what does it take to be considered girlfriend material??

[cheeky&sexy]

Ok so im 20 years old and havent had a boyfriend since i was 14/15, and have only been on dates with 2 guys since then. Every guy ive ever been into since i was 16 has shown definate interest, lead me on, but chose another girl over me, and they all knew i liked them. They either already had a gf (2 guys), got back with an ex gf within 3 months (2 guys) or got a new gf within a few months (2 guys). im always the 'other girl' to 'THE girl' and i want to change this. i am tired of constantly being infatuated with guys who dont take me seriously and break my heart. i want to fall in love with someone who will love me back but it seems like every guy i meet just wants to have sex with me and doesnt see me as girlfriend material. I have had guys like me and want to be with me for more than sex, but this was before i grew boobs. before i was 17 i had close guy friends who were genuinely into me but i wasnt into them as more than a friend. This has happened with every close guy friend ive ever had, once they finally accept its not going to happen with us they stop being my friend. so i have no close guy friends anymore and havent since i was 17. and everyone i know and meet, girls and guys, r fascinated with my boobs and cant get past them cos im skinny so apparantly they look too perfect and fake. i dont dress like a slut but even when i was a virgin people thought i was easy cos i get a lot of guy attention and im a flirt and kiss a lot of guys, but that doesnt mean im sleeping with them i mean r people really that dumb? lately ive toned down the kissing though and have been trying my best not to lead guys on that im not into cos i dont want everyone to think im a tease.. but cos im nice, every guy thinks im into them! its like i have to tell them repeatedly n make it completely obvious by being rude sometimes for them to get the message and stop thinking im playing hard to get.

i try to show guys my best personality but i just dont think they can get past my body n not just see me as a sex object theyd like to have a bit of fun with but nothing more. I always end up feeling like a fool thinking they actually liked my personality as well, when they probably didnt care about my personality at all. i try so hard to get them to like me for me.. i make them laugh, we have fun, theyre always smiling when we interact, conversation flows easily and we get along great, we have chemistry and are attracted to each other, we have many cute flirty interactions and i feel like we are connecting very well. i dont know what the problem is, i feel like we'd make a great couple and they act like they think the same, but at the end of the day for some reason they choose another girl over me and probably only wanted me for sex.

What does it take for guys to see u as girlfriend material and not just a girl to have a bit of fun with but dont want anything serious with? i dont want to have to change my personality and be boring to be seen as the girlfriend type but if thats what it takes maybe i should try it because im tired of being lonely while most of the people i know are in relationships. it is really depressing me atm and has been for a long time.

[sehvral]

Well, based on what you've said, I'll start with: pics????

Just kidding, of course =)

If you're kissing random guys often enough that you can tone it down without eliminating it, you're definitely coming off as a floozie. Flirting and teasing is one thing, but making out with lots of guys is not what most people would call girlfriend behavior. These guys are hanging with you to see if you do more than kiss, and when you don't, they move on, writing you off as a tease. If I see you in a club several times, and every time you're making out with a new guy, my reaction isn't "I bet she'd make a great wife". In the twenties, you have two guys: the one who wants to nail everything with two legs (the type you attract by flirting excessively), and the one who actually wants to *date* someone (the type who care more about your intelligence, humor, etc than whether you'll make out with him the first time you meet).

To be really honest, you're not gonna have many close guy friends between 16 and about 26. In that range, if a guy approaches an attractive girl, it usually isn't because he's looking for a friend. I used to hang out often with two guys and a hot girl. She's now dating one of them, and there's drama with the other after he made a move on her. Welcome to the horny twenties =)

You want to be the life of the party, but still be taken seriously as a potential girlfriend? Ain't gonna happen. You're gonna have to tone down some things. You don't have to be *boring*, but you'll have to be more reserved when it comes to flirting, making out, etc. Nobody will buy something if you give it away for free. Despite what we may say, guys do like the chase, so make them work for it. Let him catch you too fast, he'll assume you're easy. Make him chase too long, he'll get bored.

One other thought: what kind of guys are you going after, and where are you meeting them? Maybe change up the venues, perhaps someplace where you can show off your, err, less-obvious assets.

[Envy]

Pretty much what is said above is sound advice ^

From my experience (never acted on these thoughts), but the girls I'd like to see as a girlfriend are always the ones that carry a caring and interactive character (hard to explain >_<). Where as the girls I have just fancied pretty much, are always the ones that show to play more, and don't hold a sense of reservedness (if that's even a word ). The one that will be good as a girlfriend is the one that will talk/discuss various interests for hours and hours before getting to the stage of sexual things. The girl that will never last is the one I don't know much about, but wants to play straight out the gate.

Maybe that's why I've always been the "I just want to be friends" guy, or because I have moral issues about sexual interaction. Will never know!

Apologies if my words aren't any good to your thoughts, maybe another guys perspective is useful though.

[cheeky&sexy]

This is in response to sehvral:

hahaha had to laugh at your first sentence.

your advice was really helpful thank u so much! i really like having a guys perspective cos i dont have guy friends i can talk to so reading this is making me smile already. you are so right and u have just made me realise that i want the best of both worlds: i want to be the life of the party and be free, but i also want a boyfriend. and its unrealistic to have both, i think i am just not ready to settle down yet but i dont want to be lonely so its really conflicting.

lol i mostly meet guys at local clubs, which i am aware is half the problem. but the thing is, none of my friends have single guy friends either so they dont have anybody to introduce me too. i went to an all girls school the last 2 yrs of high school which has contributed to my problem. and i dont meet any guys at uni, my only friends at uni are girls and i am hardly there anyway. and i have never had a job where i work with boys, only girls. so i feel like i dont have any other options except for the clubs. but a lot of my friends have gotten decent boyfriends from local clubs so i know it is possible, not every guy is going there looking for a one night stand. i guess if i really want to have a boyfriend i just need to change my behaviour but still be myself when meeting a guy. i just tend to flirt and give off sexual vibes without even thinking about it for so long now that i feel like i have to make a conscious effort not to do it.

After reading your post i can see why i am not coming across as girlfriend material, but i know that if i was into someone i would be a great girlfriend, but i guess i cant expect guys who dont know me to just know that im a good person with morals i have to show them. At the moment the guys i am going for are often players i must admit, i just seem to be more drawn to them because theyre not too serious and theyre confident. And i find the whole "game" scenario interesting and enjoy playing players back i have a lot of fun with them and playing games. I think the thing is i want a boyfriend but i dont want to commit to anything too serious because im not really ready to settle down and give up my current lifestyle. But at the end of the day i do want that special someone more than just a bit of fun with guys i hardly know, so im going to make an effort to not be a tease or come across as easy or desperate.

And in response to Envy:

thank u for your advice also, your perspective is useful too of course. alot of the stuff i responded to sehvral's post is what i wouldve responded to your post also. basically i think i am more sexually aggressive than i am aware of lol and i will take more time to learn about the guy rather than flirting so much so they will take me seriously. i think because i am so deprived of boys in my daily life, when i get to the clubs i just go crazy and want to jump all of them at once haha.

[Envy]

I don't have any female friends also, mainly because I'm a quiet sort of guy. I guess it makes things quite narrow.

Best thing to do is to live your life and be who you are. Eventually you'll naturally quieten down and someone will come along when you least expect it, from the most random of places.

[cheeky&sexy]

ok well feel free to PM me if u ever want to talk about girls or anything. Yeah i think i just need to naturally quieten down, people settle down when theyre ready and i am probably just not ready yet and everybody can see that. But ill still tone it down a bit and try to find a balance between both worlds.

[Envy]

I'm hopefully all sorted girl wise, the girl I'd consider my best friend / ex girlfriend (tell a lie, I have 1 female friend) wants me, I want her. Even after so long, although it's shame she's in Australia atm lol. Just have to stay loyal, committed and see.

Try going out difference places other than clubs etc. Restaurants, quieter bars etc IMO. The main objective doesn't have to be to meet someone, even if your just out with friends socializing and bump into someone. Atleast then you'll have an interesting story behind your partner other than, "We met in a club."

[unlit]

I agree with Sehvral above. And even though I'm not a guy, so I can't spell out what is considered 'girlfriend material', I will say that I think your frame of mind is a bit too narrow?

What I'm getting from your post is that you feel guys want to sleep with the hot girls, but not date hot girls. I don't believe this is true. I think a guy would love to have a beautiful, hot girlfriend. But she also needs to be classy, and not too high-maintenance. I think it's both a 'marriage material' thing, and a 'social status' thing. My boyfriend once cornered me and said "I love being the guy with the hot girlfriend." Which made me feel really good. I didn't take it as a superficial remark or anything. But I'm also smart and get on well with his friends and parents because I'm chill, low maintenance, don't try to be the center of attention, and can hold a legitimate conversation. That's right, you can have cleavage AND drink a glass of wine and discuss social psychology at the same time

Just because a girl is hot doesn't mean she has to come off as sleazy. It's how you carry yourself. And it depends on what you want yourself to be. But many girls try to put themselves into a category I find - the hot one, the smart one, the fun one, etc. You may have fallen into the trap of being 'the hot one'. The personality you have and think is great may be consistent with 'the hot one' - flirty, happy, youthful/borderline immature, girly, and not bitchy, so you think it's perfect. I don't know your personality so I won't list traits you should adopt because you may very well have them. But be aware of THINKING you have certain traits, when you actually don't. A lot of girls say "I'm nice, i'm smart, i'm low-maintenance, i'm fun, i'm funny.." when really, they're not low-maintenance or funny at all. Just something to note. I don't know if this is a problem for you or not.

But I get the impression you're comfortable as 'the hot one'. Even your screen name, cheeky&sexy, says that's how you see yourself - the hot one. There's nothing wrong with that in the beginning. I was there once. I was also 'the smart one' once. Now I consider myself well-rounded. And if you do come off as the limited 'hot one', but don't end up sleeping with these guys, then yeah, they're going to get bored and walk away. If you are well-rounded, then I think you wouldn't be having this problem as much.

As for the kissing thing. I understand how it could make you feel better about yourself, but if there's no real positive reason behind kissing a bunch of random guys all the time other than to have a quick thrill, then I don't see why you're doing it. Do you NEED to kiss these guys? I don't think so. You know you're pretty and hot, you don't need reassurance in that department, so this behavior is only destructive, and kind of pointless. I was there once though, but when I was 17, not 20. Toning it down is fine, but unless you really need that reassurance, just stop completely. But if you DO need that kind of reassurance, then that's a whole different problem...

You say you don't dress like a slut. How DO you dress then? Many times women don't realize they're dressing a little slutty because they aren't wearing stripper-shoes with a crop-top and fishnets. But If you're wearing mini-skirts with tops that give the girls some good air, that's a bit too much. Pick one physical trait to highlight, and cover the rest. It will help you achieve that balance of hot and classy.

[sehvral]

I really would suggest avoiding the club scene for the moment, especially the local uni clubs. I'm not in college anymore, but 99.999% of the guys there are just looking to get drunk and/or score.

As a backstory, I got out of a really nasty relationship when I was 20 (bad enough that I've still got some physical scars from the breakup when she flipped) and swore off dating for a while (about 4 years with an infrequent date here and there). And once I stopped looking, I couldn't believe how easy it really was to find single people. I actually met my best friend when I was 21 (who is female) when I was out kayaking and stumbled across her stuck on a barrier island (her kayak had a leak). I've met people in the uni library, at museums, bookstores, restaurants, etc.

You can date and still be flirty (to an extent), you can still go to clubs with your girlfriends, etc. But if you want a *real* BF/GF relationship, you'd have better luck finding guys somewhere else. Your first impression needs to be something other than "easy club girl" for you to even have a shot with a mature guy. You are young, just go out and experience a wide array of activities, join school clubs, take up some kind of physical hobby, visit all the different places your city has to offer, etc. Meet guys just as part of your normal day, and let them see your intelligence, your humor, etc. Be flirty, tease them, but make sure they can see from the start that you have some sort of substance to back up your looks. Once you've landed one, *then* you can let him see that you have a bit of a wild side. Most of us are fine with our GF's going out to clubs, dancing, partying, but it can't be taken to the extreme and shouldn't be the *first* thing we see about you. You can have a "loose" relationship in which you are committed (this does mean no more kissing random guys) without tight restrictions on activities, and at your age you'll find guys who are okay with that.

Plus, when you stay busy, you don't feel lonely nearly as much. It is those hours lazing on the couch watching reality shows when the loneliness really sets in.

[cheeky&sexy]

I'm hopefully all sorted girl wise, the girl I'd consider my best friend / ex girlfriend (tell a lie, I have 1 female friend) wants me, I want her. Even after so long, although it's shame she's in Australia atm lol. Just have to stay loyal, committed and see.

Try going out difference places other than clubs etc. Restaurants, quieter bars etc IMO. The main objective doesn't have to be to meet someone, even if your just out with friends socializing and bump into someone. Atleast then you'll have an interesting story behind your partner other than, "We met in a club."

Yeah lol i would like a better story than that, believe me if i met a guy outside a club i would jump on that chance, it just doesnt seem to happen. we only have 2 local clubs in the area its kind of limiting unfortunately.. same people all the time and its not very often my friends will go out further.

I hope it works out with your ex girlfriend. Is she going to be in Australia for long? Do u have to wait until she gets back to start something again with her or could u start a long distance relationship?

[Envy]

Yeah lol i would like a better story than that, believe me if i met a guy outside a club i would jump on that chance, it just doesnt seem to happen. we only have 2 local clubs in the area its kind of limiting unfortunately.. same people all the time and its not very often my friends will go out further.

I hope it works out with your ex girlfriend. Is she going to be in Australia for long? Do u have to wait until she gets back to start something again with her or could u start a long distance relationship?

Glad to hear you'll open the search, have a look in the thread about how people met, just goes to show!

We met in 2004, and she's been in Caloundra since 2006, 4 years! We've both had one serious relationship and acouple of other crushes since then, but it all comes back to it being me and her. We've stayed pretty close considering. Just waiting till she comes here next year, and then I'm hopefully going to go over to see what it's like, and if we have a future there. If it doesn't work out then never mind. Apologies for the thread hijack!

[cheeky&sexy]

this is in response to unlit.. i didnt want to quote the whole post cos it would take up too much space. im new to the forums, i hope its ok to do that? and im also wondering y every time i go to post something i get logged out lol any ideas?

thank u for taking the time to write a longish post for starters and for being so straight up honest. when i go out to a club, i always wear a dress that is not too short.. they r all the same theyre tight at the top and i will admit they do show off my boobs n can be tight around the top of my ribs but then the dress is not tight around my waist or my ass. i never wear a tight dress that shows off all assets at once. because my boobs are a bit big compared to my body, it is honestly impossible for me to buy a dress that is not going to show them off.. like i already will get the next size up sumtimes to compensate but then i will have to adjust the straps and take it up and/or in, i have to adjust almost every single dress i buy. i am not that out of proportion that it looks weird though, the boobs r not that big. it is just the way that dresses r made and what looks good on me, they just fit like that. but i do take a lot of notice of my dresses and i try to buy the expensive classier ones rather than trashy ones.. i would not be caught dead in a trashy dress believe me lol.

With the kissing random guys.. well i dont really kiss random guys that often anymore.. but just generally about kissing guys.. there is a few reasons why i do it. i will admit part of it is for that reassurance because i dont have very high self esteem and i like to feel wanted in some way. another reason is cos i dont really interact with guys much during my daily life, so when i get to the club its like omg boys and i just go a bit crazy, especially since i am drinking, i just get carried away. also if i am talking with a guy and he goes to kiss me, i feel like i dont want to reject him and pull away cos id feel mean and i dont want them to think i think im too good for them. i hate brushing off guys i feel like a really big snob.. but then u talk to them n they assume u r flirting so they go for it pretty quickly. and alot of the guys i do consider that i want to see them again.. until they get all sleezy on me but then its too late cos ive already kissed them.. then ill move onto the next guy where the same thing will happen at least 50% of the time.

I dont think i fall into a limited category of 'the hot one' though. I mean i know that the guys i like and spend time with are having fun because theyre always smiling and laughing at things i do and say, in a good way, and it seems very genuine. Ive had a couple of spontaneous slutty nights i will admit but that doesnt mean i should be labelled a slut because its a rare occasion for me to leave with a guy.. i just get a kick out of it and im careful with who i leave with and i dont regret any of it cos we have so much fun. it is just so hard being single for so long that sometimes i cant help myself, i am only human and i have an impulsive and adventurous personality.. all of those experiences have been extremely memorable and have a really funny story attached to it. But i do understand what u were saying in that paragraph, i just honestly do not believe it applies to me. Not saying ive never bored a guy before.. im sure i have but when it comes to the guys i am or have actually been interested in, i can say 100% that i havent bored them. If there is a problem there it is probably that i try too hard to not bore them and give them a great time, that i mite come across as trying too hard.

I agree with u, of course guys want to date hot girls. i didnt mean to give that impression off at all. all of my really pretty friends have boyfriends. i said that i feel like they cant get past my boobs, and that they only see me in a sexual way because of that. not because i think im too hot for them to take me seriously lol i dont think that at all.

I really would suggest avoiding the club scene for the moment, especially the local uni clubs. I'm not in college anymore, but 99.999% of the guys there are just looking to get drunk and/or score.

As a backstory, I got out of a really nasty relationship when I was 20 (bad enough that I've still got some physical scars from the breakup when she flipped) and swore off dating for a while (about 4 years with an infrequent date here and there). And once I stopped looking, I couldn't believe how easy it really was to find single people. I actually met my best friend when I was 21 (who is female) when I was out kayaking and stumbled across her stuck on a barrier island (her kayak had a leak). I've met people in the uni library, at museums, bookstores, restaurants, etc.

You can date and still be flirty (to an extent), you can still go to clubs with your girlfriends, etc. But if you want a *real* BF/GF relationship, you'd have better luck finding guys somewhere else. Your first impression needs to be something other than "easy club girl" for you to even have a shot with a mature guy. You are young, just go out and experience a wide array of activities, join school clubs, take up some kind of physical hobby, visit all the different places your city has to offer, etc. Meet guys just as part of your normal day, and let them see your intelligence, your humor, etc. Be flirty, tease them, but make sure they can see from the start that you have some sort of substance to back up your looks. Once you've landed one, *then* you can let him see that you have a bit of a wild side. Most of us are fine with our GF's going out to clubs, dancing, partying, but it can't be taken to the extreme and shouldn't be the *first* thing we see about you. You can have a "loose" relationship in which you are committed (this does mean no more kissing random guys) without tight restrictions on activities, and at your age you'll find guys who are okay with that.

Plus, when you stay busy, you don't feel lonely nearly as much. It is those hours lazing on the couch watching reality shows when the loneliness really sets in.

i have tried to be busy to try not to feel lonely but it doesnt seem to change that. because most of my friends have boyfriends or are seeing boys.. when i busy myself with them that is what they talk about which leads me to feeling lonely and wishing i was home alone. and if i avoid clubs.. i will be at home alone feeling lonely because my friends in relationships will be with their boyfriends while the single girls will be at the clubs. n staying busy with school work depresses me even more, n going to the gym is where i think too much. i have started tennis again though, so thats something new to think about. and i have been trying really hard lately to go to concerts and events to have fun and take my mind off it.. but when im at these events i always find myself thinking about how it would be cool if i could do this stuff with a boyfriend. lol i cant help it no matter what im doing, its like a boy is haunting my mind, and im not even going to get into getting to sleep at night or my dreams. i wont be going to the local clubs so much this yr though cos its the year of the 21st birthday parties, so theyll be taking up alot of my weekends, maybe i will meet someone at one of those.

i find it so interesting that u say u have met people in so many places like that, cos that never seems to happen to me or anyone i know for that matter lol. I want to stop looking cos everyone says u always find someone when ur not looking, but i feel like its always there subconsciously. i guess thats why its always the same people in relationships time and time again, while the same people always seem to be single. well thats what i have noticed anyway. because the ones in relationships arent looking for a new one when they get out of one, so they find one quickly. but the single people r always looking and not finding lol go figure.

I think what i want is a loose relationship because im not ready to settle down completely but i want a guy to hang out with, i dont even care if we r not exclusive. But then theres that whole double standard where girls in loose relationships r labelled sluts so i dont know. I just want to find a guy who is cool with having a relationship, but isnt going to get all serious on me and have a bunch of drama. Its just i see some of my friends who just sit at home with their boyfriends n i think i dont want to be like that i would find that boring cos i like to go out and socialise. And yeah I think part of my problem is that the first thing guys see about me is that i am a party girl, n everyone knows first impressions go a long way. I feel like i am learning so much right now

Glad to hear you'll open the search, have a look in the thread about how people met, just goes to show!

We met in 2004, and she's been in Caloundra since 2006, 4 years! We've both had one serious relationship and acouple of other crushes since then, but it all comes back to it being me and her. We've stayed pretty close considering. Just waiting till she comes here next year, and then I'm hopefully going to go over to see what it's like, and if we have a future there. If it doesn't work out then never mind. Apologies for the thread hijack!

I will check that thread out later when i get a chance.

lol i would hardly say u hijacked the thread. i like it when people bring their own experiences into it, so its not all about me, and it gives insight and hope. oooh 4 yrs apart that must be difficult. at least she is coming back next year, good luck with that i hope it works out!

[unlit]

With the kissing random guys.. well i dont really kiss random guys that often anymore.. but just generally about kissing guys.. there is a few reasons why i do it. i will admit part of it is for that reassurance because i dont have very high self esteem and i like to feel wanted in some way. another reason is cos i dont really interact with guys much during my daily life, so when i get to the club its like omg boys and i just go a bit crazy, especially since i am drinking, i just get carried away. also if i am talking with a guy and he goes to kiss me, i feel like i dont want to reject him and pull away cos id feel mean and i dont want them to think i think im too good for them. i hate brushing off guys i feel like a really big snob.. but then u talk to them n they assume u r flirting so they go for it pretty quickly. and alot of the guys i do consider that i want to see them again.. until they get all sleezy on me but then its too late cos ive already kissed them.. then ill move onto the next guy where the same thing will happen at least 50% of the time.

I dont think i fall into a limited category of 'the hot one' though. I mean i know that the guys i like and spend time with are having fun because theyre always smiling and laughing at things i do and say, in a good way, and it seems very genuine. Ive had a couple of spontaneous slutty nights i will admit but that doesnt mean i should be labelled a slut because its a rare occasion for me to leave with a guy..

I also hate brushing guys off. It makes me feel guilty, and one of my personality problems is that i'm plagued with guilt. My suggestion for when you're at a club and a guy goes for a kiss is to pull away, and giggle, maybe take a step back, put your drink on the counter between you two to symbolize a line, and smile flirtatiously, lean back in to keep him engaged, but do not kiss. This way you're rejecting him, but not completely. You're saying "not yet *wags finger". And if you continue talking to him flirtatiously, then you may get somewhere 'real'? Or you'll know he's no good because he'll lose interest now that you've made it clear you're not a cheap thrill.

And by 'the hot one' I do NOT mean "slut". These are two very different things! Like beautiful and hot - they are actually different. By 'the hot one' I mean the one who considers herself to be hot and almost relies on it to define who she is socially, and who other people regard as 'the hot one'. 'The smart one' needs to always have the right answers to feel acceptable, 'the fun one' relies on being able to keep everyone entertained at all times... none of it is healthy when you focus on one thing. If you say you're not doing that then that's cool, but be careful. Sometimes you don't even realize what you are, who you are or what you're doing. But as long as you're not 'the crazy one', or 'the bitch' you're not doing so bad lol.

I fear, though, that if a guy thinks he has a chance to score, he'll laugh at jokes and at least pretend to be interested in conversation Do you watch South Park? There's an episode called "Bebe's boobs destroy the world" - Season 6, episode 10. Bebe is suddenly considered 'cool' by all the guys, and they all think she's funny and awesome. And they don't realize it but it's because she's budding. And Bebe's mother was always told by men that she was smart and fun. She thinks it's "just the way the women are in this family", when in actuality, the guys only treated her like that because of her tits.

I'm not saying you aren't funny or smart or anything. Just saying it may help to take a step back and really look at yourself. Try to observe more around you. More than thinking 'this girl got the guy', try to think about why. Every so often I 'check' myself - I find myself having a bad trait that I haven't even realized. And I work on it. Sometimes it's because something's happened, something bad, and sometimes it's because something's NOT happening. So I'll take a step back and say "Ok, you're not outgoing enough. You're too quiet and have become a wallflower. TALK DAMNIT TALK!" And I make a effort to change and become more outgoing because that's where I fall short.

Right now my boyfriend says he's 'unsure' about us and how he feels about me. This has cut me deeply. But I'm trying to take a look at who I am and what I do in the relationship that would make him feel this way, when he used to love me. It sucks, and it's hard, but it's something I have to do, no matter what the outcome of our relationship. Sometimes writing things down helps. Lists are my friend.

But to continue the club talk - I agree clubs are not the best place to find guys. You may think you're limited to clubs, but you mentioned quite a lot of other things you're doing. It's good that you're doing things other than clubs. But are you having success meeting guys at the gym, or at tennis, or concerts etc.? If you are, and you're still finding the same boob-issue, then it's a case of weeding out the useless ones. But if you're not finding success, then the club/party venue is probably contributing to this problem of guys flocking to your chest, because that's the frame of mind they're in - they're drunk and they want to score. At the gym, a hot girl working out already shares a common interest/activity, and chances are you won't be dressed up with make-up and dangly earrings, so it's a more natural 'you' that they're meeting. And what about school? How are the boys in your classes when it comes to interacting with you (I assume you're in college or university)?

But you're not the only girl in this position. I think it's worse because you are so desperately seeking a mature relationship, so when a guy hits on you, you jump at the thought of finding potential in him. Every time I'm at a club, without fail, I get hit on by at least one guy. And I'm small-chested. I'm nice-chested, but small. I brush it off as them wanting to score because that's the kind of place they're at mentally at that moment. And it's basically true...

I write too much. Sorry!

[the_robot]

and im also wondering y every time i go to post something i get logged out lol any ideas?

Someone had the same problem, you have to check the "remember me" button when logging in.

[lahnnabell]

I agree that clubs are no good for finding boyfriend material. What else do you do for fun that enables you to meet people? Like you, I'm a social butterfly. I love to talk, dance, drink, but I also enjoy intelligent conversation and reading during my downtime.

I'm not trying to sound braggy ('cause numerous people on this site seem to enjoy pointing out my vanity), but I do meet a lot of guys. I smile a lot and am active in conversation. I like to ask people about themselves and I enjoy learning new things. If there is one thing I learned about the guys I know, it's that they love to talk themselves up. However, it's a two way street. I like hearing about their hobbies and dislikes so that I can find some common ground for conversation. I was really frustrated when a guy said he had a mutual love of Radiohead, and when I began to gush about them he then admitted he really didn't know much about them. I hate when guys try to bluff their way through a conversation with me because I instantly lose interest after that.

I can't really say there is one better place to meet guys than others because I've met and started talking to guys on the street. I met my current boyfriend through Yelp (whom I adore), a community-based business review website.

I dress for my body-type. I'm slender, but curvy and so I wear soft materials that hug my figure. It looks sexy without being trashy. I agree with what someone said about picking one feature to accentuate. Be it your cleavage, or your legs, but not both simultaneously. Kinda like with makeup. Dress up the eyes, and mute the lips, or vice versa. But vampy red lipstick and charcoal lined eyes together are too much.

So, back to the original question, what do you do for fun?