I met someone on Saturday, now I'm depressed...

[Incognito]

Yeah, well Saturday started out as a pretty good day. I went paintballing for a few hours, had a great time, and did a few other things when I got back. Oh yeah, my wife and her daughter were out of town again and I was loving it. Anyway after much indecision about what I was going to eat I ended up trying to go to a Thai restaurant. I couldn't find the one I was looking for and ended up trying out another Thai restaurant that happened to be right in front of where I was parked.

I noticed a woman go in before I got out of my car. I didn't pay her too much attention because I had no idea who she was. Well I go in place a carry out order and sit down near the door. I felt out of place sitting by the door where the rest of the diners could see me, so I got up and went to the bar area. The woman was already sitting there, and I asked if she minded me sitting up there. She said, "no", and immediately began talking to me. She was getting carry out too, and her food came out a few minutes after I sat down. Regardless of that she kept talking to me. I learned that she is originally from New York, but lived in Missouri for a while before coming to Baltimore. She likes spicy food, and currently lives in Clarksville. I told her about how I used to live in Houston, and how nice it was. I let her in on my abhorance of Baltimore and Maryland as a whole (in a light hearted way of course) and how I like to cook.

We talked for almost 20 minutes before she decided to get up. I told her my name at that point and told her to enjoy her food. She smiled, told me her name, said goodbye and walked out the door. I continued to wait for my food when she came back inside. She said, "I hope I'm not being too forward, but here is my card with my number and such in case you want to call me or get together". I said "No you're not being too forward. Its fine", and took the card.

I was wearing my ring the whole time. I don't know if she simply didn't see it, or didn't care that I am married. At first I felt like a million bucks, but that quickly faded when reality set in. The reality being that I am married. I rarely just "click" with people enough to want to see them again, but I really "clicked" with her. Its not like she was a California 10 and I was enamored with her looks, she was averagely attractive. She was very very nice and interesting though.

I went home ate my food and was very depresed. I got up on Sunday and was even more depressed for the rest of the day. My wife got home later, aroung 6pm. Within 15 minutes she started asking questions. Why is this like this? Why is there a box of beer taking up the whole refrigerator? I told her that the beer came in the box as a variety pack and I stuck it in there before I even opened it. She started groaning, so I said "if it is such a big deal I will put the rest of them in the drawer at the bottom". She said "no, just forget about it" in her typical pissed off fashion. And of course the whole time her daughter is jumpiing into the converstaion, so I had to tell her to shut her mouth because this adult converstaion didn't involve her. That's when my reality really set in and I just wanted to go somewhere secluded for a week, but that would only give me a brief respite from my problems and deplete my vacation time.

I went to sleep last night thinking about the woman I met on Saturady. It took me a while to finally fall asleep.

[xxazurexx]

Crikey, maybe I'm just old fashioned but I think that woman was a bit forward, as in handing over her number to a guy she met in a cafe and only chatted to for 20 minutes. She made herself available to you, almost immediatley and more or less threw herself at you and it kinda makes me wonder how many other guys are carrying her number around? If she failed to miss your ring, then she's obviously blind, or she doesn't give a jack you are married, which says a lot for her morals.

I think you should just rip her number up and forget about her, incase you are tempted to call. No good can come out a situation like this

[Luciel]

Well... meeting up with this new person can´t do bad, if anything if might give you some answers, however make sure to wear your ring and not hide anything, in the end, hiding it could just bring you problems, if these feelings grow, i would consider sitting down with your wife and talk your marriage through, and see what conclusion you get too.

[vashti]

Bittersweet. I think THAT is what your situation is.

[xxazurexx]

Well... meeting up with this new person can´t do bad, if anything if might give you some answers, however make sure to wear your ring and not hide anything, in the end, hiding it could just bring you problems, if these feelings grow, i would consider sitting down with your wife and talk your marriage through, and see what conclusion you get too.

Think I would advise that he sits down with the wife first and discuss things, before he heads off anywhere and to meet a woman for whom his feelings may grow....

[vashti]

His wife isn't having sex with him, and as I recall, they have had MANY discussions..

[xxazurexx]

His wife isn't having sex with him, and as I recall, they have had MANY discussions..

Then he should end the marriage if he has tried everything and is not happy.

Why introduce a 'third' party and to add further problems?

[Incognito]

Thanks to everyone. I can't say that I am overly confused about what to do or not to do, but just depressed about the whole situation. I tend to get "caught up" easily with regards to emotional situations, so I won't be calling her. I did send her an email this morning though outlining that I enjoyed our conversation and that I am married. I told her that I am not a cheater. I said that if/when my marriage ends that I want the next woman to be able to have total faith in my fidelity.

[Incognito]

Crikey, maybe I'm just old fashioned but I think that woman was a bit forward, as in handing over her number to a guy she met in a cafe and only chatted to for 20 minutes. She made herself available to you, almost immediatley and more or less threw herself at you and it kinda makes me wonder how many other guys are carrying her number around? If she failed to miss your ring, then she's obviously blind, or she doesn't give a jack you are married, which says a lot for her morals.

I think you should just rip her number up and forget about her, incase you are tempted to call. No good can come out a situation like this

I hadn't really thought about her forwardness being a sign of her passing her info out willy-nilly. I didn't get that impression about her at all. Like I said she was not drop dead gorgeous, she was average. I think that she just dropped her card with me because we clicked so well. As far as the ring goes I did think about that. I know that you women can typically spot a ring across the room, which is why I was surprised that she still gave me her info. I did keep the card because I would want to contact her in the event that my marriage ends.

[Incognito]

Well... meeting up with this new person can´t do bad, if anything if might give you some answers, however make sure to wear your ring and not hide anything, in the end, hiding it could just bring you problems, if these feelings grow, i would consider sitting down with your wife and talk your marriage through, and see what conclusion you get too.

I did consider this, believe me I did, but xxazurexx is right that no good can come of this right now.

[Incognito]

Then he should end the marriage if he has tried everything and is not happy.

Why introduce a 'third' party and to add further problems?

I haven't had sex since late december. The only thing that I haven't tried is counseling. I just can't see myself paying someone else $120.00 per hour for their opinion. I'll keep looking to see if I can find someone with a cheaper rate, but most are at or above that rate.

[Gigabitch]

You don't really want the kind of woman who would give her number to a married man. She doesn't fit into your moral code.

It was pretty flattering, though. You should tell your wife what happened. I'd love to see the look on her face. I get the feeling that just because she doesn't want you, she thinks no one else does.

[Incognito]

Thanks Gigabitch. If I could give you three thanks for that post I would. I think that I will tell her. I have a feeling that she'll get all pissed off that I even took the card in the first place, but whatever. Its not like she'll withhold sex for punishment, lol.

[Gigabitch]

its not like she'll withhold sex for punishment, lol.

baaaahahahahahaaa!

[the_robot]

If you don't mind me asking.. why are you with your wife if you are unhappy with her?