How to become more confident?

[the_robot]

Pettit gave me the idea.. her fault.

I have a lot of confidence issues, and seems a lot of people has them too... any advice?

[lahnnabell]

There are many areas in our lives in which we lack confidence. Would you like the Total Body Confidence Booster? The Life Changer Package? We have all sorts of customizable package deals to fit your individual needs.

Maybe give a bit more detail, dude. I could tell you, "You should work out." But I know plenty of guys who still work out and lack confidence. So, where are you lacking in confidence?

[QueenofCorona]

I think you need to make peace within yourself. Stop the negative thinking that you aren't good enough, smart enough, rich enough, attractive enough.

Recognize, like lahnnabell said, which area you want to improve and make shit happen.

[the_robot]

There are many areas in our lives in which we lack confidence. Would you like the Total Body Confidence Booster? The Life Changer Package? We have all sorts of customizable package deals to fit your individual needs.

Maybe give a bit more detail, dude. I could tell you, "You should work out." But I know plenty of guys who still work out and lack confidence. So, where are you lacking in confidence?

The Total Body Confidence Booster would be ok, how much does it cost?

Sorry, I sometimes don't realize people can't read my mind.

I'm not confident about my body at all, I do workout except days when I'm just mentally defeated.. Because of lack of time and stress I didn't workout for 4 months until mid-february and I gained 8 pounds+ 4 the year before and I see myself fat. I've lost 3 pounds in the last 3 weeks, but still no good with my ego... and yes, I know I sound like a girl. I've always thought I was ugly besides being fat, but I suppose there's no way to change that.
I've always had the feeling that if someone saw me naked they'd start laughing at me.

My social skills are so good I spend all day except when I'm at work or university in my bedroom, I don't like going out with my friends because all they do is go to clubs and bars to get drunk, find a drunk girl and ****. Also, I don't trust but one of them, and even him I don't tell many things.. I've said more about myself in my first 5 minutes here than what he knows about me.

The only person who actually knows me and I really trust is the crazy psycho I mentioned in my first post, and I think I've screwed her up, she was crying yesterday and says she can't trust me because "I change too much". I feel like I lied to her because I changed my mind about what I thought I could take... Even with this online psycho, all I've gotten in my romantic life is to be the second best for someone who I think only was attracted to me because I'm a virgin and has an obsession with virgins. Now I'm afraid anyone I ever care for will end up the same way, being hurt because I'm too immature and not good enough.

Professionally speaking, I haven't had a job until 6 weeks ago when 3 friends and me started a company, but still haven't seen a penny, so it doesn't really count. This makes me feel like a complete looser.

My parents treat me like a baby and since I hate them for it among other things, they are all the time saying how I'm such a bad person. They've kicked me out of home 4 times in the last year and I'm still here I don't know why, I probably deserve to be homeless.

My great friends are all day saying how stupid I am and trashing everything I'm good at. They think I don't care, but it actually gets to hurt when it goes on for too long.

I'm afraid of talking to people I don't know, both because I don't know what to say and because I suspect they'll just think me creepy or something like that.

Summarizing, I'm a looser who is going to die alone.

[lahnnabell]

Firstly, the petty self-deprecation needs to stop. I understand you probably have these thoughts programmed into you at this point, but it's part of what is keeping you in this funk.

You need to get some new friends. It's really shitty when the people in our lives are only looking to bring us down so that they can make themselves feel better. That's what this is. If you truly care about someone, you'll be supportive and want the best for them.

Are you actually overweight for your body, or do you just feel fat? They can both affect your confidence, but if you're feeling insecure about your weight it probably has more to do with how the people you hang around try to tear you down in all aspects.

Starting a business is difficult and in this economy it is unfathomably hard. New businesses won't see some sort of turnover for a couple of years, so it doesn't necessarily have to do with anything you're doing wrong. People are afraid to spend money on anything other than bills and the necessities right now. What kind of business is it if you don't mind me asking? Is there some way you can market it to encourage people to invest in it?

[Gigabitch]

Find one thing you really, really like about yourself and invest time and energy into that. Build from there.

[the_robot]

Firstly, the petty self-deprecation needs to stop. I understand you probably have these thoughts programmed into you at this point, but it's part of what is keeping you in this funk.

You need to get some new friends. It's really shitty when the people in our lives are only looking to bring us down so that they can make themselves feel better. That's what this is. If you truly care about someone, you'll be supportive and want the best for them.

Are you actually overweight for your body, or do you just feel fat? They can both affect your confidence, but if you're feeling insecure about your weight it probably has more to do with how the people you hang around try to tear you down in all aspects.

Starting a business is difficult and in this economy it is unfathomably hard. New businesses won't see some sort of turnover for a couple of years, so it doesn't necessarily have to do with anything you're doing wrong. People are afraid to spend money on anything other than bills and the necessities right now. What kind of business is it if you don't mind me asking? Is there some way you can market it to encourage people to invest in it?

I probably need new friends, but I don't know where the hell I could find anyone. It's not like my friends are bad, I have fun with them, they just don't realize I'm depressed and keep doing what they think doesn't hurt.

I'm about 5' 11" and 178lb, don't really know what is fat.. compared to guys around me I look huge though.

And my business is about biotechnology. We just don't have "the product" yet and it will take some time to have anything... We are having a keynote with possible investors soon, but I don't think that will give us anything except maybe money to buy some things we need to start working..

Find one thing you really, really like about yourself and invest time and energy into that. Build from there.

I'm ... good at videogames?

[lahnnabell]

Are you trying to sabotage yourself? You don't like the activities your friends partake in. And they tell you you're stupid and they trash the things you like. How are these people good friends?

[the_robot]

Are you trying to sabotage yourself? You don't like the activities your friends partake in. And they tell you you're stupid and they trash the things you like. How are these people good friends?

Well.. they like stuff I like, but that stuff we "share" is videogames, science and stuff like that, not a real activity you can share... They are the best I have found, the rest of the people doesn't like the stuff I do and will do the same most probably..

[VincenzoG91]

I was a morbid, unhappy, introverted teenager, though I was fortunate to have great friends and a nice family. In college, I started to come out of my shell, and by my mid-20s, I was doing fine.

One way to get confidence: fake it until you make it. Act confident, even when you aren't feeling it, and people will perceive you as confident. Eventually you will really feel that confidence because everybody has come to expect it from you.

Like Lahnnabell said, ditch any friends that are undermining your confidence. I ended up moving away after college, and that gave me a clean slate to re-invent myself as a more confident guy, without old friends sabotaging me with tales of my misadventures in grade school.

And Gigabitch's suggestion is good, too. Although video games might not be the best selling point. Maybe you can pick up a new hobby and really get into that, and then take pride in your progress and accomplishments there. From your remarks, exercise would be something you can talk about with confidence. Speaking of exercise, you could show confidence and get more opportunities to talk to women if you got into a yoga class or an aerobics class. It's great exercise either way, and most of the people in your class will be women.

[the_robot]

I was a morbid, unhappy, introverted teenager, though I was fortunate to have great friends and a nice family. In college, I started to come out of my shell, and by my mid-20s, I was doing fine.

One way to get confidence: fake it until you make it. Act confident, even when you aren't feeling it, and people will perceive you as confident. Eventually you will really feel that confidence because everybody has come to expect it from you.

Like Lahnnabell said, ditch any friends that are undermining your confidence. I ended up moving away after college, and that gave me a clean slate to re-invent myself as a more confident guy, without old friends sabotaging me with tales of my misadventures in grade school.

And Gigabitch's suggestion is good, too. Although video games might not be the best selling point. Maybe you can pick up a new hobby and really get into that, and then take pride in your progress and accomplishments there. From your remarks, exercise would be something you can talk about with confidence. Speaking of exercise, you could show confidence and get more opportunities to talk to women if you got into a yoga class or an aerobics class. It's great exercise either way, and most of the people in your class will be women.

I act as confident as I can, as I said it seems to be the problem with my friends.. No one knows how beaten I am except the online girl... and a lot of times she just makes it worse when she is pissed.

Once I finish university I could go away from here and it's what I want to do, but that's going to take 2 more years if everything goes decently, I don't want to live this way for that much longer.. I don't think I can. I was thinking of renting an apartment so I could live on my own, that should make me feel a bit more.. fulfilled... but that depends on how the business goes.. right now it doesn't seem very likely.


About exercise.. what I do is not much really, I can't brag about it.. I don't work out more than an hour/day, it's nothing to be proud of... And working out in a room with other people would be really hard for me having my confidence issues...

[Equine_Summer]

One way to get confidence: fake it until you make it. Act confident, even when you aren't feeling it, and people will perceive you as confident. Eventually you will really feel that confidence because everybody has come to expect it from you.

this works like NOTHING else. I personally have a long way to go but this does work. Im a great pretender. But this does work

[the_robot]

this works like NOTHING else. I personally have a long way to go but this does work. Im a great pretender. But this does work

Well, I'll take that advice to the limit. Tonight I'll do some meditation to see if I can get my mind up to the task and make it happen. Some more advice is also welcomed though.

[Equine_Summer]

also another tip that was mentioned:

Find one thing you really, really like about yourself and invest time and energy into that. Build from there.

Is great too. Im not skin at all so Ive always had self image problems but when I stopped focusing on my negtives I found I was happier and more upbeat more often. I like my hair so I invested time and effort into finding the perfect hair cut and dyed it just how I like. (blond with black underneath) I pierced my lip because I WANTED to. I mean little things that make me feel good looking.

infact when I STOP worrying about my weight is when I lose the most. I take little steps (im an emotional eater) say the word diet and I start packing on the weight. lol all I do is have a small bowl of mediocre cereal for breakfast (something im not tempted to have more of) then a normal 'lunch' but its dinner for everyone else since i sleep odd hours. I stay active and I had my sister tell me I look like ive LOST weight.so keep your chin up stop over thinking things and before you know it everything will fall into place

[the_robot]

Well.. I don't really know what I like except geek stuff that I already spend a lot if time with...