Love or obsession?

[MishkaLe'Ace]

Hey there everyone. I have not been on here in a while...I apologize. Please read this...

Two months ago I broke up with a boyfriend of mine. We dated for 4 months, but were friends for over 6 years.
He was good to me but made three BIG mistakes....
One; He beat up my ex roommate (he deserved it, he looked through my pics on the computer and stole my panties) but, it was against my wishes. I simply asked him to allow me to handle the situation.
Two; He has sex with me, while holding the condom in his hand, never putting it on, and made me believe he had one on. (Thank God for the Plan B pill.)
Three; He ****ed my in the ass while I was sleeping. (I felt exceptionally violated and he knew of my dark past.)

(He also never gave me any space and could not go a day without me when we were together. It was cute at first....)

So, I broke it off with him. I had a tiny shred of hope that maybe I would be able to forgive him and we could continue our friendship sometime down the road.

Well, he was devastated. He began drinking every night, loosing his temper with everyone, sleeping around, and even relapsed and did coke again after years of being clean.

He began texting me everyday saying he hated himself, was un-loveable, I was the one, life meant nothing without me, I was his everything, he would give everything up for me....you get the picture...

He has a loving family and close friends, but he keeps disappointing them with what he is doing.

Anyways, he came to my window one night at 4 am. I was asleep and had taken some sleeping pills so did not wake up. He called me 14 times that night.

A couple days later I saw him, and took him to see my horse and try and talk some sense into him since here were plenty of people around and I knew I was safe there...things went ok, accept him crying and begging for me back. I told him to go home. When I got home, he was at my house....and so began the high speed chase. I kept trying to get away and he kept calling...I told him to get off my tail and go home....after about 15 min of this, I peeled out in someones driveway (girls gotta do, what a girls gotta do) and he got off my tail...

About a months later (still getting texts all the time) he shows up at my house at 4 am again...I was asleep in another room and was sick, and so was OUT. He snuck in through my dog door and came into the room I was in. I was naked and he just grabbed me and began crying and asking me not to shoot him. He was lucky that my gun was in the other room and not at my side like it was every other damn night.

He wouldn't let me go and just kept telling me how much he loved me, and needed me, and such....

I ended up calling his parents to come pick him up, cause I hate to get cops involved....

I keep telling him that this is just an obsession and 'out of sight, out of mind' is the only way to get over me.

What the hell do I do just short of a restraining order?!?! I feel so bad since he was a friend of mine for so long. We just wont work being together anymore....

Any advice....??! PLEASE!!!

[VincenzoG91]

Time for a restraining order. This guy is nuts, and he sounds potentially dangerous.

[OneQuestion]

Hmm... I've done #3 as well...

As for the #1... that is a male thing... he is the man, the 'alpha' male lets say... If a male lion comes into a pack(in which he doesn't belong), then the real alpha male who was already there, will fight him off, not letting him anywhere near his girls. Your man was just defending you... sure he might have a little aggression problems... but I mean... the guy stole your panties... I would be pissed too... and you were his roommate... so that probably caused more thoughts/anger for your BF.

Anyways. get a restraining order on him... He basically broke into your house... It is obvoius you don't want him around. It is good you got his parents involved - maybe they will talk some sense into him... if he persists, get a restraining order.

[MishkaLe'Ace]

I truly do not want to do such a thing...Anyone got any good quotes, or ideas other than restraining order??
I have already had to put restraining orders on two other guys...he is a friend.

[VincenzoG91]

He is violent. (beat up your roommate)

He raped you. (f-ed you in the ass without your consent is definitely rape)

He potentially could have gotten you pregnant (the time without the condom)

He drinks too much and does illegal drugs, so he isn't always in control of himself, if ever.

He hasn't given up, even though months have passed.

So I don't see any alternatives to a restraining order. Or else start carrying pepper spray, a taser or even a gun. Because this guy is a threat to your life. Don't kid yourself about the severity of this situation. When somebody gets murdered, you know who the police always consider the lead suspect? Either the ex or the current significant other, even if the couple is married. Matter of fact, in approximately 75% of all homicides, the murderer and the victim knew each other well.

[VincenzoG91]

Even a restraining order probably wouldn't be enough in this situation. This guy doesn't seem to care about breaking the law. You might want to consider moving somewhere else, like a different state.

[Incognito]

I truly do not want to do such a thing...Anyone got any good quotes, or ideas other than restraining order??
I have already had to put restraining orders on two other guys...he is a friend.

You asking for options other than a restraining order is like asking for options other than a cast after breaking your leg. This guy is a drunk, a drug user, a rapist, and he broke into your home. Yet you still claim that he is a friend. Really? REALLY?!?!? This guy obviously has SERIOUS problems which need to be remedied with therapy and jail time. That seems to be the focus here, but I am seeing something else too. Your problems. Anyone who would still claim someone as a friend after being ass raped by them, put at risk for unwanted pregnancy by them(the comdom in hand incident), and had their house broken into by them has major issues of their own. You can choose to ignore all the sound advice here, and "put a bandaid on a broken leg", but you will end up paying for it. I'd fully expect to see you in a body bag on the 5:00 news, and you know what......I won't feel sorry, because you could have prevented it by not being stupid. That is, IF you decide against a restraining order.

[Incognito]

How is it that MishkaLe'Ace is not registered and has no profile, but joined in July 2008? Anyone? Vasti? Perryville?