what constitutes a rebound relationship

[Zanderini]

As the title states how do i know if an ex is in a rebound relationship? She broke up with me after 18 monthes and told me she didnt want a relationship and that she wouldnt be in one in the foreeable future. She said she didnt have the time or energy to put into a full blwn relationship. Now after a few rough rough monthes dealing with her she is in a new relationship with someone she used to make fun of and say how he wasnt attractive and always high and such. does this sound like a rebound relationship?

[girl68]

Maybe you'll never know. What you need to think about is why you give a shit? She's moved on, so should you.

BTW feelings and attraction change. I used to make fun of short and skinny guys. The love of my life is short and skinny but I couldn't be happier.

[soulsurvivor23]

Yeah as the above poster said, it doesn't really matter. I of all people know how difficult it is to get over something that was going on that long, but the only person you should be concerned with is you, and making yourself happy.

[Zanderini]

i understand that and am doing everything i can to keep myself busy and stay happy. Im just curious as to what could have changed her mind about somrething like that in a few weeks? also why would someone want to date a stoner when they go to NA? I undertand that attraction changes.

[soulsurvivor23]

You never know.. In a relationship you're never really gonna tell your partner if you have any type of interest in someone else right?

[VincenzoG91]

She might be deliberately (or subconsciously) dating somebody very different from you as part of the whole moving on process.

[Zanderini]

so you think it is part of the whole moving on process?

[girl68]

I do. She's moving on, she wanted a change, she decided to go for different. Perhaps her time freed up. Perhaps she lied to spare your feelings in the first place. In any case it really doesn't matter. Keep focusing on yourself. Get busy, go out with friends, focus on school or work etc. Anything to keep yourself engaged and occupied is the very best for you during this time.

[cmacattack1]

Yep, all the above mentioned are all possibilities and like they say, why should you care? You are hanging on and hoping you can wait it out if they don't work out. If they are wrong for each other, it will work itself out in due time. While this is happening you are sinking into misery, and even if she were to come back to you, the misery wouldn't just disappear like magic because she's back. You cannot be happy with somebody else if you can't be happy with yourself. And all your confidence and attraction will be gone and she'll be right. Again.

My ex liked bigger, taller, stronger guys. After getting screwed over by them, me included, she is now currently dating a smaller skinnier guy that she can't even wear heels around. All she was looking for was somebody to treat her right, and the bigger and stronger are perks. Connections are all mental. If she is finding what she finds in the least likely of places, does it matter?

[Zanderini]

i am happy with myself actually im not sitting around being miserable. i get out with my friends surf a lot , work on my perfecting my diet and spend countless hours in the gym. I keep telling myself there is no reason to like her and that im better off but part of me always still thinks about and it is quite often. Especially when im out doing things other than the gym. Surfing my biggest stress relief reminds me too much of her even when done with other people. Quite honestly this person she has found is always high all the time and she goes goes to NA i dont get i mean he's not a bad guy but what i dont get is how there is attraction to someone who does drugs doesnt take care of himself and a person who she used to make fun. I continually want to contact her but i dont so that i dont piss her off anymore than she already is with me.

[Zanderini]

i would just like to understand what is going on...and i do understand thats a relationship is not going to happen with her. any advice on how to get her out of my head besides what i am already doing?

[cmacattack1]

You can't force her out. She'll be out when you are happy with somebody else. Much easier said than done.

[Zanderini]

You can't force her out. She'll be out when you are happy with somebody else. Much easier said than done.

agreed. i mean i think about her even when im busy with other things and being around other people it really sucks.i got pissed of i saw her driving and she cut cut me off what a bitch

[Zanderini]

Maybe you'll never know. What you need to think about is why you give a shit? She's moved on, so should you.

BTW feelings and attraction change. I used to make fun of short and skinny guys. The love of my life is short and skinny but I couldn't be happier.

reason im interested is after all of the things i done to help her /things ive been through with her theres part of me that still cares and s still attached

[girl68]

Fine you're still not over her. But as part of your healing process I'm trying to tell you you don't need to know. I'm trying to say listen son, it doesn't matter anymore. It's unfortunate that it went down like this but that doesn't mean anything is going to change. She's dating someone different. Oh well. Time to get on with life. You need to move on now.