How many times do I have to say no...

[LailaK]

So my boyfriend and I started having sex and I made it very clear to him that I wasn't going to have sex with him without a condom. I was off birth control for a while but now I'm back on the pill. The pill needs to go through a full cycle before it's affective and during that time we need to use a second form of bc. Not only that, I insist on using condoms to protect myself from disease as well.

Now, this may seem weird but I think it's the guys job to bring condoms to the party. It's my job to be on birth control but he needs to do his part as well. Bringing condoms show that he respects me and cares about my health.

My boyfriend keeps "forgetting" to get condoms and when he does this I'm always nicer than I should be. He usually get's a blow job and I usually end up being unsatisfied. He always pressures me to have sex anyway. HE KNOWS MY BC ISN'T AFFECTIVE YET! I'VE TOLD HIM!

I'm always firm with him. I always say no. Except for a couple of days ago. I was so horny I had sex with him anyway. I was so mad at myself afterwards. I had to go to the pharmacy to get the morning after pill. That shit made me sick all day and it all could have been avoided if I'd stuck to my guns.

I'm starting to not only get mad at myself but I'm starting to get pissed at him as well. I'm not the type of girl who nags and complains. I've always told him how I feel in a calm manner but now I'm angry. I feel like he doesn't respect me enough to protect me with condoms. I feel like he doesn't respect me enough to understand that "no means no" and he should stop trying to put his penis in my vagina at that point. It's not like I don't take care of him. He gets a blow job! He gets to come! I DON'T.

At this point I don't even want to see his face. I've been avoiding talking to him. I have no desire to see him or have sex with him ever again. It's only been a few weeks but I'm so over it.

Am I overreacting?

[Gigabitch]

I'm always firm with him. I always say no. Except for a couple of days ago. I was so horny I had sex with him anyway.

Because of this you will have to say no every damned day until the end of time. What the **** were you thinking? Actions speak louder than words, and your actions said, "If you bug me enough, I will buckle."

Nice job, Lalia. Damn.

[vashti]

You want him to wear a condom to protect against disease, but you put his penis in your mouth? For the record, pretty much whatever you can get through your vagina (other than a baby), you can ALSO get through your mouth.

I don't know why you wouldn't just buy a box of condoms if you know this is a recurrent problem. There is no reason for him to remember them... he's getting his either way.

[LailaK]

I knoooooooooooooow! I'm so pissed at myself. It was stupid, stupid, stupid.

Now I'm sitting here seriously ready to throw my relationship away. We don't fight, but I see us fighting a lot about this in the future and I'm not down with that. I'm mad at myself more than I'm mad at him.

Also, if I buy condoms it doesn't solve for the fact that he doesn't respect me. That's the real problem. There's also the problem that he's a selfish lover. I seem to care more about him getting his than he cares about me getting mine. This is a cluster f**k and I don't deal with drama. I'd rather fire him and move on to someone else.

[davidtorres]

looks guys will always initiate and its up to you to give in or NOT give in.

[lahnnabell]

I'm also concerned about the fact that he "pressures" you to have sex. A respectful guy will back OFF. If I ever said, "No" to my boyfriend he would respect that and not push it. One of my exes pulled that shit on me. One night we were sitting quietly, cuddling and relaxing because I had explicitly stated I didn't want to do anything sexual. I just wanted to be held. Lo and behold, 1/2 hour later he starts making a move. I told him "No" sweetly and firmly. Later on, STILL tries. I finally screamed at him, "What part of NO don't you get?!"

You were entirely correct to abstain from having sex if that's what you wanted and instead of giving you the space to initiate, he resorted to prodding you to see if you'd bend. Kind of like when a child stands by his/her mother and stares at her because he wants something. Ugh.

I think it's fair that if you are being responsible enough to take your BC correctly, then he can do you a favor (which you explicitly asked of him) and show up with condoms. He has not done this at all. He does not respect you. He probably will respect you even less now that he knows you don't hold to your convictions. Get rid of him.

[LailaK]

I always want to have sex. I have a very high sex drive. I rarely turn down sex unless it's a special case like this one where: I don't want to have a baby.

If he's trying to put his penis in my vagina and I say not without a condom and then two minutes later he's trying to put his penis in my vagina, that's a problem. Whatever, I think the main reason I was with him was because I was horny and tired of being single and he seemed like a nice guy. I'm breaking it off today.

[lahnnabell]

Nothing wrong with being a horny lady, but guys don't get special rights to exploit that trait. And he's a selfish lover, huh? What a terrible combination. Be prepared for him to whine at you, since he has the oh-so-mature tactics of a 3-year old.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8]YouTube - Family Guy - Lois Mom Mum Mommy[/url]

[Incognito]

I can appreciate having a high sex drive, but you cannot let that decide who you'll have a relationship with because you end up where you are now. Learn how to please yourself until a worthy man enters your life. He sounded both selfish and stupid. You are so much better off without him.

[vashti]

If he's trying to put his penis in my vagina and I say not without a condom and then two minutes later he's trying to put his penis in my vagina, that's a problem.

Isn't that what all males do?

This is the thing: if a girl REALLY wants a guy to back off, she needs to make her body language match her words. You can't say "no, no" while making out with and rubbing up against a male without expecting him to keep trying to put it in you.

If you say no, and quit letting him rub up against you, and quit kissing him, my guess is that the vast majority of guys would have backed off.

[qwertz]

Maybe he just 'forgot' the condoms cause' he knew he would get a blow job in the end?

When you say no (and actually mean it) you cant continue to tease him and expect him to not try his luck again. No means no if you show it means no.

[LailaK]

I ended it and he whined. I couldn't care less.

I'm really over giving men so many excuses to fall back on. I really dislike the idea of our health and baby-free existence being solely my responsibility.

I'm feeling bitchier by the day and it's really bothering me. I used to want nothing more than to find a guy I can cook for, be domestic for and screw within an inch of his sanity. Nowadays I think I'd be happier finding a guy who could provide a good lay and then get the f*ck out of my face.

I really hope this bad mood passes.

[dewilliams2]

I don't know...I'm not really sure where to go with this.

On the one hand my gf doesn't make me wear a condom but she has an iud and we've both been tested and we are clean so I never wear a condom. If she asked me to I would but I mean I think it doesn't hurt for a woman to also have some just to be safe...I mean believe it or not we do on occasion forget things.

If I had a daughter I'd give her a condom just like I would give my son and tell them while I'd appreciate them to wait to have sex....if they don't they'd better use it or something will itch and burn and then fall off before they die a slow painful death.

My point is that I think women as well as men should carry condoms....I mean if right now my gf wanted to have sex and wanted me to wear a condom....I'm out...but I know she has some in the drawer next to her side of the bed.

[lahnnabell]

I don't know...I'm not really sure where to go with this.

On the one hand my gf doesn't make me wear a condom but she has an iud and we've both been tested and we are clean so I never wear a condom. If she asked me to I would but I mean I think it doesn't hurt for a woman to also have some just to be safe...I mean believe it or not we do on occasion forget things.

If I had a daughter I'd give her a condom just like I would give my son and tell them while I'd appreciate them to wait to have sex....if they don't they'd better use it or something will itch and burn and then fall off before they die a slow painful death.

My point is that I think women as well as men should carry condoms....I mean if right now my gf wanted to have sex and wanted me to wear a condom....I'm out...but I know she has some in the drawer next to her side of the bed.

She's not saying she isn't willing to buy condoms, but it was this guy's continuous "forgetfulness" that lead her to feel disrespected. She explicitly asked him to buy condoms and he very conveniently forgot more than once. I think her expectations were fair. If I'm taking responsibility for taking my pill accurately and regularly then the least he can do is come packin'. He thought he was gonna get away with it, and he did once.

I'm interested to hear how you broke it off Laila. I knew he was gonna whine like a bitch.

[Incognito]

LOL. I figured that he'd whine too because he sounded immature and inconsiderate because of his actions.