Boyfriend is going away to college, and he wants to break up? What should I do?

[sgtpepper]

My boyfriend and I both really care about each other a lot... He just thinks that we can't maintain a stable relationship if he's 5+ hours away.

I told him that I didn't know if it was even worth it because our relationship had been given an "expiration date," and he told me that he still really cares about me and I make him so happy, and he wants to stay good friends after we have broken up. He doesn't WANT to break up, but he says, come August, we'll have to because I am still a Junior in high school. But he wants to stay together until then. He says staying together throughout college would simply not be practical.

The last thing I want to do is break up with him, but I don't know whether to just enjoy the time over the summer with him and have it be that much harder because we'd be that much closer?

He says that he doesn't want to end it sooner than necessary. But it's going to end anyway, right? I'm lost and confused. Even though we haven't dropped the L word, I lost my virginity to this guy and have given him my full heart the past 4 months. I don't want to break up but I know the day is coming and there's nothing that's going to change his mind... So should I end it and spare myself the heartbreak? Or should I enjoy the time we have together and remain good friends after the break-up? Is this even possible? Please help

[Kaius]

You know it will end. You know nothing positive would come out of it. Why prolong the agony? Every time you two have a loving moment, you'll think of the end.
If you truly care about each other, just break up now and be friends. You need to concentrate on school. Junior year is soooo important. Don't mess it up over a boy.

[lahnnabell]

He shouldn't have initiated the break-up like this, but he didn't know any better. I'm sure he thought he was doing you a favor by telling you, and I don't think he was aware of the difficult situation he was putting you in.

I'd feel the same as you. Each hug, each kiss would just remind me of the impending break-up down the road and it would hurt a lot. I know you want to hang on and see if he changes his mind, but that's your decision. Knowing what I know now about love and relationships, I wouldn't be able to do it.

[sgtpepper]

I know realistically that he is not going to change his mind unless he finds a college that's close. I'm just debating whether to stick it out for a while... Because honestly I like him sooo much. He says he likes me too, but now I just feel like the relationship will be a countdown until we have to end it. Are college/highschool relationships even doable? How could I even convince him of this?

[Teddy057]

Of course they're doable. There just needs to be that strong love to maintain it. Who knows how you'll feel once you enter college, i just ended my relationship from high school. We dated from senior year all the way to the end of freshmen yr in college. We lived 10 minutes away from each other, and truly loved one another. But shit happens, you need to move on.

[sgtpepper]

Of course they're doable. There just needs to be that strong love to maintain it. Who knows how you'll feel once you enter college, i just ended my relationship from high school. We dated from senior year all the way to the end of freshmen yr in college. We lived 10 minutes away from each other, and truly loved one another. But shit happens, you need to move on.

We haven't dropped the L word, but we do have love for each other and care about each other a lot. Probably more than I've cared for anyone else in my life. I just don't know if I'm going to be able to let go, and I'm debating whether I should break up with him now and spare some heartbreak or just enjoy my summer with him... And then watch him leave. We'd be 5+ hours away so it wouldn't be like, a 10 minute thing.

[kai]

I think it's better to end now. It will be really hard, if you develop more feelings for him. On the other hand, you can ruin this relationship by fighting and all that. It's better to end it on a good note, and be friends, if you can. There is no point in ending it on a bad note.

[cmacattack1]

The longer you stay together the worse you are going to feel. Like they said above, it's just prolonging the agony. While he enjoys your company, it simply wouldn't be practical. As if love is practical in the first place. It's not. But for it to work everything around it has to be practical. Being 5 hours apart wouldn't work for him, he doesn't want to put in the work and probably will want to be with somebody that does fit into his life at school. That's too bad, but if that's how he feel, that's how he feels. It's just going to be another "what if" to think about down the road.

[sgtpepper]

Soooo... The general consensus is that I should end it now. That's gonna be so hard :/ I don't know if I can even go through with that.

[Teddy057]

Odds are you won't be able to do it. Just enjoy the time you have with him, nothing is guaranteed. The memories i had last summer with the ex are well worth the tears .

[cmacattack1]

Do what makes you happy. But if staying with him is not making you happy, then you shouldn't be with him. Life is too short to waste and you are putting yourself in the position where you could be missing out on other opportunities that come your way.

[Gigabitch]

Let him go and do it now. It's for the best.

[vashti]

I don't see why you need to break up with him now, if you are still enjoying his company. Either way, you are going to be hurting, and it isn't really all that long before he leaves, anyway.

But he is right to break this off, and it was very nice that he told you in advance. It's better that he do it this way than to wait until he has started seeing someone else. And yes, that WILL happen.