Need to know basis. Please, would welcome all opinons

[catseye]

How much does a drunken kiss mean? Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and i was away for a long weekend and kissed a total stranger in a club. I don't even remember actually doing it, just before it happened then walking away. I could tell my boyfriend, but would i be doing it just to come clean? Is it kinder just to live with it and make sure it never happens again?

[originalsince85]

From personal experience I would tell him, come completely clean.

Otherwise, you're not only lying to him, your lying to yourself, no matter the reasons e.g. drunkenness. He may appreciate you coming clean and just put it in the past. There are other ways he could react, but surely you want a relationship built on what's real than what's pretend?

That's just my 2 cents. :-)

[OneQuestion]

You came to this form to ask the question; which to me means this is going to be stuck in your mind until you confess to it.

What were you doing out at a club dancing/drinking/kissing guys anyways? If you are in a serious relationship, you shouldn't be going to the club alone...

You obviously don't care much for your BF. I know you will respond and say you do... but the fact is, if you truly cared for him, and/or loved him, you wouldn't have done such things.

[JaCzi]

Your allowed to go clubbing by yourself.. or with friends thats what people do and thats what trust is. I'd tell him personally because the guilt would eat me up. you know your boyfriend and depending on hes reaction is wether you should tell him or not is it worth it? could it end your relationship? Trust takes a long time to build.. and a short time to destroy.

[OneQuestion]

Your allowed to go clubbing by yourself.. or with friends thats what people do and thats what trust is. I'd tell him personally because the guilt would eat me up. you know your boyfriend and depending on hes reaction is wether you should tell him or not is it worth it? could it end your relationship? Trust takes a long time to build.. and a short time to destroy.

I, personally, have no want to go to a club without my GF... I find it completely stupid to do so. Clubs are places where drunken dancing and hooking up happen. If you read though this forum,you will hear of TONS of stories of BF's/GF's cheating on their significant other while at a club or after meeting someone at a club. A club is a place for horny, drunk, dumb singles to try to 'hook up'. It isn't a place someone in a serious relationship would frequent.

My GF used to want to go out for 'girls nights'. I let her of course, I wasn't going to be controlling of her. But it always did hurt me, and all night I would wonder what she was doing, and if she was dancing with another guy. It isn't a good thing for a relationship! She has now for the past few years turned down almost all 'girls night' invites, only going on maybe one a year.

I think people are attracted to clubs because they think it is 'hip' or 'cool' and they want to have a good time... makes no sense to me... a club isn't a good time for me... watching a movie and snuggling with my beautiful GF is a good time for me... I think it has to do with how much 'partying' is advertised on TV. Paris Hilton is one example. She is famous.. and for what.. partying... and look at her.. she is a dumb whore... But for some reason, people want to be like her and find that life attractive... just stupid...

Sure all relationships need TRUST. But how can you trust someone who is constantly going out clubbing without you. Someone who needs/wants that type of lifestyle probably isn't the 'single partner' type of person, or the 'long term relationship' type of person.

[Gigabitch]

Also speaking from personal experience, I think you should tell him. He needs to know that this is something you are capable of doing.

[the_doggoned]

You came to this form to ask the question; which to me means this is going to be stuck in your mind until you confess to it.

What were you doing out at a club dancing/drinking/kissing guys anyways? If you are in a serious relationship, you shouldn't be going to the club alone...

You obviously don't care much for your BF. I know you will respond and say you do... but the fact is, if you truly cared for him, and/or loved him, you wouldn't have done such things.

Totally agreed. Going to the club with your friends and getting a few drinks and dancing is cool. But, you should have never been dancing with some random guy while drunk, let alone be that close to another guy for that to happen anyway. The "I was drunk" excuse is always the lamest.

I've been drunk on many occassions while out at a bar or something and I have NEVER cheated on my girlfriend.

If he's smart he'll dump you when you tell him about it.

[catseye]

thanks to everyone whose posted, ill reply to any details. First it was a sporting trip with our gymnastics club, i asked my boyfriend to come and he didn't want to.I and i understand being drunk is not an excuse for what i did, i'm not trying to justify anything. I don't think he'd dump me. i think he'd get passed it. I know this because we met in freshers in university when we both had partners, and we've since talked about trusting each other, particularly when we first got together. which is why i think maybe if the only reason to tell him would be to assuage my own guilt, maybe i should be the one to suffer with it rather than him. Or is that just me being a coward? that's all i want to know.

[Incognito]

If you were the kind of person who could simply forget about it because it didn't mean anything, I'd suggest not telling him. You seem to be concerned about this and seem to feel guilty. Since THAT is the case you should probably tell him since it will cause you internal pain that will ultimately affect your relationsip. It is also prudent for me to say that there is nothing wrong with going anywhere and having fun, BUT if you cannot be responsible (ie avoiding drinking that leads to inability to remember doing something, or inability to control your actions) you shouldn't be in that particular setting or situation.

[Gigabitch]

If you were with a group of people, it's likely someone saw you, and therefore quite possible he could find out anyway. How awful would that be?

[Incognito]

Hmmm, that's entirely possible, and somewhat likely. Considering that point it is better to tell him yourself, otherwise you will look REALLY guilty. Good luck.

[jloranestes]

Simple answer. If you are planning to stay with this guy in a serious relationship, you tell him. If you aren't that serious about the relationship, you don't tell hm and ride it out. There's a reason trust, honesty and communication are listed as the cornerstones of a sucessful relationship.

Either way, there are consequences. He may get mad at you, but he'll know that you would never lie to him because you told him. At the same time, he may dump you. At least you'll know that you did what you could, and accept this as a consquence of your mistake.

[Bo]

You should definitely tell. It's bad enough what you did, but now you're going to lie/hide it from him? Pretty FCUKED up. As for how much a drunken kiss could mean? if this guy was a stranger it probably didn't mean much, but what it does mean is that you didn't care enough about your bf in the moment to control yourself. And well if you can't control yourself you should not be in a relationship PERIOD, or you should not drink PERIOD until you learn to have some self control.