Cursed??

[loveminuszero]

I really am starting to think that the universe has some sort of grudge against me.

I've had my share of relationships and a few have been rather serious. Every time I break up with a guy (I've never been dumped), he either finds his match a few months later or ends up being gay. I'm serious; my two most recent "serious" ex-boyfriends are both engaged to girls they met within a couple months after dating me.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, but I'm a little jealous at the same time. I know it's probably just a coincidence and is only how things work out, but I'm starting to think that I just set people up to settle down with other women.

I don't understand why I can't find the type of relationships they do. I'm pretty easy-going, have a decent job,a m friendly, rather talkative...I don't know what's wrong with me? I know some people will say, "It's how you present yourself," but I really don't think that's the problem.

[jabberwox]

Hey, I know exactly how you feel - it seems cruel to have come so close to something special and then have it come to nothing, and after the nth time you almost feel like just giving up. And humans have a tendency to find patterns in negative events more than positive ones. I don't think it's anything about you (but just in case, ask yourself: has there been a common pattern/theme in your break-ups? Did many of the guys have similar reasons for leaving the relationship?). My advice would be to try not to think about it so much. The more worried you are about what may have gone wrong in the past and what might go wrong again means you're less likely to just be yourself in your next relationship. Just live your life and be content on your own for now - I've always thought of relationships as bonuses rather than something you actually "need" anyways (you don't want them just for the sake of it/in general, but for the fact they'll be with specific people). And I think if you treat them this way, you automatically deliver a sense of confidence and genuineness that will attract the right people to you and keep pretense out of anything you start with them. Just be patient and accept that life is often unfair, but the future is never written.

[xxazurexx]

I'm starting to think that I just set people up to settle down with other women.

I don't understand why I can't find the type of relationships they do. I'm pretty easy-going, have a decent job,a m friendly, rather talkative...I don't know what's wrong with me? I know some people will say, "It's how you present yourself," but I really don't think that's the problem.

Lol, you are not alone. Think I was the 'prelude'' to men in my life getting married also, for quite a few of them went from me, to meeting the woman they married....

And I'm same as you. Easy going, talkative, sense of humour and Im attractive.....way more attractive than the women they married anyway, lol.

I couldn't figure it out either.

[BubbleFreak]

Sounds like you're happy with how you present yourself and that's very attractive I don't think you're cursed, it's an unfortunate pattern in your relationships but doesn't mean it will happen the next time. Good luck!

I noticed you saying though that you are the one that broke up with them, never the other way around, so maybe they would've proposed to you if you hadn't ended it before they got the chance to.

[vashti]

I think some people just attract the kind of guy who wants to get married... I for one rarely ever attracted guys who didn't want to stick around. (not sure why)

If you are that kind of woman, then I am not surprised that the men who were involved with you move on and find someone to marry.

[Jas_mine]

Always the one before 'the one' eh - wasn't there some movie about this, with some dude who kept dating girls who would then find their life partner straight after dating him, or some malarkey along them lines - can't think for the life of me what it was called or even who starred in it. Anywhoo... why are you so bothered when it was always you initiating the breakup? Why are you so fussed when you weren't even really that into them? Just laugh with the universe - your time will come eventually, it's nothing to do with you, maybe it's all just a huge coincidence.

[loveminuszero]

Lol, I'm glad I'm not the only person with this problem. I haven't heard of a movie about it, but I might be interested in watching one since I can relate, haha.

It's not that I wasn't into them, I just haven't met the right guy yet. The last break-up really kicked my butt and it took me longer to get over it than it did for him - we loved each other, but weren't able to work things out. Can't assume the one who ends it isn't heart broken; I was just the one with balls lol. (not literally, of course)

It's funny that someone said maybe if I didn't break it off they would ask me to marry them because one guy had an engagement ring for me, but I didn't know it until after I broke up. He wasn't what I wanted, though, and I'm glad things worked this way because he seems very happy with his fiancee.

I'm not that worried about it, but it would be nice to meet the right guy instead of just watching all my ex-boyfriends find someone amazing.