Six weeks and counting...

[Jas_mine]

Thanks - I know I should just suck it up (oo-er, sounds a bit dirty) but what really pisses me off is that he has already had a failed arranged marriage - he was coerced into getting hitched to a girl he barely knew in his early twenties, think they had been introduced by their respective families, and needless to say it ended miserably. They weren't compatible and constantly argued. That and well, she was a bit psycho, and trust I experienced a little of her psycho-ness but we won't get into that. What I mean to say is that he has been there before yet is willing to do the same damn thing all over again - he has no qualms about marrying some random chick all over again in hope that it will just work out this time round. And maybe it will but wouldn't you learn from your mistakes, where's your common sense at?

I know he's entitled to his make his own decision and that I should respect his choice but I can't help feeling shitty - like if I was so amazing, we had such a wonderful time together and were (are?) so in love then how can you just turn your back on that, just walk away and go marry, yes marry, some other girl you don't even know a thing about? Marriage is no joke, it's a huge commitment, if anybody should know that it's him.

[xxazurexx]

Funnily enough I'm involved with a guy from a different religion and it sounds one and the same as your ex's.

If so, then it's true that these guys can walk away from true love and all in the name of religion and particularly if they take their religion seriously. It is true also and the norm for these people to have 'arranged' marriages and to marry any other woman outside of their faith, culture, race, would be reason enough for their families to disown them and cut them off completely.
Even if you had converted, chances are high that they still would not have accepted you, they instead may have tolerated you.

In my situation it began as all 'lovey dovey' and romantic, but became 'close friends' and I suspect for the reason, he knows he can't take it to the next 'level' and be with me for the long term. Why? Because of his parents and his darn religion. We are really close, closer than close in fact and he still treats me as his girlfriend and I sometimes get the feeling he'd like to take things to the next level, but he knows he can't and the distance between us, is probably a blessing for him and because if we were just around the corner from one another, he might be tempted to get further caught up with me, lol......

It's easy for people to say, 'love conquers all' and if they want you they find a way, but these people very rarely forsake their religion for love and they will always place religion before love and no matter how strong their love may be for you....they love their religion more.

I know that one day, the guy in my life will likely walk away from me and our friendship too. I've read countless stories on the web in regard to relationships like this and they all end in the guy walking away....or they end up in disastrous marriages and because of the cultural differences.

I can sympathise anyway, it totally sucks

[Jas_mine]

Ah finally, somebody in the exact same boat as me (am thinking like one of them yellow rubber dinghy things with a puncture, that's filling up with water, and oh, looks like we are going to drown).

Yep, religion is their be-all and end-all, love is just an added bonus. It's a shame isn't it but I guess it's their entire lifestyle, their entire existence, they don't know any better. And they wouldn't dare anatgonise their family in any shape or form. Like I said, we are all entitled to make our own decisions, no matter how absurd - I mean I will never understand, it's completely irrational to me but hey, fair enough.

Like I said earlier, if your faith is so important then don't date outside it, it's less complicated that way - we got in too deep, it became too difficult to tear ourselves apart from each other, and we did try several times, and I do feel for him, it is a difficult position to be in, torn between love and your religion and family. And it is a huge sacrifice to make if you choose the former. I just don't get why you have to choose though, life is about striking a balance after all. For the record, I would never have converted, I flatly refused over and over again, not because I'm religious but because it's selfish, why are you trying to change me from the person you met and fell for? Why are you trying to change me when I ask nothing from you?

However, for the countless stories where it didn't work out, there are plenty cases in which it has - only because the individuals involved place love high on their list of priorities and because they are completely committed to each other. Race and religion is irrelevant, relationships fall apart every day regardless of this. Just wanted to say that there's hope for you yet! If it doesn't pan out, and fingers crossed this doesn't happen, then well, I'm always here to talk to.

[xxazurexx]

Nah there isn't any hope whatsoever. His sister got caught up with some guy and they totally disowned her and she's now dead to them. So I know hs family are strict and I guess he could expect the same punishment.
After over 2 years, I've kinda accepted it will never lead to more. At same time I'm still not 100% ok with it and sometimes feel full of resentment and a prize fool for still allowing him the honour of having me in his life. I've tried distancing, pushing him away, ignoring hs calls, etc, but he's a persistent guy and won't bugger off for some reason. Soft shite me, allows him back into my life time and time agan....but nothing moves forward.

Maybe they just choose to sow their wild oats and before the bride comes along. Guess we are only good enough to fool around with,
Dumb to get involved in something, they know won't last. Dumber still to marry someone you have never met and know nothing about, someone you don't love.
But then I don't think they marry for love do they. I sometimes wonder if they have any sense of the word 'love', for if they did, why abandon it?
As you said though, they know nothing other. It's like they have been brainwashed from birth and their lives aren't their own.

Honestly never imagined I'd ever be in this situation with a guy who is so different from me....., bet you didnt either!! lol

[lahnnabell]

I think he said all of that to get a rise out of you. Petty and immature. Keep moving forward, lady. You're doing great

[Jas_mine]

Ah man, now you tell me! In that case I played right into his hands and gave him a reaction. Damn!

When I'm angry I just can't hold back.

[lahnnabell]

Are you a Sagittarius?

[Jas_mine]

Nope, am an emotional Piscean - my mood changes with the wind but I'm pretty harmless really!

[lahnnabell]

I knew there was a reason I liked you. My boyfriend and the vast majority of my close friends are Pisceans.

[the_robot]

Are you a Sagittarius?

What does being Sagitarius have to do with anything? Yes, we have a bow, but that's pretty much the only cool thing we have.

[lahnnabell]

What does being Sagitarius have to do with anything? Yes, we have a bow, but that's pretty much the only cool thing we have.

You are so wrong in so many ways!

[the_robot]

You are so wrong in so many ways!

Ummm.. I'll take that as a compliment...

[Jas_mine]

Lahnnabell - you are one brave chick with all them Pisceans in your life! We are lovely people though really!

Robot - not only just a bow dude, let's not forget the horse's body!

[the_robot]

Robot - not only just a bow dude, let's not forget the horse's body!

Oh right... the horse body... where did I put it? *looks around*

EDIT: I can't find my horse body!!! :'(

[Jas_mine]

Guess it's public transport for you like the rest of us mister!