that we understand where we stand with the others in our life, especially our significant other. I know a lot of people that have trouble verbalizing their thoughts though. And I know people who find it embarrassing to give compliments. I don't accept compliments very well all the time. They make me self-conscious and shy when they catch me off guard.

You can't live your life expecting others to make you feel good about yourself either. Your girlfriend's irritation might stem from the fact that you are not entirely aware of the effect this neediness has on people. I would highly recommend watching your body language. Do you walk confidently? Do you assert yourself in situations AT ALL? Do you act like your proud to stand next to your girlfriend? If not... then I can see why she's exasperated.

[irrelevant_89]

^ Some of us can't do that. Some of us can't just act confident, imprint false certainty in what we can't be sure of, pretend that nothing in the world can hurt us or hide the pain when it does, and make everyone else think that we're at ease with ourselves when in fact there's a pool of self-hate drowning us in the inside.

We can't all be strong, confident and admirable people. Some of us are weak and pathetic. I'm not saying this is the OP's case, I just don't like when everyone's answer is "grow a pair". Sometimes it just doesn't grow.

[xxazurexx]

Hmm, well I'm female and I don't need the compliments/approval of others to assure me that I'm worthy or of my worth, or that I look good.

For me the occasional compliment is fine if someone wants to pay me one, (I loathe over complimenting), but it's not something I am looking for or expect and I never fish for compliments.

Guess maybe I'm just a confident person.

My ex husband would never pay me a compliment. It really didn't bother me whatsoever.

The fact he was with me in the first place, said it all for me and was enough.

[Gigabitch]

Why are you dating such a cold fish?

[vashti]

Maybe you AREN'T handsome? She may value you for some other quality. It surely isn't your manliness, though.

And add another vote to women who can't tolerate a man fishing for compliments like a girl, and then crying like a baby. I don't want to have to be the one with balls.

[Sonrisa]

i don't compliment either