How long before you would have sex?

[OneQuestion]

Do you think I didn't see myself in the future with my boyfriend? well you don't sit in my head, so you can't know a shit And stop to repeat yourself, it's boring.

I'm sorry for you I wish you as much happyness as you are capable of.

I knew a girl in college... got 2 abortions.. 2 different girls I knew, 1 abortion each...

All of these were with SHORT HOOKUPS at college... like 2 week to a month relationships... there is NO WAY to know you want to be with someone FOREVER, until you have really been with them for a while... When I first slept with my girlfriend, it was AFTER we hung out DAILY for about 4 months. She was sleeping at my apartment(she lived in the dorms, so she never stayed there as my apartment was much nicer than a small dorm room) for MONTHS before we had sex... we snuggled a lot, kissed, that was it. When I felt I really loved her and could be with her forever, then we had sex. She had prevoius partners, I had not... I know for sure, she would have had sex with me a lot earlier, but I wasn't ready until I was sure. And I also wanted to make sure SHE WAS SURE. I of course would never know this, as that is in her mind... but, after hanging out daily for 4 months you get to know a person pretty well. I'm talkin we were together 24/7. If I had only seen her once a week, I probably wouldn't have slept with her for over a year or more. But then again, we wouldn't have lasted that long if she didn't want to see me more than once a week...

And you would have thought I would get stuck in the 'friend zone'... odd, ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FIRST. Odd that rule doesn't seem to apply to me... I guess it is about finding the right girl... a slut looking for just sex isn't going to want to be your friend for a while then have sex with you, as she will already be having sex with multiple other people WHILE you are her FRIEND. So that makes you stuck there.. If the girl isn't a slut, and isn't sleeping around, your friendship can turn into love... Isn't the person you marry supposed to be your best friend? I don't know why people think this should happen after you have had sex...

Sex releases pharamones(sp?) which cause a FAKE feeling of love, especially in women. Casuing a harmful relationship to continue... Which is why you should wait until you are sure.

[Petit Papillon]

you're callin me a slut?

[OneQuestion]

What? Who?

[Petit Papillon]

silly guy ,you think i don't see edited posts?i'm a mod. again, did you call me a slut?

[OneQuestion]

I know your a moderator, you have it under your name

And yes, editing is shown, and since you seemed offended, I removed it kindly.

I don't know you well enough to call you a slut, my words are generalized.

[Petit Papillon]

so you better watch your mouth boy,because beside of checking edited posts i can also infract people for insulting.

[OneQuestion]

I understand

[Asip4u]

This boss lady is so hot when she gets going. lol

[doppelgaenger]

I guess some people are differnt... I am the type of person who at the end of my life, I want to look back and think of the great love I had with a SINGLE PERSON.

That's a nice thing to say at... what, 25 years old? Lol, we'll see how much this changes by the end of your life, after you've had a few relationships.

People look for SEX it seems and not LOVE...

Let people speak for themselves. And so what if they're wanting sex? There is nothing wrong with that, as long as they are honest. Sex is a human need after all.

Yup, I am 25. girl is 24... Again, I am not saying love can't happen later, simply that the first love you have(first sex also) is when the strongest relationship can come.

I'm assuming that you've never been in love or had sex with anyone else, because what you said simply isn't true.

I don't think anyone else would disagree with THIS... If you AND your LOVER were eachothers FIRST, never had ANY thoughts of sleeping with anyone else, and were completely faithful to eachother, that would be a perfect relationship, with no fears of cheating, no past experiences to think back on, each partner would only think intamitely about that one person. This is something that can ONLY happen with a FIRST love/sex... after that, this chance is gone...

I disagree with this. Faithfulness, loyalty, trustworthiness, and innocence are not governed by a sealed hymen. Any person who thinks otherwise is lying to themselves because they are unstable.

On the other hand, when you've had past relationships, you can measure your love and your efforts relative to those you made in the past with other people. Since love is abstract, there really isn't much of a way to measure it otherwise, unless you're going to let movies, bibles, and peers dictate what love is and how it should be. After every consecutive relationship, you have a better idea of who you are and what kind of person you desire to share your life with, because usually, we don't start out with our ideal mate. Even if we do, we **** up and some how end up on our own. You learn how to grow spiritually and mentally and you learn how to love better after each relationship. And when you do find your 'perfect' (if such a word could justify) mate, you'll appreciate that person so much more than the first person you were with, whom you blindly claimed that it was your strongest, most passionate love, and your efforts made in that first relationship should and will cower in the shadow of the efforts you've made in the next.

Sex has almost nothing to do with this. Sex is a normal behavior that should happen in every relationship. If God had intended us to make love to only one person, he would have designed our penises to grow after we've found 'the one'. It would be most insulting to humanity for him to do such a thing. Of course, I don't believe in that sort of thing... but to deny the human need for sex is foolish. If you should live each day as it is your last, you should also treat each partner as if he or she is your last.

Furthermore, the idea of love is another silly construction that is relatively new to humanity. Open your history books and you'll find that it was silly and socially unacceptable and foolish to marry for love until well after the Renaissance. People used to marry for property. It was all about property, even in the bible... back when people believed slavery was morally right, just like stoning people to death, but god forbid, if you ****ed an animal you were toast. It was also back when women didn't have any rights and they were simply objects of pleasure; toys. If you want to see an ancient bordello go to Ephesus with a tour guide. They'll tell you how, according to archeological findings, the scholars of Ephesus lied to their wives about going to the library to read, when in fact they would travel through an underground passage leading directly to the bordello, where they would give into infidelity. It appears as though we've forgotten about polygamy as well.

When a guy ejaculates, he releases several million sperm cells, out of those millions of cells, 98% of them aren't even designed to infilitrate the egg, they are just designed to kill and slow down the sperm cells of rivals. Why would we evolutionarily develop to have sperm that kills the sperm of other men if women have always been faithful through time?

Every sperm is viable and potent, or at least designed to be. We know this from selective breeding, where it doesn't really matter which sperm is chosen, so long as it is healthy. Anyway, that's a silly argument to make... that because sperm kill each other, women were unfaithful? Come on.

I know this... however, I had a girlfriend for 8 months in HS. She wanted me to have sex with me - even asking me once to put on a condom and F her so she could see how it feels(we were both virgins at the time). We made out constantly, but that was about all we ever did. Anyways, I KNEW I WOULDN'T be with her forever. She was a great girl, but I couldn't see myself with her forever... which is why I NEVER went further than kissing and/or touching her breasts.

My fiance, I DID FEEL LIKE I COULD BE WITH HER FOREVER... sure that isn't 100% positive, but I knew who she was as a person, and I could SEE myself with her forever. BEFORE we had sex, I could SEE myself with HER forever.

You're stupid and you know it. Deep down, you truly regret not ****ing her. Otherwise, your morals surely are ****ed up. If you knew you were going to leave her and find someone else, according to your morals, you shouldn't have been sexual with this girl. What, you think that because you didn't stick your cock in her cornhole that you didn't have sex? Oh, but you're just going to suck on her tits to calm your sexual cravings and lead her on because she's not your strongest love and therefore you shouldn't break her hymen.

She had prevoius partners, I had not...

Welp, I guess she doesn't love you as much as she could because she couldn't keep her panties on for you, her alleged destiny.

And you would have thought I would get stuck in the 'friend zone'... odd, ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FIRST. Odd that rule doesn't seem to apply to me... I guess it is about finding the right girl... a slut looking for just sex isn't going to want to be your friend for a while then have sex with you, as she will already be having sex with multiple other people WHILE you are her FRIEND. So that makes you stuck there.. If the girl isn't a slut, and isn't sleeping around, your friendship can turn into love... Isn't the person you marry supposed to be your best friend? I don't know why people think this should happen after you have had sex...

You sound like a little bitch. Making the poor girls wait and manipulating them to see if they are puritan enough for you. How cowardly. If what you're saying is true, then you really don't deserve to be so well off with the ladies. And yes, many women will simply disregard you as a potential mate if you try to be all friendly and nice-guy to them. It just shows how you don't have any balls and you're too afraid to tell a girl what you really want.

Sex releases pharamones(sp?) which cause a FAKE feeling of love, especially in women. Casuing a harmful relationship to continue... Which is why you should wait until you are sure.

Dude, you better just shut up. You can't even spell pheromones, so don't even repeat whatever you heard, wherever you heard it from. Pheromones don't cause a fake feeling of love. I'll tell you what happens. Women [usually] have sex with guys, hoping that they will stick around and love them and treat them right... because that's what men are supposed to do. Men are supposed to be honest and loyal and protective and understand how delicate and vulnerable women are. The weasels, however, who call themselves men, take advantage of this for personal gratification. Slimy weasel bastards without backbones... if weasels weren't around to hurt women the way they do, there would be no need to be so protective and cautious about sleeping with men. You seemed to have developed this cautious femininely attributed behavior... probably because you were raised by an abused woman who raised you like a little girl.

[girl68]

Bahahahaha I actually enjoyed that post nice one!

[MVPlaya]

This wouldn't happen IF BOTH PARTNERS were SURE they wanted to be together forever, and were faithful and loving to eachother. Of course IF ONLY ONE falls in love, and the other doesn't, that is a problem... shouldn't have slept with him/her until you both KNEW.

Then you are absolutely right, one person gets hurt, and that persons love will be hurt for life and never as strong.

The problem is that two people (generally hormonal teenagers) with no previous experience in love or relationships cannot know for sure, they can only have a sense of the current of their feelings. The overwhelming majority of these relationships fail and fail quickly no matter how sure they think they are.

[OneQuestion]

sorry to say, but I disagree with almost everything you said... I don't feel like resonding to each individual thing like you took the time to do ;p

But yes, my GF is the only person I had sex with... not she ISN'T the only person I loved... I LOVED a girl from HS I never even dated(we were friends for a while... but there was always sexual tension cus we liked eachother). I consider this girl my first 'love' but never had sex with her.. I also dated a girl in highschool for 8 months, she wanted sex, I didn't do it with her... why, because I didn't think I could be with her forever, so I didn't want to **** some girl I wasn't going to stay with...

I understand why all of you are so angry about my thoughts though.. you have already long passed your first sex... it is completely reasonable that you don't want to believe in the ideas I believe in... if you did believein them... you would be putting yourself in a very depressing situation... so it makes perfect sense to me that you fight what I say.

[OneQuestion]

You sound like a little bitch. Making the poor girls wait and manipulating them to see if they are puritan enough for you. How cowardly. If what you're saying is true, then you really don't deserve to be so well off with the ladies. And yes, many women will simply disregard you as a potential mate if you try to be all friendly and nice-guy to them. It just shows how you don't have any balls and you're too afraid to tell a girl what you really want.

Completely wrong my little friend... I don't manipulte them... In any way... I don't lead them on... I am simply hanging out with them, and if things turn out that we can love eachother, THEN WE HAVE SEX... NOT UNTIL THEN. I need to know she and me BOTH feel completely into eachother and feel like it could last a lifetime... if I don't feel it could last a lifetime, all I am doing is giving myself away to some slut with no future... Sure SEX is what most guys go for... I go for love...

[MVPlaya]

Haha, I'm not mad at what you say, its just stupid. I hear this type of self-serving nonsense all the time. "All girls are just sluts these days, society has corrupted them, I'm the only person who still understands the values of the good old days." "All guys are just looking for sex now, I'm the only girl who bla bla bla." You are one of about a million rejects who is unable to fit into society so invents a series of ridiculous arguments to pretend that somehow you are correct and everyone else is wrong. Its logically flawed in every way:

1) You have no idea what life was like a century ago, you are merely assuming based on popular notions of history. Fact of the matter is all social norms prevalent today existed back then, ratios might have shifted but nothing is a new invention.

2) There are various subcultures extant then that still exist today. If you want to find a bunch of repressed virgins go to some Amish village. Knock yourself out. Some people are represssed by society (the Amish), others are repressed by inability (you).

3) The idea that the first sex is somehow magical is just idiotic. It is not rooted in anything scientific, medical, or remotely testable. Its just something you want to believe, so you believe, but there is no basis for it beyond the fact that 'you read it somewhere, so you agree.'


And you're revealing the basis for your nonsense. You loved a girl in high school, you didn't love your last girlfriend, and since you have no experience with women outside of that you base all your philosophical notions of love on that small window and think it must hold true for the rest of the world. Its hilarious. Its also ignorant and wrong.

There are many people who never experienced love in high school until later in life. My first girlfriend I never loved, the first girl I loved I was well aware that she would not be the woman I'd spend my life with, even at my most 'in love' moments I knew it would end one day and I'd move on to someone else. I'd say I didn't really fall in love until the end of my college years.

The fact of the matter is that people are varied and different, and you can sit here and blame it on society and pretend there was this magical window of time before television back when everything was about love and chivaly and arranged marriages and shotgun weddings and husbands who could legally rape their wives. Oh wait, you probably crossed that last part out of your mind. What you're seeing around you is nothing new and has gone on for thousands of years. Guys inexperienced in love who are overly dramatic and believe society is at fault are nothing knew either. There's plenty of 17th century French authors that come to mind.

So no, what you're saying is not true for others, only for yourself. And its just your rationalization of your inabilities.

[OneQuestion]

since you have no experience with women outside of that

I have PLENTY of experience with women... Sure I've only had sex sith one... but if SEX what what you call EXPERIENCE... then that is just sad, and further showing that most people, just want sex... sad.

In fact, I'd assume I know more, and have more experince than most of the 'sluts' out there... I've been in a 6 year relationship... I know how to keep a girl and love a girl... I don't just go try to F one a night.