Double standards

[vashti]

Guys are indoctrinated by their parents early in life: YOU DON"T HIT GIRLS! Don't know that girls are taught the same lesson about guys. .

They are in MY house... as a matter of practicality, I tell my daughter NEVER to hit boys, because you never know which one is going to hit back, and she's a wimp.

[doppelgaenger]

I get to spank my gf plenty in bed. If she ever felt like I deserved a good smacking for something I said or did, I'd let her. Of course, later on she's going to get more spankings anyway

[IndiReloaded]

All of the things I was about to say in response to this thread were just interrupted by thoughts of Shakespeare wearing a wife beater. Good job.

To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there's the rub.

[Incognito]

did is say slap? i actually punched him in the head. more than once. and he begged for more.

That's kinda funny.

Well, what, exactly, would you think he should do? Blacken her eye? Knock her down? Maybe the best self-defense is to avoid hanging around with people who hit you.

I'm not trying to pick you out of the crowd Gigabitch because I really respect you, but you're still asking more questions and not stating why you think it would be alright for a woman to hit a man without expecting retaliation. To simply say to not hang around people who would hit you is dodging the question.

Why in the world would a woman slap a man if it wasn't fueled by some emotion like anger or hurt? Are you telling me that people just go up to others and slap them with the intention of walking away and forgetting about it? Like it's a bodily function of some sorts? "I haven't slapped you yet today, please come here." Men hit women out of anger and frustration. It is directly linked to our emotions and need to protect ourselves from outside forces we feel that we cannot control. The only time this doesn't apply consistently is during sports.

If my boyfriend laughed at my friend because she fell down, I would nudge him on the shoulder as a way to say, "That wasn't funny. She could have hurt herself." It is in defense of her friend's sudden misfortune (falling down). This is tied to an emotion. She was angry because the guy was amused by someone else's misfortune. More importantly a person she cares about. Granted a full punch to the face sounds like overkill in that situation, and I think that would rarely happen in reality.

You don't sound very emotionally aware of yourself or how you come off to people.

I remember my sister, her husband, and I went out together one night. My sister and I are very close and I'm very protective of my family. We were heading to the front of the line at the House of Blues that night because we'd gotten our tickets early. It was raining and my sister was wearing a cute white shirt and was huddling next to her husband and running inside. Some douche from the line shouted, "Should've worn black, bitch!" I whipped right around and picked him out in line. I marched right up to his face and said, "What did you just say?" His eyes widened and he tried to look dumbfounded and mumbled, "Nothing." I looked directly into his eyes for 5 seconds and said, "Good. Keep it that way." I don't take kindly to people who disrespect my loved ones. My brother-in-law said the guy came up to us later on that night to apologize. I don't remember 'cause I was druuuunk

I also respect your comments lahnnabell, but you're doing the same thing. Yes some people are physically abusive because they expect no consequences. Anyway, I don't care what the situation is.....why do you feel that a woman doesn't deserve equal treatment if she physically harms someone? The highlighted portion has appeared in many of your posts also, and while I can understand you stance because of your past experiences, it also tells me that you are bit bias. I'll also flat out tell you that you're wrong about me not being "emotionally aware of myself or how I come off to people". That is an assumption of yours, and you're wrong. I am simply asking a question that is seemingly being dodged at every turn while defended.

[lahnnabell]

Give me a situation in which some sort of physical abuse is directly related to a person that does not expect consequences. Where no emotion whatsoever is involved. Please.

And I have already answered your other question. It is NOT okay for a woman to hit a man. EVER. I don't understand whose posts you've been reading. I do not think it is okay. No person deserves equal treatment. I think that whether you are a man or a woman is irrelevant. NO HUMAN should ever hit another UNLESS you feel that you are in extreme physical harm and need to defend yourself from being severely hurt or killed.

[Incognito]

Thank you for making a specific statement that was aimed at my specific question. There was no need to get upset. It just seemed that you always made a blanket statement about it being wrong for anyone to physically harm someone without addressing exactly what I had a question about. Perhaps I missed a post in which you did, but I'm only human. Again, thank you clearly stating your position. It would seem that there aren't many women who believe in the lopsided notion as I originally thought (at least here anyway). The next time I run into a woman who does, I suppose I'll just have to debate with her specifically.

[IndiReloaded]

you're still asking more questions and not stating why you think it would be alright for a woman to hit a man without expecting retaliation.

Its not. And if he doesn't hit her back, her luck and his credit.

This is an old, old topic we've discussed before. My personal opinion is that, generally, males are more emotionally controlled than women. It gets many women's backs up when I post this, but I think its true. As for reasons, I believe its a combination of biology and conditioning: men are more testosterone driven. When there is a confrontation b/t males that escalates to physical violence, then historically someone ends up dead. So males learn not to 'lose it' unless they are prepared to go all the way. Or they are stupid, but those are selected out by the same mechanism. Still, testosterone builds up which is the reason for traditional 'male-bonding' activities where they beat on each other.

Women know this, and take advantage of it in a number of ways. Including 'testing' males and pitting them against each other for sexual favour. The ideal male mate is one that is intelligent (i.e. can control oneself appropriately for a situation) and can kill to protect/feed the family when necessary.

Women are more emotionally driven, which has definite biological advantages esp as regards childrearing, but if they were also larger and stronger than men (which means their testosterone levels would be higher), this would be a bad combination and is selected against. Can't have women getting angry and killing their own children, or others.

[starbuck]

I think that this double standard is re-enforced culturally. In pop culture, when a woman hits a man, often it's treated like a joke. Did you ever see those pictures of Tiger Woods photoshopped so that it looked like he had a black eye and a golf club lodged into his head? If it were the other way around and Tiger were a female who had cheated on her male husband, that joke would have appalled more people, IMO.

I think these jokes exist because the idea of a woman being able to physically hurt a man challenges the male notion of being stronger and more dominant. Anything that challenges this could make a man seem like less of a man. So you have women (and men) taking violence against men lightly, mostly because culturally, they've been given the green light to.

I think it's misleading to frame this debate as one about women's equality, when the alpha male stereotype does more to feed this double standard than a woman's need to feel equal does.

I'm not justifying anyone's stance on this, just stating why I think it exists.

[JasonVoorhees]

I would never touch a woman myself no matter how much angry she made me, im too much of a relax person.
But thinks like this happen, there are even man that are hit by woman ocasionaly like there are woman.
violence in a relationship is bad, but not everyone has the same temper , so if a man hits back after a woman hits him then he should not be judged because it was done by instinct mostly and anger.
So what if woman are none to be weaker? if i know im weaker then someone, then i dont go on and hit him if im gonna get my ass beaten anyway.
Personaly, i never touched a woman, and i will avoid it at the cost of everything, but once i get hit , my adrenaline is hard to controll and im sure if a woman would hit me and hurt me, i would probably beat the hell out of her. but if she was weak and didnt hurt me, i would probably lough and get away so i dont get hit again.
but thats just me, and my opinion, in no way i think i doo good. just found the topic intresting and wanted to comment

[lahnnabell]

You can't control your adrenaline, but you can learn to control the emotional mechanism in your brain that outputs it.

[Doc Durian]

All of the things I was about to say in response to this thread were just interrupted by thoughts of Shakespeare wearing a wife beater. Good job.

I've felt compelled to actively investigate my environmental and inherit mores since childhood regarding gender... amongst numerous other topics.

I came to the conclusion that I didn't recognize a valid difference as both genders have souls...

... and souls... hormones and body mass aside, are what makes us human.

So when some soul attempts to maim or destroy another soul, physically or mentally, a good soul should do everything in their power to completely remove themselves from that situation.

Obviously, it's not always the easiest to do... particularly in soft assaults.

BUT... in a situation where no retreat is possible and no passive stone is left unturned... a good soul has the right, duty in fact, to pick up one of those turned stones and bash the living bejeebus out of the other soul with whatever minimal intensity is required in order to restore safety and continue existence, physically or mentally (often both)

Watching Animal Planet/National Geographic/Discovery was the clincher to this belief... although personal experiences forged the main thrust of it.

Walk softly and carry a big stick... who originally coined that?

[IndiReloaded]

So when some soul attempts to maim or destroy another soul, physically or mentally, a good soul should do everything in their power to completely remove themselves from that situation.

+1

That's a very aikido-like philosophy, Doc.

[doppelgaenger]

Oh Jesus, take that shit back to the dojo.

[SirWagginston]

Walk softly and carry a big stick... who originally coined that?

I already picture Teddy Roosevelt wearing a wife beater.

[Gribble]

They are in MY house... as a matter of practicality, I tell my daughter NEVER to hit boys, because you never know which one is going to hit back, and she's a wimp.

We had to teach my sister the same thing. It was kind of sad, though. She's a tough cookie, and when she was a wee thing on the playground, and roughly equal in strength to the boys, she went around kicking everyone's butts. Now she's a proper girl and she knows not to hit boys because if any boys hit her they'll have to be dismantled piece by piece and I'll probably go to prison for that. She also knows not to do drugs for much the same reason.