really confused!! <guys perspective pls!!!!>

[sunluna]

so i've been on and off with the same guy for about two years (its been tough because of the distance). although recently we've been talking again and he asked what i was doing on my bday and flipped out when he heard guys were going to a pool party with my friends and i. hes been pissed and hasnt txted so i tried talking to him two days later and he shrugged me off and said "he was busy" and couldn't talk....
i just need to know am i at fault? and what should i do next? i dont want to come off as desperate because im not but it bothers me that hes still angry with me..

[jamie2010taylor]

depends how much you like him. he clearly cares about you and feels rather protective, but the fact that he was that easily pissed is a sign of immaturity. If he was just generally having a bad day he would have gotten over it by now. If i was you i wouldnt text him, let him know he's hurt you, and if he really does care the next time he responds it will be with an apology and a reason for his behaviour. And after two years of knowing him it is unlikely he would discard your relationship over something as petty as that, but if he chooses to then he's just not worth it.
hope this helps,

[sunluna]

thanks for the advice.. i'm 19 he's 23 you'd think he'd be the mature one here. he hasn't spoken to me since i don't know i guess it's really over ..

[sehvral]

Distance can make people insecure, especially if you've been apart for a while. But that's his problem, not yours. I agree with jamie, leave him be, wait for him to contact you. He's gotta realize you're not okay with how he acted.

[7sins]

Distance can make people insecure, especially if you've been apart for a while. But that's his problem, not yours. I agree with jamie, leave him be, wait for him to contact you. He's gotta realize you're not okay with how he acted.

Really? you dont view that as one bit selfish? they are in a long distance relationship and insecurities will arise, but she aint helping it. maybe you like the type of relationship where one does what they want regardless of the others feelings?

but yes he is being abit immature, call him and talk about it. see what you both want, and try to come to a compromise. If not then break it off?

[sehvral]

She didn't do anything inappropriate here. I'm not suggesting she should go out and do whatever she wants regardless of his opinion, but come on. She's talking about going to party with a mixed group. If she can't be around guys without her BF flipping out, that's not HER problem. She shouldn't have to avoid guys just because her BF can't control his insecurities.

She tried to talk to him about it and he blew her off. At this point, she should leave him alone until he grows up and calls to apologize.

[MM894]

It's not your fault that he's insecure by any stretch. I agree with 7sins though. Call him again and see if he's cooled down and have a talk about this. If he chooses to ignore you again, then yeah, that's on him and not you. I don't think ignoring him is the right move, even if you're not at fault, because it's only going to amplify his insecurities and probably hurt in the long run. The problem I think mainly is that if you guys have been off and on so much, he's probably afraid you're finding someone else if you're going out with guys on your birthday.

Honestly at the core here is that you need to be more definitive about what's between you two. It's not alright no matter what that he's being grumpy about you spending time with other guys. I could understand a bit why he's sensitive about it if you two are on shaky ground, and I think a lot of his insecurity in this situation probably arises from that

[peterp]

He really seems to be interested in you, but you have to be a proud women and not accept him back if he go away from you.

[xxazurexx]

You've tried texting and recieved no reply. He's not stupid and he will know you have tried to contact him.

The ball is now in his court.

Don't text him or call him.

He will be back and likely when he's simmered down a bit.

[Neo(n)]

To me, he seems like the jealous type. Are you two together atm???

He obviously likes you but is dealing with his jelousy wrongly. The fact that you going to a party with other guys has made him angry either means; he thinks your going to go off with another guy and forget about him becasue he's either not good enough for you or he doesn't trust you, he's annoyed because he wasn't invited or he thinks you don't want him to go and are rubbing it in his face.

Those are extreme cases and as i don't know either of you personally i have no idea if either is true but thats for you to descide.

If you have tried to tlk to him and he's nudged you off, then try contacting him and telling him your worried about him becasue you haven't heard from him for a while and just want to make sure he's ok. If he replies with a blunt "I'm Fine" then confront him and ask him whats going on becasue he's been acting really wierdly lately.

Everything should unfold from there =)

[sunluna]

to Neo(n): what do you mean are we together atm?? sorry i've never heard that expression before. and i think your right when you said "he thinks your going to go off with another guy and forget about him becasue he's either not good enough for you or he doesn't trust you"; i just dont know how else to make him understand no i dont want anyone else and i love him verry much. youre also very right about him being the jealous type, its been something i've always dealt with him and it gets hard at time because i'm not jealous at all. the last thing he said was in the summer when im going up to where he lives to spend a month to basically forget about spending time with him since i'd rather spend time with friends then i should be doing that... very hurtful to say the least.

to peterp and xxazurexx: thanks for the advice i havent spoken with him as of yet its been about two weeks although 2 years is something to consider before throwing it away on a whim.

to MM894: you have a point eventually we will need to talk about it... i'll make sure to be precise with the questions i ask.

[xxazurexx]

He reminds me a lot of the guy I'm involved with. Like you and your guy, it's long distance and it's been going on 2 years.

The guy in my situation can get jealous too and if dare as much say, I'm going out for the night. He will accuse me of looking for other men, or shagging other men, etc and he resorts too not sending as many texts and the ones he does send are kinda insulting...

I just tend to ignore him when he's like this, or ask him what kind of woman he thinks I am, in that he thinks I would go out looking for guys, or to shag different men, lol....etc....
Once he gets assurance from me that Im not looking, he's ok again.

Thing is, you have text him and got no reply. That tells me he's still angry and isn't ready to talk yet. He will be back when he is.

[davidtorres]

why would u confused? hes jealous!

what do u do next? tell him your the only guy in my life. lol i should get paid for this. lol

[sunluna]

to xxazurexx: your totally right!!!! you know exactly where im coming from. Thinking about it now I probably should have been more sensitive about his jealousy issues idk i guess i just really wasnt in the mood that day. what was different this time is he never told me that when i went to visit to not count on him and when i said calm down and txt me later he said no i dont think so. he acted like such an ass he never said anything like that to me before. whatever i wont stress about it anymore.. the balls in his court.

[doppelgaenger]

Life is too short for indirect communication.