ADVICE NEEDED! I had sex with my BFF!

[atiras]

I need some advice! I've known my best friend for about 10 years. We met in college, and I was actually dating a friend of his at the time. We've both graduated and moved to different cities, but have always kept in touch. We've even planned our vacations around the same time in order to see each other. We've met each other's friends and families...so we're close! I recently took a trip home, and he was in a neighboring city. He drove an hour each way everyday to see me. One night, he joined my family for dinner. It was very relaxed and natural as always, but something was different this day. After dinner, my family was like Whoa! There's an obvious attraction there. I was like, Really? They were like REALLY!!! The next day (which was Valentine's Day), he came up to visit again. We had lunch with my family and later watched movies. As he was leaving, we hugged for a long time and he whispered in my ear, 'We're best friends'. I said, 'I know', and he kissed me on the cheek. The following day, we met up with some friends from college and went out. While we were out, we were holding hands and talking with our foreheads pressed against one another's. Next thing you know we were having the most passionate kiss ever! It was as if time stopped. We were in a room with 200+ and no one else was there! He asked if I wanted to come back to his place after we left? I hesitated to say yes b/c he's dating someone (ugh!) and I'm recently out of a 3 year relationship. But the chemistry was undeniable and it just felt so right, so I said YES (I know, I know). We went back to his place and talked and laughed like normal. The lights went out and one thing lead to another. Imagine 10 years of 'What if?' all rolled up into one! Amazing! The next day we had a talk...nothing too deep...but I told him that I had feelings for him and he assured me that it was mutual and promised to visit me soon. Later we hung out with my mom and laughed like normal. Before he left, we held each other and kissed passionately for 20 minutes, but it felt like 20 seconds! I wanted more! Where did all these feelings come from??? The next day he had his best guy friend pick me up and take me to the airport. He called to make sure I got there safely. We had briefly talked about meeting up in Miami later in the week, but I had a last minute change of plans b/c of work and other things I had going on. When I got back to my destination, I texted him to let him know that I made it safely. 3 days later, still no response from him!

Guys, help me out with this one! I know he has a girl, but I know that he's not happy with her b/c we've talked about her 1,000 times. I know that I want to be with him--our situation is ideal b/c we've been friends for so long, we're comfortable with each other, we enjoy the same things, etc. Maybe I got so caught up in the moment and was hoping that he would break up with his girl and be with me! Now, I don't know what to think. We never have talked everyday, especially b/c of the time difference, but the dynamics of our 'friendship' have changed now and I expect more from him!!! I also know that distance is not a factor b/c he's been in a long distance relationship before. What should I do???

[dewilliams2]

I've been here...it can get kind of weird...best thing you can do is give him time...give him a week or two and then give him a call....or maybe he will call you first, regardless you both need to think about some things.

[Asip4u]

He has a girl and still slept with you? Umm, no offence but why would you sleep with a guy who has a g/f? If he did it to her what makes you think he wouldn't sleep with another girl and cheat on you? Or do you think you're more special somehow?

[Lite]

Look, you suck for getting involved with someone who is in a relationship. He sucks because he's cheating on his girlfriend. If he's so unhappy he needs to dump her ass.

What should you do? Well, you can either talk to him about how you feel and suggest that if he wants to pursue the relationship he break up with his girlfriend...along with taking the chance that your friendship will end outright. Or, you can find a way to deal with your feelings that isn't quite so destructive.

[Gigabitch]

So, it's now been almost a week. Has he called yet? If not, you're going to have to kick him in the ass.

[davidtorres]

This what happens all the time if a girl has a guy best friend. lol When Harry met Sally.

This is your payment for your guy friend after 11 years of him listening to you. lol congratulation! youre finally a wh-ore.

[kojima9394]

i kissed a really good friend of mine evern knowing she had a 3 year long relationship with a guy. she's not a whore it was just a spur of the moment and the mood was too good for her to refuse. if you love him make him decided what he wants, you or the girl it will be hard for him but its what you need to tell him you need. if you want him to be a friend apologise and tell him it wont happen again, if he intiates sex again refuse or get hurt.

[maximus242]

Wow I completely disagree with some of these guys comments.

You can get him for sure, hes probably pretty damn torn at the moment.

Okay dont do things differently than you normally would. No faster way to push away a guy than to start going all relationship behaviour.

Hes probably always wanted you

Probably torn between keeping you as a friend and having you as a girlfriend

Also, I would say though, in the future, sleeping with any guy quickly puts yourself into a losing battle. I dono what you should do really, just talk to him, be real. If I was in his position I would be feeling a lot of different things right now. Probably what id want you to do is call me, make me feel like its just like old times except better than ever, dont try to change yourself, he likes you as you are so dont start trying to be different. I probably wouldnt want you to ask me about relationship/gf until I had figured everything out and was ready. Hes probably taking the time to think about what the hell he is going to do, probably why he hasnt replied, doesnt know what to say.

[6709RJ]

I was in the similar situation of your BFF, except I stop before the sex part.
However, I still got panic in the next day and didn't know how to face my girlfriend at that time and my BFF.
So I dispear for days, working hard like hell, no telephone, no private email, just to get rid off that stuff out of my system until I was calm enough to figure out what to do.

I don't know how people think about sex in US, but since I got panic simply by kissing my BFF, maybe he is in panic as well.
Therefore, if you still cherish your friendship, give him some time, perhaps he is also trying to find out the best solution for both of you.
In addition, think about how to keep your friendship if he is not going to break up with his girlfirend.

[Gigabitch]

I wish this person would come back. I really feel for her. I got my heart broken in a situation a little like this one. The guy just didn't know what to do and freaked out. I never heard from him again. It still hurts, actually.

(Edit: we were both single)

[davidtorres]

Well if you really are a GOOD friend then you shouldnt have slept with him since you KNEW that he has a gf. ask yourself what does that make you? also, if he was really a good friend, he shouldnt have made a move on you and slept with you if he is in a relationship.

[bloodtippedrose]

i kissed a really good friend of mine evern knowing she had a 3 year long relationship with a guy. she's not a whore it was just a spur of the moment and the mood was too good for her to refuse..

BULL. a kiss can be spur of the moment but then you gather yourself up and think of the consequences before you fu(k him. People are all Id. "I want to **** him cuz im in the mood now. Hes been my friend forever!" Whatever. take a second to think from the mind of someone whos not you. How about the poor girl that just got cheated on?

[Neo(n)]

to me it sounds like he's liked you probably since college, which makes you more special to him than this other girl, mainly because you've been friends for so long.
if he's a descent guy he's probably worried about hurting his gf's feelings by breaking up with her, and is confused about what to do.
he needs a bit of time, so like has been suggested give him about a week and call him after to see whats going on nd when you want to meet up.
when you meet up next im sure everything will become clear =)

[mikechudej]

Stop talking about his girlfriend from now and forever, if you really want this relationship to go forward.

It should not be something you guys talk about at all. Find something else to talk about, but first, make him decide who he wanted to have a relationship with.

[lastwish]

What a loser.