My friend, My brother, Me...

[girl68]

I believe she does. She went out with my brother behind my back. I asked our mutual friend if I went out with her brother (romantically or not) would she be upset if I didn't tell her? She said yes. I asked my co workers how they'd feel if they're friend was macking on their sibling if they'd have a problem with that and they all said yes. I know, I'm not crazy in that respect.

And no you are wrong. I would still have a problem if they dated and she wasn't crazy. She's my friend and he's my brother. The minute they f**k is the minute she is no longer my friend. Yes, I would still be polite, nice and all that but "friend" is out of the question. She would now be a potential sister in law. And I personally believe that friend does not go hand in hand with sister in law.

And if you missed it I already talked to them both; brother included.

[psu786]

Just warn your bro and let it ride, you cant do much else

[IndiReloaded]

Well, I don't have any more advice then, Girl. Sorry. Its not an attitude I can relate to. I think people tend to stick their nose too much in other people's business, particularly unasked for. Your brother shutting you down is a signal to you that you are crossing a boundary. In my opinion, of course. I don't know your brother.

In my family, parents call their children by their first name once they reach the age of reason. Its a progression to becoming equals and adult friends. Sharing a higher %age of DNA sequence may mean we care more, but it doesn't mean we have any right to dictate our impose our will on them. Of course, it also depends if you expect your brother is intelligent enough to make good choices of his own initiative. Mine would be given the benefit of that doubt.

[vashti]

Girl - my sister married my brother's best friend. It WAS weird at first, and my brother felt much the same as you do now, but he eventually got over it.

I don't think you can impose your will on this one if they really want to be together.

[girl68]

I don't think you read my post. He didn't shut me down he listened and understood and was glad I mentioned it. The only part he didn't want to hear was her "issues" but that wasn't the point. And that isn't how we run our family. I have always had a name, use it, but whatever works for you guys.

BTW I'm not dictating, I never said they couldn't I'm saying if you do, shit is going to hit the fan.

[girl68]

I would have gotten over it too. But she would never be a close friend like she is now.

Although did you all miss the update!? It isn't happening.

[misombra]

not a good idea to mess around with peoples relationships like that. always turn out bad for you. cause more drama in your life.

leave your brother alone. he can hang with anyone he wants to.

[girl68]

yet another one who failed to read the update.

[girl68]

funny first 2 pages everyone goes on and on about how wrong my friend is but now everyones telling me I'm freaking crazy I should love the fact that my brother is hooking up with a friend. Right.

[misombra]

yet another one who failed to read the update.

ugh, what an attitude.

anyway, what can you do about it? it's ok to be upset but you seem really ridiculously upset about it.

[Lipp]

So if you already have a list of why she wouldn't be good for your brother, a break-down in communication, a non-progressive talk and don't want to hear about her relationship with her brother, why exactly do you so desperately wish to keep the friendship going?

You've given your brother a head's up, beyond that it's up to him to judge what he does and does not like about her and not be hassled about it. Unless he's 14 or something.

[girl68]

did you forget to read too? how was the talk non-progressive? I said my piece and she said hers. We both settled at it's not happening and if it did she'd come talk it over with me first. If that ain't progress I don't know what the hell is.

[girl68]

My attitude is nasty because none of y'all are responding to the new status of the situation. Edit: there isn't really even a situation anymore.

[Lipp]

did you forget to read too? how was the talk non-progressive? I said my piece and she said hers. We both settled at it's not happening and if it did she'd come talk it over with me first. If that ain't progress I don't know what the hell is.

I told her I didn't like the idea of them together and that I thought she should have told me about their little outing. I also apologized for not coming to her sooner to express my concerns and that I should have handled it better. So here I am saying sorry and she says nothing. She claims that she's done nothing wrong since nothing happened. She doesn't think this is a big deal. To respond to that I say okay, I understand how you could THINK it's not a big deal but I'm telling you that it is. She said "I'm sorry you feel that way". That's her apology. I tell her that it's annoying that I'm sitting here apologizing for the way I handled it but you sit there and claim that you've done nothing wrong and you don't dare see how I might feel about this, nor do you apologize. She kept saying she has nothing to apologize for since nothing happened. She never thinks she's done wrong. This isn't the first thing that only I apologize and she doesn't, when we were BOTH wrong.

But either way. She told me she wouldn't move in on him without at least speaking to me first. And nothing did happen and according to her now, it won't happen. She says I should trust her. That's a whole other story.

It was non-progressive because you both said your piece, she didn't care much for yours and you were unhappy with her refusal to see herself at fault, but sure, guess I misread the "move in" as in moving into the same place if they get serious, not to "make a move".

Either way, if you want to be a bitch about it and get hung up on a single thing instead of actually answering the question, go for it. You've pretty much spoiled their chances anyhow, so congrats.

[IndiReloaded]

Girl, if I remember right, you have a lot of your own baggage to sort out. I've noticed that people who stick their noses in others business tend to do it b/c 1. they enjoy the drama, 2. it is a way of avoiding their own issues.

I don't know if that's what goes on with you or not, but I don't think I would want to be friends with someone who wasn't good enough to date my sibling. In fact, I'd be tickled if any of my male friends hit it off with my sister.

Just saying. You seem to have some double standards in your life.

But, go ahead and tell us all "whatever". Its the usual response from insecure personalities when we get it right.