I Know I'm a Horrible Person, But...

[nikki87]

This will appear incredibly immature, I understand that. Just after some views, which no doubt will confirm this. I'm wondering if you'd be a little irritated.

Ok, I got with my current boyfriend nearly 10 months ago, all is fine there. On Friday, two of his friends visited and stayed over (we have been living together for a month now). I've met these guys twice, although don't know them that well. My boyfriend was yet to meet one of my friends properly so we arranged to meet for a drink while we were both out. We met in a bar and spent about 45 mins there, but at time me and my friend were talking separately wjile the lads chatted. The bar was quite loud so we couldnt have an in depth chat so went our separate ways.

Today, my friend emailed to say: ''I've added X (boyfriend's friend) as a friend on facebook. What was the other one called? Ive got total mind block.''

Now this is fine if it wasnt for the fact that she didnt add my boyfriend, which seems odd to me. I cant understand why she'd add his friends who she met once and not him?! The only reason I know she hasn't added him is because, coincidentily, he let me know his password for his hotmail account while he was away recently (he travels abroad fairly frequently and is self employed) and makes me check his account for important mail. I thuoght I'd check to see if shee'd added him.

I replied saying: ''X? I have no idea what his surname is as I'm not friends with either of them on Facebook''. This is the truth, I barely know them myself!!

I sent her an email earlier and four hours later she hasnt replied despite the fact that i've seen her on and offline all morning, very unlike her.

I sound like some srt of wannabe detective and an awful person, but she's the type of person (although I love her dearly and wouldnt want anyone or anything to hurt her) who throws herself at guys expecting them to instantly want a full-blown relationship with her. I guess I'm a little worried that she could make a bit of a 'show' of herself and make herself look silly which I dont want, especially as I know she's neither of their types.

I know i'm an awful person, but I find myself quitee irrtitated by this and I dont quite know why. Your opinions would be highly appreciated.

Thank you in advance

[QueenofCorona]

Who knows? Maybe she didn't add your man because she didn't want you to get jealous. Not saying you would but just maybe thought there was no reason to go there. She probably just thought your bf's friends were cute and available and wants to maybe meet new friends or flirt a little. If she ends up getting too wrapped up in them tell her your thoughts or concerns about her getting hurt in wording where she won't feel attacked, maybe say that they are not the type that are looking for something long term right now. She may be doing this as an attempt to meet a guy who she can double date with you. She may feel a little left out currently.

[nikki87]

Thank you for your reply I appreciate the perspective. I just find that sort of thing really cringey because I hate the idea of her scrolling through my boyfriends facebook friend list. I really dont think she'd have been cautious about offending me by adding my boyfriend. Although I am wondering if she 'added' the right guy?! Who knows? Thanks again

[Gigabitch]

It's a little embarrassing, but what can you do? Frankly, I would have been pissed if a friend who has the habit of throwing herself at guys on FB added my boyfriend, so I think she was actually trying to respect your boundaries there. She just doesn't seem to have boundaries of her own. I hate it when people use FB for dating. It causes all kinds of trouble.

[Chupacabras]

The only reason I'd use FB for dating would be to grudge-f**k someone I went to high school with.

[girl68]

Your bf is not single or available his friends are. To me that's all the reason in the world to add all his friends and not your guy.

[Petit Papillon]

And... why just not add him as a 'boyfriend of my best friend'?

PS.She doesn't have to **** all of her fb's friend list, does she?

[Gigabitch]

Well, she's apparently that kind of girl. Most of my girlfriends are friends with my husband on FB, but if one of them was known for tricking with her FB contacts, she would not be welcome to add him.

[nikki87]

And... why just not add him as a 'boyfriend of my best friend'?

PS.She doesn't have to **** all of her fb's friend list, does she?

This was kind of my point. I appreciate all your replies and views, thank you very much for them, but it just annoys me because although I know he wont say anything about it, but I know my boyfriend will think its a bit odd that she added his friends and not him. Dont get me wrong, he wont care (im being a typical girl getting worked up about this!) but I think it makes her look silly and a bit desperate.

She's not the type to sleep around, rather she's very ''full on'' straight away (ie, emails straight away, not much mystery) and she often complains that guys tell her she's a bit heavy and often suspects that she scares guys off. The annoying thing is that the guy she added acme to see my boyfriend for a bit of a break - he'd only that week broken up with a long-term girlfriend who he lives with so it's a bit messy, which is why I left my boyfriend and his friends to it quite early (as I said after about 30mins-45mins, enough time to say hi and have a drink).

[Chupacabras]

You're being ridiculous. As far as your boyfriend, I'm sure he can handle not being friended on FB. Overall, I think mind your own business should be the plan; nothing I've read seems to actually concern you and you're being a busy-body.

[nikki87]

You're being ridiculous. As far as your boyfriend, I'm sure he can handle not being friended on FB. Overall, I think mind your own business should be the plan; nothing I've read seems to actually concern you and you're being a busy-body.

Thanks for your reply. Look, I see that's how i'm coming across, but I just hate this sort of behaviour. Im sorry but I think it is my business because I think she's being rude and childish. (which has resulted in me being childish!)

[Chupacabras]

I still don't see how she's being rude. Either she's trying to maintain boundaries or she just doesn't like your BF, that doesn't qualify as "rude". What I would consider rude is someone sleuthing my emails after I trusted them with my password to check things while I'm out of town or trying to cock-block me because the person I was interested in wasn't my type. My GF started acting like this, we'd be having a very frank discussion.