Bunny Boilers - how to identify?

[therealjag]

Hey there,

I am currently going out with a girl for almost 13 months now. And after thorough research on her phsyche and decision making and from numerous phsycology websites, other girls on this forum ( [url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/19381-what-went-wrong-1.html[/url] as an example) I have come to the conclusion that my girlfriend is a bunny boiler.

This does worry me and I have had my unfair shar of struggles with her, some ongoing and some in the past. Therefore I'm writing this post to try and gain help from other members about how to identify girls or sometimes even guys (yeah I've read a few obsessed phsyco bf stories too) and then how to deal with these people and not letting their negative views on life affect you and stop you from being a healthy and beautiful person.

Below are some of the signs I've identified but if anyone can help me out if they have more then feel free to add to my suggestions. Also I am very sorry if this offends anyone but if I had read this before I started dating my current gf then I would have stayed well away, sorry. Btw these suggestions below come in combinations I feel, so if they are exhibiting some or a few of these symptoms then be warned. If its just one or two then they might be cool, but its hard to tell for sure without further clues.

OK here we go:

1) Seem normal at first, but when they start to tell you about how hard their life is/was then be careful.
2) Have been through a really difficult period in their life, like parents divorced. Not always a bad sign as it happens to a lot of people but it can leave some kids emotionally scarred.
3) Say for example you get to know them a bit better and they say no one can love you more than I ever will. If you hear that it may be too late, but run if you can!
4) Tell you how crap their mum and dad or siblings are
5) Are very open and honest. I know this sounds strange but if they tell you that they are a person who is very open and honest and likes to be told up front and tells people what they are always thinking it can mean someone who is very selfish and doesnt care about other peoples feelings...even though when he/she says it, it makes them think they are coming across as a good person.
6) Text and call you a lot, and reply very quickly to texts even though you have just met them. can mean they are thinking about you a lot, maybe a bit too much...like an obsession - aaarrggh!!
7) Tell you they are really really shy and unconfident but seem to talk quite a lot on the first date(s).
8) Dont seem to have a lot of friends and have just one or two very close friends and everyone else is just an acquantance who they talk to once in a while.
8) When they meet your friends for the first time they dont seem to hit it off...usually cos she/he is having to share you with your mates and they want you all to themselves *evil laugh
9) Cant stand rejection and do whatever they can so they dont get rejected, even contemplate suicide. For example when trying to not contact them or break up with them.

I cant think of other things right now and tbh Ive written quite a lot already.. If i think of more I'll post em. I know I am coming across quite strange posting all of this and some of you may actually be thinking, "What a wierdo!" but I assure you I would absolutely from the bottom of my heart, hate for anyone to go through what I have been going through for the past 7-8 months which is why I am so compelled to write this.

Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated kindly, thanks. Btw, if she seen me write this, I think she'd kill me! But oh well, had to get it off my chest, been bugging me for ages! I've also not proof read this so there may be grammatical/spelling errors.

Jag

[qwertz]

have you not get anything better to do with your time?!

[therealjag]

actually yeah im at work just now and should be doing that but this has been on my mind so wanted to get it out...

if there is a general consensus though that no one likes my original post I'll delete it. Dont really want to offend anyone just trying to help people in a weird kind of way...although im guessing so far its not helpful!

[xxazurexx]

Bunny boilers are those who become 'obsesssed' with someone. Whether in a case of unrequited love or if they are in a relationship, if someone is in your face 24/7 and trying to control your life and revolve their life around you, they are 'boilers'.

So yeah, she would fit in the 'bunny boiler' category I think.

Boilers in instances where love is not being reciprocated, will call a thousand times a day and hang up. Maybe leave voicemail. They show up at places they know you will be. Drive past your house constantly, maybe park up and spy on you.

They BOIL your rabbits if you have any!!!!....lols

[qwertz]

[QUOTE=therealjag;581939]

1) Seem normal at first, but when they start to tell you about how hard their life is/was then be careful.

you mean open up over time?
2)

Have been through a really difficult period in their life, like parents divorced. Not always a bad sign as it happens to a lot of people but it can leave some kids emotionally scarred.

and this makes them a bunny boiler? really?

3) Say for example you get to know them a bit better and they say no one can love you more than I ever will. If you hear that it may be too late, but run if you can

ok that is a bit mushy

4) Tell you how crap their mum and dad or siblings are

some peoples parents/siblings really are..

5) Are very open and honest. I know this sounds strange but if they tell you that they are a person who is very open and honest and likes to be told up front and tells people what they are always thinking it can mean someone who is very selfish and doesnt care about other peoples feelings...even though when he/she says it, it makes them think they are coming across as a good person.

see #2

6) Text and call you a lot, and reply very quickly to texts even though you have just met them. can mean they are thinking about you a lot, maybe a bit too much...like an obsession - aaarrggh!!

maybe they were just free when you text..or like to be punctual and not actually play games by waiting a certain amount of time before replying

7) Tell you they are really really shy and unconfident but seem to talk quite a lot on the first date(s)

. nerves can make people talk alot.

8) Dont seem to have a lot of friends and have just one or two very close friends and everyone else is just an acquantance who they talk to once in a while

.see #2

8) When they meet your friends for the first time they dont seem to hit it off...usually cos she/he is having to share you with your mates and they want you all to themselves *evil laugh

screams insecurity

9) Cant stand rejection and do whatever they can so they dont get rejected, even contemplate suicide. For example when trying to not contact them or break up with them.

headcase

[xxazurexx]

actually yeah im at work just now and should be doing that but this has been on my mind so wanted to get it out...

if there is a general consensus though that no one likes my original post I'll delete it. Dont really want to offend anyone just trying to help people in a weird kind of way...although im guessing so far its not helpful!

You are doing the same as everyone else here......posting. I see nothing wrong in it and am unsure why you think this thread would offend?

[Gigabitch]

I wish people came with references.

[qwertz]

( 10 chars )

[therealjag]

yeah well i dont want anyone to think im having a personal attack at people because they have been through or done any of the things ive said. I'd also like to note again that the points made are a collective and some points, like for example the divorce one, shouldnt be taken on its own cos some people have came out of them fine and are healthy normal human beings.

Yeah references would be nice or maybe if they came with an operating manual to show what can make them malfunction!

[qwertz]

yeh just for clarification it doesnt offend.

i would actually prefer a money back guaruntee

[xxazurexx]

yeah well i dont want anyone to think im having a personal attack at people because they have been through or done any of the things ive said. I'd also like to note again that the points made are a collective and some points, like for example the divorce one, shouldnt be taken on its own cos some people have came out of them fine and are healthy normal human beings.

Yeah references would be nice or maybe if they came with an operating manual to show what can make them malfunction!

Sometimes there aint no reason for people being the shitty people they are.....they were just born that way.

Too many people are quick to blame the past, for the way they turn out.

End of the day people can change....they don't have be big turds and if they don't want to be.

A lot of the stuff you said, doesn't make her a boiler. My parents divorced, I don't speak to my dad, I don't have many close friends (Im choosy in who I confide in and place my trust). I'm one of the most open and honest people you would meet.....quite simply I believe in honesty and saying what I think.....but Im not a shit LOL

But she is sure obsessed with you it seems....hence 'boiler', as 'obsession' is what motivates a boiler.

[therealjag]

wow so you have been through a few of those experiences except you exhibit no form of wierdness at all...that maeks me think that there may be something else going on.

makes me wish I did a degree in pyschology now rather than bloody systems engineering! I guess though Im trying to do the normal engineer thing which is to try and come up with a solution to a problem...

anywayz Ive said too much! if people start finding out that Im a geek, I'll loose my street cred!

Peace Out...homies!