What Should I Do?

[CLB90]

This may be a little bit long so sorry for that, but about a month ago I started talking with a girl in one of my classes. I noticed she would walk by herself when class was done, so one day I introduced myself to her and we began to walk and talk after every class. Well I've asked her out twice and each time she has said that she wants to get to know me better (one time was when we first met so I could understand that). Well now all of a sudden this other guy that sits next to her in class is walking with her too on occasion because I think he gets a ride from her. But whenever this happens I try to be polite and not get involved with them. So I'm trying to figure out if she thinks I'm like a stalker or if she has no interest in me? Our last class is coming up on Thursday and I was kinda hoping I could ask her out one last time but It's kinda hard when you got another guy around you. Any thoughts on what I should do? Thanks for the help

[lahnnabell]

When you asked her out, what did you have in mind? Perhaps she would rather see you socially first, instead of investing time into a big dinner and a movie date. Maybe you can invite her out with you and some friends one night. Show her that you like to have fun. This will give you guys a fun setting to get to know one another in. Maybe invite her to eat lunch with you sometime. Simply going out on a dinner date can be daunting. The circumstances are never right for trying to have an honest, get-to-know-you conversation (in my opinion). This is especially true if the restaurant is very formal. I am more comfortable wearing jeans and t-shirts and taking a walk in the park. It leaves more time for the actual purpose of the date (to get to know one another), instead of putting on a show by planning some elaborate date.

[CLB90]

When I asked her out I simply said "Maybe we could go out sometime" and I was just trying to get to know here a little bit better and she even said "maybe we can do lunch sometime" and I told her that I would like that. I'm not trying to really invest in a big dinner yet, I just want to take it one step at a time if that makes sense. So for example I would take her out to lunch and once that was done I would tell her that I had a good time and that we should hangout again sometime and wait to see what she says from there. But my biggest problem is this other guy that is now all of sudden walking with her too.....I can't really get her alone to ask her.

[girl68]

and when she said maybe we could do lunch what did you say? did you ask for anumber to arrange to call her later to plan? did you suggest a place? did you ask her what she would want to eat or did you simply say "yeah, okay". there's a huge banner on your forhead blinking FLAKE if you don't actaully ask her out.

[lahnnabell]

This guy is supposed competition. It's gonna be very easy for her to weed out who she is attracted to based on who pursues her more actively. Other things come into play too, but you haven't gotten that far yet. You have to take the next step. Ask her for her number so that you can make plans. You got lazy and thought maybe she doesn't have any other options, right? Well, she didn't have options that were obvious to YOU! Learn to treat each woman you desire as though you are lucky to be in her presence. I'm not saying grovel, but when you have an opportunity, don't pass it up.

[CLB90]

I think she realizes that I like her,I mean I've asked her out twice and I even caught up with her when she was way ahead of me walking one day just so I could talk to her.I'm not sure what other sign she needs from me but see, that's why I'm wondering if she might think Im a stalker and she has this other guy there to help protect her. Thats why this is so confusing to me, I thought we had a good thing going. I mean if this guy isn't around her on Thursday then I won't have any problem talking with her and eventually asking her again out but if he is around her then Im gonna be out of luck I guess.

[lahnnabell]

Ugh. Did you listen to what I said? You're still dancing around. Did you get her number, or not?

[CLB90]

No I didn't get it yet. Hopefully like I said I can get a chance to ask her on Thursday though

[lahnnabell]

Okay. Do it. Quit making excuses for your lack of action. Who cares if she's not alone? You gotta get over it. And if she turns you down? There will be others. Take it as a learning experience. But you're never going to get anywhere by making excuses for the things you clearly didn't want that badly in the first place.

[CLB90]

So let me see if I follow you correctly, you want me to ask her for her number even if this other guy is around? I mean Im not scared to ask her out it's just hard if this other guy is around because it makes it awkward as hell if you can imagine that. My problem is this other guy not the fear of asking her out but we'll see how it goes. Hopefully everything works out, Thanks for all your help

[girl68]

Say hey Joanne, can I call you later to make plans for that lunch we're supposed to have? That shows her you're no flake and you DO in fact want to see her.