Is a long distance relationship worth it?

[Pietomb]

hi all,

I was wondering if generally you think long distance relationships are worth it?

Me and my gf have been togethere for a year now, both of us are 18 and so off to university next year, well she is. And i'm off to south africa for a gap year. This means we're going to be apart for atleast 3 month while i'm in south africa if not more if i decide to stay longer. We're both worried about how it's gunna work, but think that we'll be able to manage. But i can't help not being paranoid about other guys at uni with her. And she won't stop worrying about me. We really want to stay together.

Do you think that it's worth us continuing our relationship? and anyone have any good coping strategies?
(mainly the latter please, but still interested in opinions )

Thanks

[xxazurexx]

If you don't have trust, then no it wont work and it isn't a good idea.

I am in one....kind of. It started out all romantic, but because of the distance it's led to us more being really close friends or closer and more than friends, as he puts it.....it's hard to define what it exactly is.

In the early days I'd find it hard to trust and I'd worry about what he was up too, who he was with, etc, etc.... he was the same with me and we argued and broke up constantly.

I came to the realisation one day, that with all of my accusations and this questioning of his every movement, I was on the road to losing him. That if he was gonna meet someone else, he would and it was beyond my control. It's a total waste of time to worry about things we have no control over.

Since that day and since I just accepted, 'what will be, will be', we got along sooooo much better....and he's still around after 2 years and texts every single day or calls me.

You NEED to have trust, for jealousy and no trust are the biggest killers of any relationship......together or apart.

[lahnnabell]

I agree with azure. My boyfriend is currently in Guadalajara and has been since January while I'm at home in San Diego. When we met last year he told me he'd been planning this immersion trip for a while but he was waiting to finish school and to recover from his knee surgery last summer. We had a glorious time together from August to January. He said that had we not had so much time to spend together before he left, he would have worried about the relationship. We made the commitment to stay together through this because we love and trust one another. He was originally supposed to return in March, but decided to do another five-week session, and I told him I would support him through it.

Some days are tougher than others (especially when I need a hug). Some people think it's funny to joke about how beautiful Guadalajaran women are, or that "he's a guy" so of course he's gonna mess around. I don't pay attention to that shit because they don't know him like I do, so I just let the heresay and the BS roll off. I just have to remember that he's not gone forever and that I am a strong, independent woman.

We had honest "no pressure" conversations about how we wanted things to go. We utilize Skype when he has a strong enough internet connection (and not watching the Sox), and Facebook chat. Like azure, there was a point when I wasn't hearing from him as much and it got me worried and anxious, but I decided to ride it out. I knew that if I pressured him into chatting with me all the time just to make me feel more secure that it would only frustrate him and myself. I keep myself busy with work and friends and throw myself into trusting that if there were really something wrong, he'd tell me honestly. I did have a brief conversation with him about my anxiety, but I was straightforward. I told him I felt disconnected from him and that it made me anxious. I recognized that the insecurity was coming from within, and that all I wanted from him was to make sure he was okay and to hear him say he missed me.

You both have to want this. Understand that maybe you won't get to talk as much some weeks due to busy schedules, lack of internet, etc. Send each other video messages and pictures of what you're up to. Facebook chat conversations can only take you so far (as I've found) and they become tiresome. He returns in May and so now I'm in the process of psyching myself up for his return (and trying to stick to the diet my boss put me on, haha).

[smsinhindi]

If both trust each-other, then there is no problem in long distance relationship... if you want to read such an true story where both are living aways from each-other since more than 5 year ans still in love then visit this blog and read each article.

rippulove.blogspot.com

and you will understand what the trust is ?