Wife sends me a text message about sex????

[Incognito]

That's what I was saying about us being at an impass. I never could have even imagined myself this obstinate years ago, but here I am. I'm a product of her actions, which is the other reason why I'm not quick to be sensitive to 'her side' of this situation.

[Sonrisa]

Inc, i have been in that kind of relationship. And after years of shutting down on him, one day he just started giving me the silliest compliments and grabbing me in all the right places, which i have rejected for weeks and called him a fool for acting like a child. but then...i gave in...and it was pretty...and there was no more tension about sex or expressing loving behaviour...

[Sonrisa]

how old are the two of you?

[Sonrisa]

oh. and btw i give her a credit for admitting that there's a problem in a relationship and wanting to change.

[Incognito]

LOL. First thank you for that wonderful laugh that you just inadvertently gave me! I had no idea you were a woman, LOL. The picture of 'The Joker' as your avatar made me wrongly assume you were a man. Wooooo, ok. Anyway, I am 27 and she is 32. I explained about all the ways that I tried and all the times that I was either was shut down, or my affection not reciprocated. I became disheartened after a while and stopped everything.

[Sonrisa]

well i am your wife's age, so we both have something in common. seriously boy, try hard, act it out if doesn't come naturally. you are too young to give up. if you give us more details about yourselves we can come with exact solution for everyday behaviour. tell us your backgrounds, professions, hobbies, etc.

[Incognito]

That precisely the probem. I didn't have to act it out before, it came naturally because I wanted to be a good husband. Then after I lost my will to be affectionate and sensitive I started trying to get it back by doing those things WHENEVER I thought to do so. If the thought even passed my mind at work, I'd call and say "I love you" and start a conversation. If she walked by I'd check her out and compliment her. If she was not doing something important I'd come up behind her and hug her. The list goes on and on. Eventually anybody would become disheartened after trying to do so much with no reciprocation. I am mainly against putting forth MORE effort after having dirt kicked in my face so many times.

Backgrounds- Thats a large area to cover. Anything in particular you want to know?
Professions- I'm a construction inspector. She used to be an animal groomer, but had to stop because of nerve issues in her arm. She is now a secretary.
Hobbies- I lift weights, cook and play video games. Paintballing interests me too, but I just got a gun, so I don't do it regularly. She bakes,a nd JUST recently got into playing video games regularly. Other than that she has no hobbies, and doesn't go out. I frequently TELL her to go hang out with friends, but she never does. She does visit family out of state, but not often.

[Indignant]

do you guys ever go out?

[Incognito]

Not really. Her daughter is alway around. If we do manage to get rid of her for a weekend we go somewhere if the money works out that week. That isn't often though. I think the last time we went out alone was fall.

[Indignant]

Not really. Her daughter is alway around. If we do manage to get rid of her for a weekend we go somewhere if the money works out that week. That isn't often though. I think the last time we went out alone was fall.

well, there you go. this was the most productive post here:

getting rid of daughter, money, not going out

it's that plain and simple. she needs to move on.

[Incognito]

Ha, wow! I love that 'California-******************-I'm better than you-attitude' you've got there. Let me tell YOU something. I pay every FU*KING bill associated with our apartment, utility consumption, vehicle insurance....ect. The ONLY thing I don't pay for is her personal cell phone bill and her personal credit card bill. SO DON'T YOU F*CKING DARE COME HERE SPOUTING SOME IGNORANT, SELF RIGHTEOUS, MATERIALISTIC SHIT LIKE THAT! How about you use all of that money and know how and come here and say that while you're within striking distance! Damn that was insensitive. Shit!!

[Indignant]

that's right! let all that anger get out of your system!

[IndiReloaded]

I'll post more later Incog, but stick to your guns for now. Don't let her control this push/pull thing you have going on. The sex is about control at this point, not love.

If she's feeling a bit insecure about it, good, let her. It wouldn't hurt for her to hustle for YOU a bit....

[Indignant]

I'll post more later Incog, but stick to your guns for now. Don't let her control this push/pull thing you have going on. The sex is about control at this point, not love.

If she's feeling a bit insecure about it, good, let her. It wouldn't hurt for her to hustle for YOU a bit....

Indi, did you read ALL of his posts? please tell me you didn't

[Gigabitch]

Indi, did you read ALL of his posts? please tell me you didn't

I've read all of his posts. He's been here for weeks.