Sex sucks

[Krissykris]

Has anyone ever had sucky sex?

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and sex has always been up and down, it's great sometimes so much that we end up doing it 5-6 times in a row. Then other times I don't want to have sex for over a month, like I WANT to but I can't get turned on and everything he does makes me cringe, not that "he" makes me cringe, he's great, just not always in bed......

Anyways sex sucks it's always the same, I can't get wet cause I don't have anything in my head to turn me on and physical doesn't do it, yeah I love looking but it doesn't "turn me on", then when we start having sex it hurts cause I'm not into it, then I get mad and he gets frustrated, then I get more mad at myself cause I made him frustrated then I never want to have sex again.

It's a vicious circle that is forever going. I don't think my boyfriend is bad in bed, I mean I've had a few other partners and he's up there when we have good sex, but sex can't always be amazing can it?.

I am totally sexually frustrated, lately he's not even caring about giving me orgasms, if I've ever even had one, I'm starting to doubt myself if I have. god! he's so selfish in bed sometimes though! The last 2 times he's screwed like a rabbit and finished, then offered me sloppy seconds (ya know the dink isn't nearly as hard, so it's like jamming a hot dog in there).

Anyone been here before? How do I overcome the sucky sex?

[vashti]

If you are not sure you've had an orgasm, trust me: you haven't. Therefore, the key is to learn how to have one. To be honest, the best way to go about this is to do it alone, and then you can tell him what to do.

[dewilliams2]

Sounds like you guys need to mix things up and try something new...I mean I don't know what is normal for you but have you thought about maybe role playing or bondage...maybe some toys or porn?

If you are not getting wet at all maybe you should try to make foreplay go a little longer and do some different stuff. In the past if arousal has been an issue I have actually brought my partner to orgasm with my mouth before ever even beginning to have sex...no question they are wet after that. Talk to him about it and if it is a medical reason that you can't get wet (which is caused by certain medications) then maybe you should talk to a dr or try some lube...although don't get the ky warming stuff...its like icy hot without the icy and the more friction there is the hotter it gets and next thing you know there is a fire between your legs and no amount of water makes it better...thats just a little warning for ya.

[Doc Durian]

I am totally sexually frustrated, lately he's not even caring about giving me orgasms, if I've ever even had one, I'm starting to doubt myself if I have. god! he's so selfish in bed sometimes though! The last 2 times he's screwed like a rabbit and finished, then offered me sloppy seconds (ya know the dink isn't nearly as hard, so it's like jamming a hot dog in there).

Anyone been here before? How do I overcome the sucky sex?

Get more involved... don't hang shit on him if he climaxes before you do (he's a male, designed to do so)... keep at it... let him know what you like and enjoy, before and after.

He's not a mind reader but I'm sure he wants to please you. He's your guy.

Every partner is different, well, according to my experience.

Some like assured standards, others need the surprise and chaos.

My worst partners were the ones who pretended that their appetites were quenched when they weren't. (You can usually tell from the plasticine holler'ers)

Most guys are happy for the input. No two women are the same, yet most guys function more or less the same. (Between 2-15 minutes of steady thrusting, various degrees of force, with occasional position shifts and verbal input)

Dispense with the fault finding, the resentment, the secrecy.... just tell him what you like... or if you're not 100 percent sure... what you think you like. He'll appreciate it, and you'll most definitely benefit from it.

Sex is like athletics.... 90 percent in the mind, the rest in the body.

Write that down.

[Kaius]

Am I the only man in the world who ever complained about sucky sex? Seems like women complain about men. But I, a healthy 35-year-old male, had sucky sex for 9 years of marriage, and no sex for the remaining 3 years.
People must wonder what constitutes sucky sex for a man. Well.... even though we can get off sticking our meat in mostly any hole, there is a key component which clearly identifies sucky sex: lack of passion.
My ex-wife lay on her back....did nothing......stiff....her knees never even bent at all. She didn't hold me, caress me, suck on me, NOTHING! As soon as I tried to change position, she would say "ow this hurts".
Then we stop. I would give her oral, and she would come. And then she would turn around and go to sleep. I would be left hanging literally....
There were times when I get so frustrated, I run out of the house screaming. I couldn't believe I tolerated it for so long. It was painful.... 9 years this went on....2 kids..... and then I stopped.
She asked for sex, and I said NO. She tried to get close to me, and I pushed her away. I had enough... I was not going to tolerate such selfish illusion of a marriage. I resented her so much...
not only for the bad sex, but for her inconsiderate behaviors during our everyday lives....her meanness.... her jealousy and possessiveness. Her lack of compassion and interest in me and what I do.

Conclusion: Bad sex is a sign of deeper issues. This incompatibility is nature's way of tell you STOP and find someone else.

[LeoGuy]

Sex isnt that important, but that's just me

[7sins]

at least you are having sex... i wish i was getting laid right about now...

[Gigabitch]

Is it really all his responsibility to get you turned on? Have you ever heard of feeling horny to begin with, and going to your boyfriend to get your needs met? It sounds to me like you want him to squeeze water from a stone. This is more of a YOU problem, not a HIM problem.