How long before you would have sex?

[Asip4u]

Lol I explained it already in another thread haha.

haha..No explanation needed. Totally understandable!

[OneQuestion]

Come back to reality please. Your expectations from people are way too high and nobody is that perfect.

Shity reality we live in huh... belive me, I know this isn't how the world is... The world USED to be more like this... and in some counties like I said, a non-virgin is considered no good, and will never marry. Until recently(past 75 or so years), people were much more faithful.

[girl68]

Your anger in explaining yourself tells me you are having some conflict in your head ;/

It is not conflict I will without a doubt marry this man. I have some issues but guess what the difference between you and I is? I'm smart enough to seek some real help. I'm real enough to know that I need some other help. I'm not naive enough to believe that I can marry someone to tie a collar around their neck so that he/ she doesn't cheat. I'm not stupid enough to believe that my man doesn't mean much because he isn't the first. That's the difference while you sulk and drown in misery I choose to go talk to someone who will be able to give me the tools I need to become a better gf, daughter, sister, friend and surely soon enough- wife. That is the difference. And yeah, you pissed me off but I assure the last thing I am is confused. That son, is YOU.

[Asip4u]

Shity reality we live in huh... belive me, I know this isn't how the world is... The world USED to be more like this... and in some counties like I said, a non-virgin is considered no good, and will never marry. Until recently(past 75 or so years), people were much more faithful.

In many other countries people are more silent about things. A lot of cheating still goes on, divorces don't happen as often because people think it's wrong so they continue to stay in a messed up relationship.

[girl68]

Him being your FIRST... WOULD make it more special...

I think people who have already gone past their first, just are unable to accept this idea. They will be in denial with it forever, and continue sleeping around, because they are already past it, so they don't want to believe it... denial can be powerful.

Listen dink... you're starting to pose your OPINION on me. Which pisses me off. Don't tell me what is special to me. Just because you're crazy and believe in this shit doesn't mean you have to tell me that that applies to me. Listen up here one last time: don't you tell me that my guy isn't special or he could be MORE special by having being my first. He is the absolute most special thing I've ever known. Just because YOU can't wrap your warped mind around that doesn't mean you should impose your warped beliefs on me.

And then you talk about denial... well I have a piece for you on that. How about stop denying that you need professional help. You have a very warped idea on what love it and how to make it work. You're so not ready to be married yet you continue to DENY. So don't go there with me son. You're in that boat too.

[girl68]

Yup, I am 25. girl is 24... Again, I am not saying love can't happen later, simply that the first love you have(first sex also) is when the strongest relationship can come.

I don't think anyone else would disagree with THIS... If you AND your LOVER were eachothers FIRST, never had ANY thoughts of sleeping with anyone else, and were completely faithful to eachother, that would be a perfect relationship, with no fears of cheating, no past experiences to think back on, each partner would only think intamitely about that one person. This is something that can ONLY happen with a FIRST love/sex... after that, this chance is gone...

If my first was the strongest I would have married him. So obviously you couldn't be more wrong.

[Petit Papillon]

Girl, I could not have said it better myself.

Thank you Asip , I'm here to learn :p

[Asip4u]

Girl, I could not have said it better myself.

There. Fixed!

[Asip4u]

Damn, we're getting so off topic here. The OP asked how long before you would have sex? It's different for everyone and it depends on level of attraction, overall chemistry and so on.

[MVPlaya]

I never said you can't have sex with someone immediatly and have a good/long relationsihp after that... not at all, of course people who have had sex in the past, or sleep with their partners to fast, can have long relationships. I never argued that.

I just said the first love is the strongest. If you waste it, it is gone forever. That is all. Of course there can be lover after, but never as strong as it could have been.

People who fall in love the first time tend to fall in love much more strongly. Its not because its special. Its because they are completely inexperienced, don't know how to control their emotions, and if they are desperate, will give into their emotions 100% - the end result is they become dramatic, they are easily hurt, they become needy, and the relationship becomes unmanageable. That type of 'love' is not useful or even bound to succeed, it tends to collapse on its own weight out of a mixture of inexperience and a lack of moderation. Psychological studies actually prove that long-term relationships stop the heavy rush of endorphins and develop a familiar affection (a calm like versus a passionate love). And thats a characteristic for practically all long-term relationships (by which I mean 10+ years).

Shity reality we live in huh... belive me, I know this isn't how the world is... The world USED to be more like this... and in some counties like I said, a non-virgin is considered no good, and will never marry. Until recently(past 75 or so years), people were much more faithful.

You are clearly deeply bitter and can't get a handle on reality, and its funny.

The world didn't "USED to be more like this." Thats the type of shit ignorant people tell themselves, as if there used to be an ideal time where they were just perfect but OH NOES society perverted it! Its a cute fantasy but doesnt bear out. Infidelity, cheating, slutting around, whores, players, pimps, all these things have existed for millenia. Kings with five or six wives. Women who didn't know the father of their child. Girls pregnant at fifteen. Prostitutes ("the world's oldest profession").

When a guy ejaculates, he releases several million sperm cells, out of those millions of cells, 98% of them aren't even designed to infilitrate the egg, they are just designed to kill and slow down the sperm cells of rivals. Why would we evolutionarily develop to have sperm that kills the sperm of other men if women have always been faithful through time?

You're really bitter so you pretend to yourself that censored black & white films give a clear depiction of history. They do not. They give a clear depiction of censorship.

[OneQuestion]

If my first was the strongest I would have married him. So obviously you couldn't be more wrong.

your first would have been the strongest, if it was the right guy, and not a young, unready for love, sex partner.

That is the main point too, most teens ARE NOT READY for real love... they SHOULDN'T be having sex. Ruining their love forever makes me sad.

[OneQuestion]

People who fall in love the first time tend to fall in love much more strongly. Its not because its special. Its because they are completely inexperienced, don't know how to control their emotions, and if they are desperate, will give into their emotions 100% - the end result is they become dramatic, they are easily hurt, they become needy, and the relationship becomes unmanageable. That type of 'love' is not useful or even bound to succeed, it tends to collapse on its own weight out of a mixture of inexperience and a lack of moderation. Psychological studies actually prove that long-term relationships stop the heavy rush of endorphins and develop a familiar affection (a calm like versus a passionate love). And thats a characteristic for practically all long-term relationships (by which I mean 10+ years).

This wouldn't happen IF BOTH PARTNERS were SURE they wanted to be together forever, and were faithful and loving to eachother. Of course IF ONLY ONE falls in love, and the other doesn't, that is a problem... shouldn't have slept with him/her until you both KNEW.

Then you are absolutely right, one person gets hurt, and that persons love will be hurt for life and never as strong.

[Petit Papillon]

I tell you something... You can NEVER be sure if your first love is the last, or the last is the first ... <- it's actually a quote of polish priest Jan Twardowski

[OneQuestion]

I tell you something... You can NEVER be sure if your first love is the last, or the last is the first ... <- it's actually a quote of polish priest Jan Twardowski

I know this... however, I had a girlfriend for 8 months in HS. She wanted me to have sex with me - even asking me once to put on a condom and F her so she could see how it feels(we were both virgins at the time). We made out constantly, but that was about all we ever did. Anyways, I KNEW I WOULDN'T be with her forever. She was a great girl, but I couldn't see myself with her forever... which is why I NEVER went further than kissing and/or touching her breasts.

My fiance, I DID FEEL LIKE I COULD BE WITH HER FOREVER... sure that isn't 100% positive, but I knew who she was as a person, and I could SEE myself with her forever. BEFORE we had sex, I could SEE myself with HER forever.

[Petit Papillon]

Do you think I didn't see myself in the future with my boyfriend? well you don't sit in my head, so you can't know a shit And stop to repeat yourself, it's boring.